I woke up on the wrong side of the bed,
Thinking to my self
That falling off of it was much better;
I picked myself up
And threw myself back into the bumping walls of life,
Thinking to myself
That not picking myself up was much better;
I opened my eyes to a father’s concerned eyes,
Which reminded me of how wrong things are going,
His vocals in twine with the air he’s blowing
Shattered the rhythm of a morning
And scratched the record of a sunshine to give a beat
In the back of my head
Heading towards the doors of my anxiousness,
Opening the gates
For yet more things to wait,
Like the sat scores that never come
And for the first time I actually want them to…
Thinking to myself
That bumping into the vigorous walls of life was much better;
I walked down the street,
Tapping my feet to the concrete
Figuring out that the solids of our creations
Belong to the solitudes of our nature,
And creatively I wrote it on the back of my hand
For there are alotta things that I wanna write
But I just forgot how to,
Alotta things to fight for
But I can’t seem to figure out where to start;
And I am falling,
I am falling through the new beginnings
That open up a door of ambiguous smiles,
Walks down iles
Of a mind that spaced out for a while;
Cups of warm coffee with just enough water in them,
Pens that wrote poetry
That had just enough imagery in them,
Women that wore beauty
With just enough humbleness in them;
And I hold on to those thoughts
And I keep holding on to the invisible waves of hope
That keep crashing my sunrises,
And crushing my heart,
And crucifying my objectives,
And circumstancing my dreams,
And crunching the little crumbles of unattended paper
That I once wrote on,
The poetry that I can no more write
Because I stopped feeling
So I should go back to learning how to;
But loud enough as I speak
My feelings stay silent
Vibrating through my veins just to make sure that they still exist
But she made sure they ceased to
And they did
And they did.
Thinking to myself
That listening to the manly morning voice of my father
Was a lot better;
Shape shifting from thoughts to spots
And corners that burn
With the acid memories that turn
Round the tables and square the chairs;
The cigarette buds that now exist
On a once so holly place
Mock my words
And word my mockery,
Reminding me of how wrong things are going;
Reminding me to stop
Because I am running out of breath;
I am trying to lift the weight of the world
And the weight of my figure
And figure out the depth of her soul
Aligned with the depth of her eye liner
Now fully covering the beauty in her eyes
Because that’s how she runs from the world,
Jumping over social obstacles
And exes exiting her doors from the walls,
So every time someone walks out of her life
She has to renovate the bulwarks of her heart,
Skipping through side conversations
Because causality is fatal;
As I skip through the words jumping over stanzas,
The poem that wrote itself
Wrote itself-
And I shall let it be,
For if it wasn’t personal enough for you
It ispersonal for me,
And if you couldn’t find a savior in my words
An enchantment in my lines
Then maybe poetry wasn’t made for me to save you;
Maybe it was made to wake you up
And maybe I could wake up as well
And this time on the right side of the bed,
For the sheets are strangling my neck
And the woodwork is creaking
So as I tried to fix it
A voice in the background booms
Like the sound system of a teenager
Saying
“This cannot be fixed my friend
This can only be enjoyed”