Tears on my steering wheel
.
I swore I'd never look back
.
This is moving faster than
.
I ever wanted it to
.
I can't see out the windshield
.
And I haven't the courage
.
To let the thunder come
.
Because of you even now I know
.
My bumper's starting to drag
.
But please don't listen to me
.
When out of injured pride I say
.
Just to spite the memory of you
.
Lightening will come my way
.
And I'll smile even as I say
.
Maybe I'll see you around
.
Yes, I'll find you one fine day

My thoughts are fleeting but a worm, in all his earthly glory writhes, on occasion in my darkest depths.

Mostly hidden fodder for flight, he makes me believe the fault is mine.

He’s been there a millennia longer than my heart had courage to know.

The fissures that burst through my mind don’t throb; they come and pass, quick and jagged glass.

The flick of a tail and the bruises of silent moments become unforeseen holes in my rapier’s aim.

Slashing, swinging, gasping, grasping, before tumbling into transient loss.

And every so often my fonder thoughts fall in too, dragging them down.

Each time the little drop pulls me down, I feel him, I feel that once lifeless worm cry out: *“Doubt!”

Convincing myself
I’m not about to drown
When I feel the waves in my lungs

I’m fighting to fly and I know I’m not falling
But still I cling to paths unnamed

I haven’t found the strength
To admit to the ghosts that memories must fade

Swimming and soaring
And all I want is to let the current
Tear and scare me away

Is there a net at the end of the gentle stream?
Or just whirlwinds of lingering green?

It’s not alright,
It’s not the path I wished I’d chosen
But I bet I’ll find my way
Back someday

Every fracture I gave
Was for the floundering fish
I leave behind
I won’t see them all again

Tides cut and tides bind
Waters tumble and some fish fly
If you don’t make it
A piece of me just might die

Where I’m going I can’t see the sea
Where I’m going
You can’t come with me

For you I jumped my lifeboat
I found happiness
In helping you to safe shores

It’s my turn now
I can’t be your buoy anymore
You wouldn’t reach for me anyway

And all the while
I wish you’d fly
I wish you’d smile
I wish you’d understand
If you fall
So will I

**~

Laughing
When I
Should be
Crying

                     I've never
                     Been lonely
                     When I'm
                     Alone

                                          You're not here
                                          When I most
                                          Need you to be

                                                             ­  It was a lie
                                                             ­  When I said
                                                            ­   I always tell
                                                            ­   The truth

Crying
When I
Should be
Laughing

                     I've never
                     Been alone
                     When I'm
                     Lonely

                                          You're still here
                                          When I don't
                                          Need you to be

                                                             ­  It was the truth
                                                           ­    When I said
                                                            ­   I always tell
                                                            ­   Lies

These are
The little things
That never hurt

Until they
Become the
Only things
That do

He never lied to her.
. . . . .
And that is a shame.
. . . .
Because now every time.
. . .
He knows she'll say his name.
. .
With that small and subtle break.
.
That he took so much care not to make.