They say it takes 66 days to form a habit
And anywhere from 18 to 254 to break it

I'm on day 20
And in my head I still call you honey

The world hasn't stopped spinning
And they tell me I'm still winning

Yet my inbox stays empty
While my anxiety is plenty

Maybe I'm just pathetic
While my friends call me neurotic

You can't teach an old dog a new trick
Though at seventeen most lesson stick

Wish
upon a falling star
Wish
on the headlights of each passing car
Wish on the people you know you can believe
Wish on the seasons and the memories you grieve

Wish on your faith that peace will arrive
Wish on the roads on that late night drive

And I wish that I was sitting next to you
wondering what we should do
so I wish at 11:11
and on the moments you introduced me to heaven

I want to be the ghost
That haunts your every move
Each car that passes too quickly
Every song thats meant to soothe
Reminding you of the way I sang it when we drove for ten hours straight like we were gods

I want to be the apparition
In the corner of your eye
The laugh on the other side of the room
Who you want to comfort you each time you cry
Thats always out of grasp just like breath was over spring break when all we could speak was in nods

I want to be the hallucination
Every time you go to sleep
In the same way you haunt every day and night I'm awake
I want you to tiptoe around your memories the way I creep
But really I just want to know you hurt the way I do, even though in the end it was my fault you no longer respond

A cracked screen protector
But only around the edges
Slowly wearing away towards the middle
A life hanging off the ledges

Two layers, two ways to be easily repaired
The broken glass peels away at your fingers
Lines that run through the images
The thought to replace barely lingers

Is it selfish
That I miss your secrets, your loudness
The way I knew everything
Or I thought I did

Is it selfish
That I miss being the one, you turned to when a mess
Laughing the loudest with
Because there was nothing we hid

Is it selfish
That I miss every **** thing, every habit
Each small moment
Like we were all eachother had

Is it selfish
That I miss calling you mine, the only one who could have it
A world as perfect as you
Even though in the end I made you sad

I'm trying hard not to play the creepy stalker ex-girlfriend
I'm trying hard to realize this is the end
I'm trying hard I promise mom and dad
I'm trying hard not to make you both sad
I'm trying hard to maintain my 4.0
I'm trying hard to just let it all go
I'm trying hard not to worry my old pals
I'm trying hard not be one of those gals
I'm trying hard to reach out again
I'm trying hard to keep it all in one vein
I'm trying hard I'm trying I really am

In the limited experience
The teenage mind exhibits
A Greek tragedy arises
With no will nor thought left to prohibit it
From following the fall

To be loved by all those around
Yet so utterly alone, is this fault owned?
Have the stars behind our eyes
Been blinded instead of honed
Coming home on your knees you crawl

To be loved to be loved to be loved
To pine to pine to pine
Tempting fate or maybe raging hormones
Listening to Arctic Monkeys at one because we're fine
With this unknown wall