sensitive is the subject,
when we talk about the moments i could've died.
the moments i wouldn't have spent
next to your side.

you would not have been my
safe haven.
i would never know what it feels like to be burned by your touch
and forever marked by the love you have shown.

i would never understand how to love you even when things get hard.
you would have only remembered me as the shy girl you liked that never said much.

i am so glad
that you have hurt me and loved me
and brought me two years of
indescribable love.

two years of some of the worst pain
and the greatest joy.
they have all been worth it
and i'm glad God gave me a reason to live.
i'm glad you were the reason
i am still here.
even if i didn't know it yet.

The bolt of lightening  touches the ground,
gently
quickly
sewing the world together again
with its static thread and mechanistic jut from the skies.

i think mother nature is trying to hold her pieces together,
even when everyone knows she's falling apart.

i must confess,
i have never been very good at sewing.
but i will ***** my fingers
over and over
trying to fix you.

you're only in north dakota.
and i am slowly slipping into the harsh shadows this sunshiny state creates.
help me. help me.
you're the electric pads in the hospital
that shock me back to life in moments of drought.
kiss me, shock me,
make me feel more alive.
i am disappearing, fading
without you here.
i need you, help me
i'm fading so quickly and i'm so afraid
to be nothing again.

the rain taps on the window
slowly and then frantically.
as if to say, "don't give up on me too,
i'm right out here for you."

i think people are like rain.
we are frantically trying to make
everything and anything work.

i don't think we care enough about other people as we should.
i feel like we care too much about what we're doing for the moment
that we don't realize the pain
we're causing others with this kind of neglect.

my whole life, everyone has hurt me
and forgotten me.
i'm beginning to think nobody is different.

i think that time matters.
that we all need to find someone
who will give us all the time we give them.

i'm tired of giving my love and time
to people who throw it away
and don't even give you the time of day that you gave them.

it leaves you feeling utterly alone.
it's the type of hurt
that will change the person you are.

one day, i'm not going to give my heart out.
one day, you're going to wish you hadn't left me alone.
one day, you'll end up being the one who feels neglected.

i hope
one day,
that your heart will be my home
and i will never have to go searching for it again.