Everybody wants to hear the words
No one wants to face or feel the hurt
You've never said "I love you" I can't even remember if you've ever expressed what I meant to you.

For days and weeks you became my ghost, I longed for you to haunt me
I was burned out and weak.

...Still I stayed. I don't know why I stayed. I knew that I loved you, but what about me? What about everything we could have been?

I was there, planted like a tree...while you were somewhere out there being ok without me.

But, my baby... How does one turn love to hate, for the longest time I'll wait...
I'm here and maybe it'll be forever... I'll stay.

S.B

Before she knew you, she was afraid to love you...so she told you.
Before she kissed you...she was afraid of making love to you.

Hesitant with your approach because she forgets nothing, a woman who feels deeply, loves deeply and fragile emotionally...so you chose your words carefully.

She was dying without you knowing, guilt eating you out from the inside. A fighter she was until there were no more fights, because they were dying...bathing in ashes.

Before she touched you, she felt you...knowing that you too were fragile.
:Before she yell, she would hold you closely...illuminating your mind.

Years passed and she stood by you, cared for you and loved you...selflessly, unselfishly, endlessly. She was on a limb...but you never knew, she never told you.

That woman who did it all is only human, she aches, she cries, she smiles...even when she is broken inside.

Looking on her wrinkled, faded skin, fingers that could not deny her age...seemed unnatural but she had walked the roads with you, fight the fights with you, children that bloomed with the images of two.

Before she died...she cried, held you everso tight, hoping to make it through the night.
:Before she died...she was afraid to close her eyes, but you were there by her side. She looked at you with compassion in her eyes, nothing else she could do.

Before she died...she reminded you of her words... I LOVE YOU*

S.B

You must be so cold.
Here...you can take my jacket
How selfless I am, It doesn't matter
as long as your ok.
Please, don't take my love for you as
a weakness and manipulate it...
I've never loved this hard and now
I don't know what to do with it.

...So I gave it all to you in the blink of an eye and now empty am I?
Was it all premeditated, why did you
break me into little pieces, what did
I ever do to you. Someday it will dawn on me but for now I'd love to hate you.

Was it the sense of security that locked me in...or was it just... You.
Now I know all the rainbows and that happy ending doesn't really exist, and that's just the cold truth. You tarnish a heart so bad that It would love to hate you.

Making me a whole all by myself... It will take time... I just hope I don't lose it if I should ever see you with someone else. This heart is not in the parts of two...for a moment, just for a moment I lost myself searching for you.

Now hell has no fury, just pray I don't ever hate you.

S.B

I want to feel burning flames when you say my name...I want to feel passion flow into my bones, like blood through my veins

                        -Jessie Ware

I can't believe all this time, I thought I brought joy to you.
It is at our darkest hour we spill out how we truly feel, and how you truly feel pains my heart.

I love you, and I love you so much...why do you think I think the worst of you. How can you say all I do is belittle you.

I can't believe this is how you truly feel.

If i bring you so much agony, so much pain then why do you force yourself to stay? Why do you laugh with me? Make love to me?

If this is how you truly feel.

Your words tore through my skin like a depressed child slitting knives through sheets, I yell I scream just by the things you thought of me.

I'm trapped in my thoughts, drowning in disbelief. How can you say those things about me.

I don't believe we deserve an us of this is how you truly feels.

If the whole world hasn't felt it...the shaking earth beneath our feet.
If there is someone out there who hasn't seen it, fire dragons lightening up the air. I know how it feels to be chewed up and spat out, Yea, I know how it feels to have a knife logged into the heart, ripping through everything that was of me.

I've walked with the living dead...and slowly I'm going under. Blue skies turned grey by the sound of your name, the sound of bells, sweet songs to carry me to the grave...because I love the trauma and how my heart breaks.

I wish I could go back to the day I was pure, before I opened the door and invite you In as you feast on my soul. I was so happy, surrounded by the solitude of light... and there you were in the shadows waiting for me to close my eyes as you snatched my purity and had me embedded without putting up a fight.

When did my heart became so cold...I remember when I use to cry...now I just sat there and think of brutal ways of how to inflict pain because forever the savages shall reign, tonight I've decided that I will be going under...just to show you hell, and from that, strength I will gain.

S.B

I'm grown, so very grown, way too grown, for all of this.
I'd love to believe I'm smart, maybe a bit too smart for my own good, how pathetic.

Why am I still burdening myself, why am I so stubborn. I wish I could send for a space ship and share my thoughts with aliens, because I get so tired of humans.

He said I'm too emotional, maybe way too emotional indeed, because right now I'm way too numb to feel. But here it comes again.

I don't know what am I. Born to let them fall in love and then shurgs... I chase them away.

I am so very tired, tired of the same old LIES, same old CRYS, same old ROUTINE, same old LOVE, same old BETRAYAL and the same old PAIN.

Nobody knows it but me and that's what scares me, I might die in my sleep tonight of anxiety or heart attack.
Alone with the mysteries of why and what went wrong.

...but if I should never wake up, it's ok. I wont have to worry about feeling again, crying again, hurting again...well, maybe. Maybe I'll be lurking in the shadows of you, sleeplessly with no peace.

When it's all said and done...I'm just too numb to feel