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Liz Anne Jul 2012
We protect our paper bills and petty cents
With two inches of impenetrable glass
But separate our sick from our healthy
With plastic thin and crumpled as paper
Liz Anne Jan 2014
Bleak waters wink from below
Reminding me how little I know
Of how deep I have to fall
I'm looking for lightening
And realizing I don't mind
The absence of a gentle sun
My bow dives but the stern holds
Even in the ocean spray I feel
Feel my own salty fear
I promise I'm not sinking yet
I'm only flirting with a sense of falling
Even as tempest-torn seas threaten
Waves strong enough to tempt me
To stop fighting back
And let me be overcome
By a mystery so beautifully beyond me
Liz Anne Feb 2012
Jealousy smells like gasoline and sea water (bog water)
Sick and strange
Coarse of touch and taste
Not quite hate
No one can hate what they long to be
Thick as tree sap to drowning ants
What you don't know
Is I feel it too
Like anger in my throat and venom on my tongue
Spiders, you and I
With a thousand piercing green eyes
Neither of us would see until the sting had come
Hands rattle
Fangs grind
False inferiority violates the torn edges of the mind
Indignant scowls (flaming scowls)
This is no child's game anymore
Liz Anne Jan 2012
There is a pile of chopped up birch tree
That's death too
Even if no one notices

There is a brown maple leaf in the intersection
That's death too
Even if no one pauses to let it pass

There's a worm dried up on the side walk
That's death too
Even if everyone stomps on it

There's a quiet lady who's never lived alone
That's death too
Even if they all mourn when she goes
Liz Anne Jan 2013
Here's the pitch

        Bukowski's an *******
        But I'll put up
        With his lousy ****
                                                                         First one's a fast ball
        Dickinson's a hermit
        And if we're honest
        All she really needed
        Was to get out of the house
                                                                         Number two and she missed the curve
        Hughes never taught me much
        He was a saint long before
        Death to the far too optimistic man
                                                                          Ball three flies straight to the bat
        Morrison could hypnotize and tried to be
        More than just one bad acid trip
        But no one could quite decide
        If he was any good without the Doors
                                                                          Strike three, ladies and gentlemen
        I'm a hopeful poet
        Who's wondering now what
        It is they'll say about me

You're out!
Liz Anne Oct 2011
"Let me teach you
What you won't know.
Let me show you
What you won't ever see."
Said the Bird to the Beetle
"Let me bring you
A piece of the Sky"

The Beetle smiled politely
And pondered so, then asked
"Would you let me
Let me teach you
What I know?
Let me show you
What I see?
Kindly would you
Let me give you
A piece of the Earth?"

The Bird only snickered
Coldly he answered
"Why would I want the Earth
When I can have the Sky?
What value is dirt to flight?"

"Without the Earth, my friend,"
The Beetle said wryly
"You forget, we'd all
Live on valueless flight."
Childish, I know but I still see that Bird's high-held head and that Beetle's wry smile . . .
Liz Anne Mar 2012
Overlooking the edge of the bay
On the near side of the tourist shops
I walked past the sighs of three men
The first sat crouched without life in his eyes
I gave him grief and I suppose
That must have been all he'd ever had
A few steps away sat the next man
With a simple sign "Please." was all he begged of me
For him I gave sorrow but I'm afraid nothing more
The third was shameless but held an honest sign
"Why lie? The money's for beer."
I parted with pity for him after all what else could I give?
As I walked on I came across a fourth man
His sign matched his face, both said "Smile"
And that's what he gave me
Liz Anne Nov 2012
Time spent bleeding, bruising, you told me
A breathtaking lie
Sorry honey, I won't take it back now
I'm stubborn, I'm cold, but mostly
I'm far too lost from you
To ever admit I convinced you
Before I've convinced myself
I've done nothing but lie
By shaking the cage and setting you free
Liz Anne Sep 2011
A smile breaks like dawn
Sinister and wrong
False flowers bloom where cat’s eyes
Shone true bright as the moon
I carry with me a tirade of scars
They are my companions in this ley-line world
And sometimes when the sun strikes them
They open fresh and further deep than before
Stars bring a healing touch
Black skies hide the scabs
But in moonlight I revel in my scars
Dusk I welcome always regardless of the hour
Come quickly and I will run the tightrope
From my world to yours
Conversion from aversion
Together we are one
We are selfish and freely unstrung
There is beauty in loneliness so long as we take flight
Like bats, we are pure only to the open eye
An eye called three
But even together we are only a moment
And we are apart too soon
For day’s exit is slow but night is quick
Once more we are crowded alone again
Liz Anne Dec 2011
Falling freely into cascading commotion
Sound and scent engulf emotion
[Not everything is as important as it seems]

Cars creaking find their way to houses heaving
Daily doldrums of amorous ambition
[Not even love guiding can prevent loneliness]

Streaming spouts leave rusty rings
Shoes worn short between dreamless dozing
[Not entirely awake are you?]

[Not every day do bluebirds come]
            [Not every day do miracles come]
                        [Not every day does vision come]
This one owes its title to The Doors' "The End".
Liz Anne Sep 2011
The questions rolling around my head
Won't let me see the light
They make it hard to hear the voices in my heart
Constricting, sliding, slithering in and out of holes in consciousness
I can't  feel the bottom or see my way to the top
All that I desire lies just out of reach
The moment I let go I hear the rattles shaking back
Can't quite see where or get there yet
Scales slide I've yet to find a way out
Save to close my eyes and see the snakes imbedded in my brain
Somewhere far and distant there are apple trees
Fruits of red and yellow fill my questions find my needs
Poison they'll bring to venom and words will be crushed
Rattles will break and rust
Liz Anne Dec 2013
Lovers
become leavers and
leavers' love
is the strongest I've come to know
you who would ask me my
secrets
but not take care to see
why
they were kept
did you follow my fingertips across your skin
they were
graceful
when I had no other grace to offer you
you
who asked to know me when my smeared painted
lips whispered
that love and understanding are
far
too often separated by knowledge of the secrets you
in your only
naivety sought
to know.
Liz Anne Feb 2014
I've got a bitter
taste
in my lips
and it feels like
acid
under my tongue.
I'm listening
to the Lioness
but there's not
enough
smoke and
whiskey in her
breath
to soothe
me
and there's not
enough grit
in my heart
to make me
think
I'm worthy
of my own.
Here's my chance
to let him fly
but so long as I've got
hope
as strong as I've
always
had, I'm not
likely to
try.
Liz Anne May 2012
Laughing
When I
Should be
Crying

                     I've never
                     Been lonely
                     When I'm
                     Alone

                                          You're not here
                                          When I most
                                          Need you to be

                                                             ­  It was a lie
                                                             ­  When I said
                                                            ­   I always tell
                                                            ­   The truth

Crying
When I
Should be
Laughing

                     I've never
                     Been alone
                     When I'm
                     Lonely

                                          You're still here
                                          When I don't
                                          Need you to be

                                                             ­  It was the truth
                                                           ­    When I said
                                                            ­   I always tell
                                                            ­   Lies

These are
The little things
That never hurt

Until they
Become the
Only things
That do
Liz Anne Apr 2012
I don't know how to tell you
All the things I wish I could
I keep telling myself
If you were worth it
You would have understood
But I'm the one who's silent
I'm the one who couldn't say
I'll forever be the one
Who ran away
And in the end I think maybe
I'm the one who wasn't worth
What it took for you say
What you needed to say to me
Liz Anne Feb 2012
Have you ever felt hate?
Deep-rooted, heart-consuming hate?
Have you ever felt that shard of dry-ice plunge into your heart and pull out your throat?
The way it writhes in your blood and how it overcomes every other emotion, every other memory, save the one it stemmed from?
And how for that, however brief, moment, your life's purpose is eaten away, stripped of all desire beyond vengeance or self-destruction?
And you almost smile with the pure exhilaration of it?
And you almost scream from the terror of it all?

The passions of hate have thrilled and terrified me.
For a quick minute or two.
A few times in my life.
But.
The passions of love have also thrilled and terrified me.
For a quick minute or two.
A few times in my life.
And
Neither passion has thrilled or terrified me more than the other.
Liz Anne Jan 2012
To every
          small gain
To every
          choice made
To every
          hasty negative
To every
          love chased
To every
          life lived
Liz Anne Feb 2012
If

                                                            Its

                                                    Still

                                       There

                           When

                  You

          Get

Back
Liz Anne Aug 2012
You would've been perfect
If you'd have come along
Before I changed my mind

We could've been perfect
If you had been there
Before I made my plans

I should've been perfect
If I hadn't seen the road
Before you came along
Liz Anne Jun 2012
. . . There's a darkness in the room next to me . . .
. . . I'm not sure what it could be and I can't yet see . . .
. . . My heart isn't changing, it's been long since it last did . . .
. . . I know where the basement is, the attic too . . .
. . . I know the bones hang in the closet by the door . . .
. . . But I've never seen the looks of you before . . .
. . . Hair like choking coal and eyes of putrid ebony . . .
. . . Some thin breezy nights I wish you'd swallow me . . .
. . . But I haven't yet left so here I'll be, burying my soul . . .
. . . Where a devil and an angel wait patiently . . .
. . . I'd go with you now if you'd come with me . . .
. . . Please don't hurry, I left you behind to find yesterday . . .
. . . I'm not quite done yet with staining ancient history . . .
. . . Birdsongs play in cemeteries so why can't we . . .
. . . Never said I was sorry, now I guess I'll go . . .
. . . But I'll take my skeletons with me . . .
. . . Please don't forget to blink before I fly . . .
. . . Into the darkness of the room next to me . . .
Liz Anne Dec 2011
Rocky and blanched as they are
These mountains are mine

They are not evergreen
But they do see sun and snow

Tufts of flowers and snake's tombs
Paint their sides

Winds and rains bruise their peaks
And beat their sides

But deep in their valley
They protect my heart

So next time you glance
Please remember

These mountains are mine
Liz Anne Nov 2012
There are no --******-- truths I've yet to find

Scraped heels and calloused hands held without shape in a --soundless-- disarray of ravens
Caught in bluebirds' own --murderous--thunderous--cantankerous-- unseen display

Lacking in delivery but --******-- truth all the same.
Liz Anne Dec 2011
The cry of the wounded
Brings me to tears
When my heart yearns
To howl with the wolves
Why must one suffer
For another's elation?
Liz Anne Oct 2012
Long since dawn I have longed only to love
                                                     --A fiery sun
Freedom came but ashen light would not fade
I've gone without taking the settled score
You are the fog I chose to keep at bay
Often have I seen; you find memory in him
Muted misery taking light to gracelessly bear
Enveloping me might not have led to waste
He's quieter now than you ever were
All the same I can't really say how
His is the mist of morn' run dry by the sun
In  his smallest uncurlings all of you drifts in
All except the promise of soft light
She doesn't see it; she's never seen you
I cannot warn her away when I too
                                                     --Sometimes
Dream of cool cloudy days
Liz Anne Nov 2012
I am angry
But not so lost I haven't seen the way
Out
But here's the catch
Don't you see?
Not living's all that's real to me
But all the same
Here I lack
Something of adventure
And something I don't want back
I'm angry in a little way
I'm not Grace Slick
Or Bob Dylan
All the same
But I'm asking for the one thing
I can't quite claim
Freedom from a single frame
Every time you ask me to stay
I can't help wanting
More than anything
To stray
I'm angry
And I'm foolish
Childish
Running
Wrong
I'm all these things
But lacking the
Commitment
To say which one
I am angry
But I've had years
To prove you
Wrong
"Pay no attention
To man
Behind the curtain"
Just for a moment I'll let you see him
All the same
Here in this **** place
Every f*ing thing the same
Just as godforsaken
As the last ****** frame
That's my state of mind
That's my one man parade
I am
Angry
But just like
Dylan had his placards
And Slick had her rabbit
I've got
A big green head
To keep me
Sane
Liz Anne Jan 2012
How I’ll keep you safe
In the year of icy rain
                                                                                     How I’ll keep you from
                                                                                     Kissing an innocent frog

How I’ll show you that
They don’t own you
                                                                                     How I’ll show you stars
                                                                                     Without all the miles

How I’ll love you with
All your love in mind
                                                                                     How I’ll love you quietly
                                                                                     In that bittersweet style
Liz Anne Feb 2012
No help is going to come
If it doesn't come soon
Nothing but a rain-less storm
Thickly pushing its way in

And I can see black where I know
There was once innocent blue
And I can feel red creeping down
These walls of mine

Wish there was lightening striking
I hate this only almost fighting

If I can't make it on my own
I'm afraid they will
If I won't find that smile
I'm afraid I won't be able
To find it ever again

Night breeze blunders
I hear the roar of ancient
And not so distant thunder
I'm afraid I'll never see
Your faces ever again

Someday with a flash of light
I will shatter, jaded, and cry
Someday with or without you
I will lay down, silently, and die

I just don't know
Which day
Will come first
Liz Anne Apr 2012
She walks
Like there's a tiger in her thighs
Smooth, languid, and threatening
Ask her about the sun
And she'll say it hurts her eyes
Tell her she's beautiful
She'll know its almost a lie
Her lips are red
To keep you dreaming
Somewhere between
What should be
And what could be
Lean like claws
Her unwrung hands
Are rough but teasing
In the air around her
You've got every chance
But not a one will get you past
The daggers in her smile
The darkness in her laugh
Pulls you in as she saunters away
And you stare
But beneath it all
She doesn't really know
How to help you see
A Tiger Lily
Can only be free
Liz Anne Jul 2012
Plastic, Glass, and Metal ceilings
Clocks and bars
Lend me a sip
This whole place is about to tip over
Under it all I feel the pull of the fall
Liquid Love in a crystal vase
Can’t help me be who you want to see
Midnight one
Midnight two
Orange flickers, green snickers
Spinning round round around
I’m a dreidel on the edge of a table
Waltzing suicides don’t know the ocean’s below
On the eve of this kiss
The cliff crumbles in ecstasy
‘World won’t quite let us lose it all
Keys, Cash, and Cars
Missing socks and a sky without stars
Ursa Major with a minor problem
Now it’s a habit he can’t quite kick
Orion’s belt is fastened too tight
And the seven sisters are now only six
Do you see what isn’t there?
Careful, careful the Sun thinks even the Moon is fake
But more than that Diana knows
Though to her you’re just a blunder
A wayward soul lost to deaf thunder
Drink, drug, and dalliance
By marring morning this too shall pass to you
Liz Anne Oct 2011
Late in the night I dream of wildfire, or perhaps it dreams of me.
It begins as most dreams do in a large expanse of space and although there can be no time the place is either nondescript or more vivid than my eyes can take. Usually I float on the breeze, an essence of tranquility and I breathe only for the bliss of it, no longer is it necessity. I close my eyes and revel in the placid air but when again I open them I find the space below is in actuality, a place. Sometimes it is beauty beneath and at times it is putrid waste. Each moment I gaze it saddens me, makes me wish it was gone. From my eyes, each a single tear, one white and one red, shed. They are like rain but one is thunder and the other light and down, down below on the surface of that vast continuum of space and together they are flames, screaming, without mercy or rage. My heart lifts, no. No longer am I tranquility, I have heart, I feel a gentle tug, a smile, no, I am no longer a breeze. I am solid, I have breadth, width, no, I cannot. I need space. Those darting fingers of heat, they are death, final and resolute, and I am mortal, falling, falling, into their grip. Throwing forth my hands, my palms they painfully lick. With every inch closer deeper and deeper the red hot blades flick, now they cut me, I am close oh, too, too close I will be flames then ash. I can see Death’s all too absent eyes. I cry out and . . .
I wake.
Liz Anne Nov 2011
Today I sat down
To write something beautiful
For you
But I couldn't find the words
And I'm not sure how to say
What it is I want to say
To you

Somewhere I'm sure
Orchids bloom for you
And someday I'm sure
I'll smile when I hear
Your name

Today I sat down
To write something meaningful
For you
But it still didn't come out
Quite right
Its hard to find meaning
When trying to stand afar

Today I sat down
To write a poem
For you
But this is all I got

I nearly crumpled
And threw away
The thought
Liz Anne Jul 2012
Sanity is no greater than one's desire to overcome reality.
Without it all one's imaginings are attainable.
And reality becomes infinite.
Liz Anne Feb 2012
These are the words
i                                                                  i
I rarely use
L                                                                L
To say that simple
O                                                                O
Sentiment
V                                                                V
We always knew
E                                                                E
Tickled
y                                                                y
The tips of our
o                                                                o
Tongues
**u                                                                u
Liz Anne Mar 2012
Inside a little bubble                                      
Longing to break free                                        
Struggling against the walls                                                  
Of Fate and Jealousy                                      

                                  Looking for an exit
                                               Didn't pay an entrance fee
                                              But this place is no prison
                                                              If she'd only open her eyes and see
Liz Anne Aug 2012
Have you seen
When the wind follows me?
It curls up from the current of the sea
Please don't call it effervescent fantasy
I'm not dreaming unless you are too
And if you ask if I've seen
The light crawl
As it creeps along your skin
Don't laugh when I say I didn't notice
Any more than your concrete schemes
If you can finally swear not to follow me
I promise not to dance
Along your skin
Liz Anne Feb 2012
Is having . . .
                 A thousand sorrows
                                  A thousand troubles
                                                   And a heart that is free.
Liz Anne Mar 2012
.
. .
. . .
Laughing too hard

As I usually do
Leaves me wanting

To cry too hard

For all those times
I was hurting from

Trying too hard
 . . .
. .
.
Liz Anne Apr 2014
Listening to
cowboy songs
I'm wishing I could
dance
along the horizon
like a Pale Rider
in the moment before
he followed the
setting
sun but all that's
left of my
nameless
grit and grandeur are
whispers
through dry weeds
and the echo of an
ache
in the tune
of wild wanderers
confined
to a song played on repeat.
Liz Anne Jan 2014
Skin like rubber
thick and tough
but soft and prone to
wounds
of the irreparable kind
hard to love
and harder still to keep
I am the still waters of
a deeply churning sea
follow me
down to ships wrecked
if you care to look
find a gentle
gaze
for so many quietly blind
thoughts have never
seen
their way up and through
my rubber lips
Liz Anne Dec 2011
Caught on the threshold
             Of freedom and fire
                        Holding to the hinges
                                Of not yet fallen plans
                                      Please don’t let the sea wash away
                                             Everything I have left to say
                                                   Looking for the sun
                                                        On a moonless night
                                                           ­  Seeing the stars
                                                           ­     And knowing mine’s there
                                                           ­        Separated by the fear
                                                            ­          That morning won’t come
                                                            ­       Balancing on broken ground
                                                          ­      Glancing back without a sound
                                                           ­  It’s a little hazy up the way
                                                        But sand and stone don’t stop
                                                  My unfolding, unwinding starlit path
                                             The steps back are easier than forward
                                      Steely heart and day-made dreams
                                  Of gold and tarnished silver
                              Help to hope my star like step-stones
                                   Will give me the first stride
                                                                                                                                        Beyond the celestial doorway
Liz Anne Apr 2014
I
Vengeance never made much sense to me. Then again neither did apathy but both have managed to find me from time to time. I've felt my skin peel and molt when I least expected it to and I've heard the sound of resounding wolves calling from the days I often swore to leave behind.

So long I've fought to be anything but the crumbling ruins I've admired from afar. I'm asking. Begging. Now. For you to let me be the dust storm I've become.

Quiet in my controlled passions. Many have asked passion of me when I knew better than to give it freely and I owe that to my own resolve and all the things you taught me unintentionally.

I've let you believe, and let you live so long, thinking I was much less than I've long since learned to be but its getting hard to watch the sky change when I know I've loved the sunset much more than I've regretted missing the dawn.

I can't tell you all the things that shaped me, all the minor heartbreaks that brought me to, because so many have and would have broken you too.



II**
The hardest part of loving the children you knew is admitting they've become so much more than you. I'm asking now, I know no other, no easier, way to show you that you're missing so much of me by asking me to remain free of easy disappointment. I am not perfect but I have tried and am still and I am far smarter than you'd likely admit and I've overcome some things you still find struggle in.

I have been cursed with an unrelenting empathy that's built in me a patient wisdom that is more often than not beyond my recollection. But more than that I wish this could be enough for you. But I know change breeds disappointment and before I can see the sun you'll have ripped it from the sky and put it farther beyond my reach.

Left to my own devices I've made the right choices and I've rarely faltered when I had the right and opportunity to fall. Tears breed misery and I've never shed anything the winds of my storm couldn't gather back to me.

All the same I'm asking now, for the first time, for you to let me be. Without condescension. Without disapproval or dismay. I'm begging you. Now. To finally let me be the person you're afraid of.

The person you should be proud of.
Liz Anne Apr 2014
I need a place
of color
like wind-whipped prayer flags
and I need
someone
who will think of me
when the skies
turn
grey. I've known familial
love and I've felt needed --at least
for what they call
my empathetic ability. Now I'm just left
thinking
what's the use
of being the spoke needed to make the wheel
turn
if I never really needed
the wheel
to get where I wanted to go.
The only thing
something round as I
needs
is a little breeze but I've been
left watching the wheel
turn
without me. I've been left
watching
breezes carry feathers
far --and much too high
to even nudge me.


                                                           ­                                       I asked
                                                           ­                                       to be a kite but
                                                             ­                                     even kites
                                                                                                  need

                                                      ­                                            the fickle breeze
Liz Anne Feb 2012
The moment after I lost it all

I fight to pretend its not a cost

I've still got the choices I made

Even if I don't think I ever knew

The right way to make them
Liz Anne Sep 2012
Castles* in the sky                                                                    
Never made much sense to me
                  People are crazy                                                                    
                    To take from the birds and give to the bees
                   I can't really be                                                                      
                            The only one wrestling with that view of eternity
Liz Anne Aug 2012
You've got a wink in your eye.
You're looking for optimism you can't describe.

Here is the world!
Your oyster!
Your opportunity to see it all!
How many hearts do you think each of us has let fall?

This is the chance you're waiting for.
The moment you swore you'd change everything.
You're hoping for happiness that isn't a disguise.

"I won't be like the others"
You told me once.
"I won't be like the ones who let it pass them by"
You were looking far away.
"I won't be like everyone stuck here"

There you go willfully wishing it all away.
Wishing for your 'Over the Rainbow' dreams

I've got a wink in my eye too.
I know someday you will waste a little hope.
Fearing you wished away love.
And you'll never be quite sure if it was mine.
Liz Anne Apr 2012
How do you do that?
-
That thing.
-
I really wish you wouldn't.
-
You know, how do you know?
-
How do you know what I'm thinking?
-
You always know.
-
I just wish you wouldn't tell me.
-
Because it makes me fall in-
-
I think that's why I might-
-
See?!
-
There you go.
-
You're doing it again.
- - -.
Liz Anne Mar 2012
Like a melody
Without the lyrics
We speak
Without the words

You know                                                                                                                          
I know more than she does                                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                      I know
                                                                                                                 You wanted a warm embrace

You know                                                                                                                        
I thought you wouldn't tell me why                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                      I know
                                                                                                                         You shook my hand but wanted more

You know                                                                                                                    
I was the first to care as much as I did                                                                                                                      

We both know
Our moment's past
Even if we didn't
See it go
Liz Anne Jul 2012
I'm not offering apologizes
         Silver eyes and long white daggers follow me
You'll have to take it as it is
         A ghost on my back I can't yet scratch
If I'm the first to leave
         Ice and pine needles make it hard to breathe
Let a new life begin
         You're living in a world where kindness isn't free
I'm not afraid of crashing
         Padded footsteps follow more than silently
Fate isn't friendly now
         Rocky ice begs to cut my palms and feet
But that's how it is
         Six and five, maybe forty more stalking me
Here's how I plan to be
         Is it really worth it to wish we'd all come clean?
If you don't like your answer
         Frozen winds call but it’s so much colder in the night
You can take it quietly
         Soft fur keeps brave hearts warm if incomplete
And leave me to the wolves
         They'll find me yet but I won't run from casualty
I hear they are content
         I too have claws that make me weak
To welcome one like me
Liz Anne Nov 2011
All the things I could search for
All the things I could say

Is there anything left unsaid?

Is it all really necessary?

Is it all really worth it
To say and to spout
As is a mouth forced to obey?

Can’t anyone find me
A few words
Someone has yet
To say?
Liz Anne May 2014
How many tombs have seen the hands of robbers
felt the soot and scar of their steps
and how many birds were lost from the sky
because of fear and cynicism
I wouldn't ask to be an ancient princess
or a wren with wings enough to fly
there's already too many of my own indiscretions
I've forgotten how to hold dear
Egyptian rings and headdresses made hollow
birds are meant to fly so what
do you call a feathered wren who can't help
that he'd rather instead watch clouds pass
from the dusty undergrowth?
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