it must have been after the shaky hesitation
and half naked runs across rooms
or after the time I saw all of your skin
(all of it)

it was after the time your shyed away
silent laughing
or were we home alone?

maybe it was after the time
you wished for me in your bed
and there I appeared
fully dressed and unaware

and I have won trophies
for sneaking in and out of houses
for staying put in your bedroom
for spitting toothpaste out of windows

and I have won trophies
and heavy medals I wear around my neck
for my jealousy and attitude
and aversion to drinking while stealing your liquor
and making you angry
so angry
and so scary
and for making it up to you
and for forgiving you when you have done the same

and in some point
on some squeaky stair
I feel in love
with fishing poles
and the fingers that hold them
and with front seat riding
and a sudden desire
to maybe not be so independent

and sometimes when I think about
the rapid growth
of a flower and a ****
and how easily comparable they are
to coconut drinks and spoiled rice
I wonder if you will get sick of me
and my jealousy
and my attitude

or if after we have shared skin secrets
for month upon month
I still get nervous
when you walk out of bathrooms
and at long eye contact
and for my constant crying
I am not sad
but do you still get nervous?

un simbolo profundo
de los jovenes rebeldes
ignorantes
se puede encontrar
en las tiendas
el las camisetas
de un pais
lleno de sus enimigos
de amigos del pais
que apoyan
la idea de capitalismo
y la cara
de un hombre guapo
un hombre argentino
un hombre cubano
un revolucionario
es incomprendido
por las tiendas
que usan su cara
para ganar dinero
para difundir confusión
entre jóvenes
me interesa que
un hombre tan inteligente
cayó a un país
que terminó su vida
y ahora
usa su casa
de un lección
y símbolo
de las similares
entre capitalismo
y comunismo

I am aware of red flags
and really aware of the possibility
that these lead to red rivers:
red running rivers
in which I am floating face up

have you forgotten:
I am able bodied?
and able bodied as I am
I am equally swollen with boredom weight
and the weight of boredom
and the perpetual presence
of the inability to see my toes
(if I lean back far enough)

and with this body
(and that body floating in the river)
I have filled a lake of tears
and blood
and ***** and oil
that you have fished in and taken from

in that river I am stained red and blue
and so are the towels I used
(we used
you used)

oh fisherman
retrieved my body
(if you get this message)
because I am calling for you from heaven
you are weeping and heaving
as you hoist my body from the river

it is too late, fisherman
it is no use to pump
red and blue
(purple) water
from my lungs

I have filled myself with it
in its airborne state

and I am watching you, fisherman
from the skies and the sea
in every carp you catch
and whether you eat me or spare me
fisherman
I am perpetually grateful
to your choosing of my choices

When is it that you've had enough
when you can't tell methane from Mexico
and the bruises on your knees
resemble the hickies
from the drug dealer boyfriend
you left last summer

I remember him very well
and picture his blurred face
Looking at me longingly
from between my legs

he was sweaty
and I was vulnerable
and he used every inch of my body
to convince me of his desire

but I dont mind
and an certainly not shameful
of that curiosity I developed
for telling skunk from week
and the admiration
and ****** frustration
for the cholo type of boy

sometimes I miss you
but maybe those are nights
that I'm not getting any

tengo que recordar
que mis amigos
no son posesiones
sino extenciones
de mi existencia
de mi sustento

y mis amigos hablaran
de mi molestia
y de mi gloria
y cambiaran historias
de mis luchas

pero no soy una criminal
yo quiero sentarse n el coche
de ***** y oro
y no enterder la musica
que eliges

y cuando yo voy a mi casa
despues un noche
de cigarillos
y bufandas
yo quiero olor el humo
en mi pelo y mi piel
y recordara
que mis amigos no son posesiones
pero son extenciones
de mi existencia
y de mi sustento

have i become so dependent
that i cling to the microfibers that form in your dryer
and stick on your sweater

because for six months
seven months ago
i tasted italy and salvador
and corn tortillas
and teeth
and missed ***** mexico

and for three weeks
about two months ago
i spun around the washing machine
until my fibers were stuck and someone detached me
and i lay there soppy
and i lay there wet

and i blame the machine
its sheer power and ability to wipe clean the stains of engine oil and uv blue you drank in the garage

and i have lost dependency
because of its lack of sustainability
i miss my baby
all my babies
every baby
and if you need me
ill be collecting the microfibers
that form in your dryer
and stick on your sweater

you are brewing
and steaming
and boiling
and churning
in the hot air
and hot water
in your nervous system

and you are
making yourself sick
from the words you’re swallowing
debes masticar las palabras
de sus amigos
before you ***** up
tangled messes

is your heart on your sleeve
next to the tender ******
of your sharpened blade
limpialo! stop crying
i am tired of your stirring

a ti yo soy la bruja
ill shut the lid of the cauldron