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Liz Anne Jan 2014
I
I feel like my toes
are walking along sandpaper and as they
wear on and on
it's that much more difficult to tell
if I'm building callouses
or growing
tender

II
I haven't found
the slant of light I've been searching for
but I must say
the way I see when the sun
cuts my gaze at dusk
must be close
enough

III*
I'm chasing something
either inches or miles beyond my grasp
all I know is
when I'm turning circles dreams
look an awful lot
like my own
tail
Liz Anne Jan 2014
She grew soft flowers,
back when her hands were small,
with narrow stems and crisp scalloped petals.
She grew them without dirt
or water, holding them so
carefully
it was as if she was feeding them
air. She found in them
beauty, she found
in them hope, as much as
all the quiet things she most wanted to be. But
no one told her and she learned
quickly
what no one would say. As the years went
by the stems grew meek
and the once bright
petals began to steadily fade.
She knew no better, no other, way.
It came like a blow to her gut when she
was finally forced to say
her flowers were paper.
Not meant to last. Not meant to stay.
Not meant to be anything but a
momentary breeze. They did not tell her
beauty is destined to pass. They
wouldn't say not everyone is wise
enough to take
the hope they're given and
run.
She decided then
what she would not be. Not flowers
of tissue with pipe cleaner leaves but something
far distant from these false
house plants. She would seize hope
and with it she'd run, until
she grew branches and roots meant to be torn loose.
Be they paper or petals, she could
no longer grow flowers, but at least,
what she discovered in her now
tumbleweed garden is that at least you can
see a tumbleweed take
to the breeze before its last
breath of shame and regret. After all
sometimes hope for a future beyond, is all you get.
Liz Anne Jan 2014
Skin like rubber
thick and tough
but soft and prone to
wounds
of the irreparable kind
hard to love
and harder still to keep
I am the still waters of
a deeply churning sea
follow me
down to ships wrecked
if you care to look
find a gentle
gaze
for so many quietly blind
thoughts have never
seen
their way up and through
my rubber lips
Liz Anne Jan 2014
Bleak waters wink from below
Reminding me how little I know
Of how deep I have to fall
I'm looking for lightening
And realizing I don't mind
The absence of a gentle sun
My bow dives but the stern holds
Even in the ocean spray I feel
Feel my own salty fear
I promise I'm not sinking yet
I'm only flirting with a sense of falling
Even as tempest-torn seas threaten
Waves strong enough to tempt me
To stop fighting back
And let me be overcome
By a mystery so beautifully beyond me
Liz Anne Jan 2014
Orange blossoms on candy apple trees; nonsense never mattered much to me. Do you feel snakes in your toes like a curse on your modesty? Speak up and out! I doubt you realize how different those two things can be. "Shake dreams from your hair, my pretty child" and forgive me now for dawn is the least of all I've wasted. I don't much care if you mind that I'll be growing figs where you always hoped I'd plant pine trees. Then I suppose if you really did feel the same curse that I have, our torn-rooted feet would have hissed and begged for a bit more thistle and violets instead. Do not mistake pointed words for silence; I know hope and color beyond reason. I miss mud in my hands and the blades of broken grass lying flush with the skin of my ankles. Loneliness is a lack of wind but bitterness is wind-blown grit in my teeth; I will never say I do not love them both. It's easy to miss the burn of coastal sun and forget the feel of sand under your fingernails. I have fought when it was not asked of me and I have been calm when I should have thrown a punch. Still you ask sharp pine of me when all I hope to grow is the soft wide leaves of fig trees. Don't look for anything but nonsense, because after the orange blossoms wilt I will caress tender leaves and watch blue Cuckoo birds carry away my ill-planted figs.
Liz Anne Jan 2014
Would you
lend me the last few
dregs
of your aging green
tea? And would you
mind if all I
kept
was their taste on my
tongue? If you want them
back
I've got their memory
but kiss me
fast.
This dusky memory won't
last.
Liz Anne Dec 2013
Lovers
become leavers and
leavers' love
is the strongest I've come to know
you who would ask me my
secrets
but not take care to see
why
they were kept
did you follow my fingertips across your skin
they were
graceful
when I had no other grace to offer you
you
who asked to know me when my smeared painted
lips whispered
that love and understanding are
far
too often separated by knowledge of the secrets you
in your only
naivety sought
to know.
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