i've always loved like a dog,

running my trembling fingers through your long hair,

brittle with cold, sinking deep into bone, using you to warm me up.

I can tell there's nothing left for you here.

your days are done, you're rejected by all,

yet i still cling to your sonnets, your woes,

akin to a freezing sick puppy, teething softly

i gnash and rip at any affection i see, infiltrating your bone marrow,

scratching at your vocal cords –

I'm a submissive being, the gold star woman,

don't you feel like you've finally succeeded?

you have already caged me, your work is done,

you're a living apricity, an aphrodite mid collapse —

yet i always spill too soon

your skin is as soft as a thorned rose, illusory alabaster

your crimson blood is all i feel, all i take in,

there's nothing more than you that matters anymore, no matter what you are

how you act

how you inflict —

but i'll wag my tail, show you my teeth, call you my darling —  give you my love

ill roll to my stomach, the obedient girl i am –

brand your name into it – darling.

make me bleed, make me weep,

im just your kenneled pup

who will always settle for less

je t’aime d’une douleur infinie,

i've always loved like a dog

i am a being made of love.
my tears are crisp, my body stings, i do not believe i was made from love.

yet i am so full, ready to spill — onto whoever unsuspecting, for i am besotted.

love is selfish, sought out by the most lonely just to self-soothe, yet i am part of this category.

sing an aubade, give me a jayus, and i will cling to your leg, scratch and refuse to let go.

i am filled with fervency, as a cruel parasitic proof of my humanity.
you have created my laceration, one i’ll forever bear.

are my tears pretty? is my suffering admirable? does this make me lovable now? is your ardor all consuming?

the flesh and blood that covers your feminine form is just a stinging allure of you as a being, i don’t have the need to feed on anything else —

just the plasma that makes you.

i am a girl who is lachrymose, restless and anhedonic, is this what you wanted? you’re just a sadist.

i am fine —
i am free —

but i will spill

onto the bed you have pushed me off of.
for i am pathetic

Je t’aime à mourir,
i am a being made of love.

i ravage and tear at the love you give
my euphoria, autocratic
your lungs, your heart your liver your womb —
all exhumed by my hands.
fingers sharp, blistered and stained
untrimmed. revolting.
unhuman beside you – a seraphic.
i will spare you no metanoia
i eat
chew,
gnaw
spit
praise me, my love — let me unlace you
trace me like the rim of a chalice
let your rapture take over
for you're nothing but my meal.
don't be repulsed by my caprice,
my clysmic unmaking;
I am fueled only by your spite – your mind
I show my affection with torn nails, collapsed lungs
you have created me,
your desecrated image of yourself
an amen to your personal ruin,
don't you love this? i know you crave your own undoing
your rot and your pain
im a creature of opulence
Bénis-moi, mère, car j’ai dévoré,
et je ne suis jamais rassasiée
i have granted you your own resurrection —
this is your own invocation
i graze your flesh — my devotion becomes our ruin
i now savor you in revulsion
i despise you