you were a packaged deal
and came with a disclaimer
claiming emotionally unstable
and jittery
with minimal ability to balance
book and art and poetry
with your overactive *** drive
and unquenchable thirst for intoxication
and I kept you in mint condition
barbie
as best as I could while you kept mind
and we matched
and interlocked
and soon were inseparable
but barbie i can only keep you so long
your hair is fading
and so is the loneliness that once made me praise you
and barbie you are a burden
and are weighing on my glass display
and leaning and tipping
and are making no effort to support your own weight
i may be your plastic stand
but i am more than moral support

dear lord
we are on rough waters
of a pool of saliva
you produced while sleep walking

and only in your sleep
do you acknowledge my existence
through blind retort
blue-glowing retort

I am the sail and will decide the direction
and you are the wind propelling us into jagged rocks and jagged water
your crew has abandoned ship
and you are a whirlpool
and eventually
your twitching eyes
darting eyes
sleep walking eyes
will creak under crusty cement
and you will too acknowledge the ship you destroyed
on jagged rocks
and rough waters

be honest
when did you last wash your hands
perform bacterial baptisms
to was the nicotine
from your lucky
and pomade
from your hair

and when did you last
think of me at three am
were you in bed
in the sea and the sky
and was it hot in thirty below zero

do you miss me
when youre *****
and craving naivety
and when it gets too hot under fleece pants
are your thighs sweating yet?

sometimes i wish
that the faint set of
vibrations on the carpet
were caused by the alarm
of your desire to talk to me
to reach out to me
to miss me

but the only vibrations
are those i remember
after the first kiss
and me laying awake
for two hours buzzing

and how can it go for three months
and how can you not remember me

i want people to just after me
and i want confidence to ooze out of by body
and i want people to turn their heads and swoon
and i want the attention i deserve
and the happiness i require
and the time needed to make it happen

but mainly i want your frozen heart
piggy backing on mine
until black mixes with purple
and you feel me
like three weeks ago
along the back of my spine
and front of my rib cage

cause baby i can feed you
and i can hydrate you after all the tears
and swell up all the sadness
until it blisters and oozes
cause baby its painful
i know it
stop counting
the clock stopped with me

Smoke me on your cigarette break but
i am more than just ashes because
i linger on your skin
and fingers and you taste me
and you smell me
and eventually too much of me will
produce fine lines and lung obstructions
and soon enough i **** you

i am not prayer; i am poetry
and exist within
(and outside)
a realm of preconceived notions
about choices from august nights

and i still experience
that uncomfortable humidity
that pours from hot breath and hollow hearts

have you ever stopped to think
that i am more than
a look on my face
(an aparent sign of ****** activity)
and that the feelings we share are not mutual

i am sexless
and will not submit myself to: *** of sorry/
of fifty mile travels/
or because you are homesick/
or because you walked me to my car
parked 50 feet away

because i am more that fifty feet
and i am more than prayers and poems