the other day i told you
that i love the smell of fresh laundry
warm to the touch,
it smells like home.
i said i loved gilmore girls
because watching it made me feel at home.
i never realized how desperately i cling
to the comforting feeling of being home.
my face fills with the same familiar warmth
when i sit too close to you on the bus
or lean on you at the game.
you feel like home
i never want to lose that feeling.

it’s almost silly
how perfect this is.
when i’m too sensitive
you’re logical and empathetic.
when i plan a perfect future
you tell me that it might not happen that way
and that that’s okay.
you want to be a leader
with intelligent advisors helping you along the way;
i would much rather help someone achieve great things than have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
when i’m distracted
you pull my focus back in.
when i’m discouraged
you tell me how it will all work out.
when i’m sad
you beg for me to confide in you.
when you convince yourself that you’re right
i offer a different perspective.
i haven’t seen home alone
and you haven’t seen mamma mia.
you’re a jfk
and i’m a jackie.

you tell me not to plan my future
that i shouldn’t stress myself out over something i can’t control.
you tell me to make my own decisions
instead of trying to please everyone.
you provide much needed reality checks
when my dreams become too wild
or my fears too large.
i am so thankful you’re in my life.

i hope you never give it back-
it’s childish, i know.
but i want to see you
wear my hair tie on your wrist.
i want people to ask you
whose it is
and i want you to tell them.
i want it to be your favorite accidental gift
that you’ve ever received.
so no, you don’t have to give it back.

i feel so helpless
like i’m drowning in a lake
trying to call out for help
but making no sound.
i’m waiting for you to save me
instead of learning how to swim.

i miss the way i used to write:
how the words sprung from my fingertips
and painted beautiful images,
inspired emotions,
personified feelings.

i’m so used
to instant attraction
that i overlooked you
for years.
now i look back
and can’t believe i missed all the signs