Fat
Ugly
Weak

Those are the things
I don't want to be

Beautiful
Fit
Strong

Those are all the things
Girls are in the songs

Worthless
Insecure

I can't figure out
What for
I don't know how much more
Of this I can take

I want to be
Beautiful
Like the girls in magazines
But how much is it worth
If they only get hurt

I start to slowly float away
I don't know what belongs to
Today
Yesterday
Or
Tomorrow

So why do I feel this
Sorrow?

i am a lost girl
the kind who will let you stare
into her ocean eyes for free
and swallow your compliments
profoundly eagerly
while always knowing
all nourishment is temporary

i am a lost girl
the kind who has sorrow burned on the inside
of her mouth
nothing can take the taste away
not even love not even people
who said they would stay
because she knows more than anyone
that they never do

i am a lost girl
the kind whose passion will tug on your heartstrings
so hard you will be able to feel
the vibrations throughout your entire body
long after she has left you
covered in kisses and invisible bows
stranded on an abandoned
railroad pleading
for release

i am a lost girl
the kind that knows what she wants
but does not have enough drive or self esteem
to keep  a solid grasp
for certainty has always been like sand
slowly slipping through her fingers

i am a lost girl
the kind that will settle on what little power
she has left
the kind that will sing you to sleep
if in turn you will tell her
just once
that she is beautiful regardless
of if you mean it
or not.

i'll be the toxin
if you wear me on your skin
if you feel me in your veins i'm working
my way
into your heart
across your lungs
and take the blood from bone
let me be the toxin
and you'll never feel alone
but i'll leave you
barren
bony
cold
and dry
just the way i like it
just the way you died

how lucky am I
to have loved so deeply
that in losing it
I lost myself

how lucky am I
to have felt lies so truly
that I believed
I found myself

my darling
you have
the most beautiful eyes

how i’d love
to pluck them
from out your fairest skull

and swallow them whole
so you can see
my inner demons

and i can taste
your tears
inside of me