They always said it like it was a sin and I never believed them
I hand picked you out of a sea of people
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I could see your eyes
So clearly from miles away and I wanted nothing more than to touch them
I knew the Queen of Hearts could never fall for a simple joker
But for better or for worse you took my hand and you followed me
What you never knew was how I stacked the deck
I never deserved a second of your time and I think we both knew it
But you never took your eyes off mine and my hands worked quickly
You can only pull the rabbit out of the hat so many times before you lose your charm
And everyone always forgets that the vanishing act is last
They always said it like it was a sin to mix pleasure and business
But I never believed them and now you’re gone

I put a lighthouse in the window in hopes that you were coming home
But we don’t even share the same shoreline
These storms have never been good to me
And I made too many promises to keep my life in my own hands
I’m afraid these legs are far too weak to ever stand in a courtroom
And the angels lost interest in me a long time ago
All I can do is fend them off with broken wrists
I was never frail until I gave you everything I had
But now I’m tired of the guillotine smiles
And every embrace that feels like a noose
Waking up in a deathbed feels unnerving at first
I guess its better than shivering on the floor
The real horror comes later when you start to feel comfortable
*~W.C.

I had a dream that I lost my job not too long ago
The subject matter itself isn’t what bothered me
More like the fact that it felt like a kick in the teeth in my sleep
A reminder that I can’t seem to stop misplacing things
I’m just so tired of thinking I know where my love and trust should be placed
Only for things to be turned around on me and somehow I’m always left
Wondering where it was that I left my glasses and hoping that after a second look it might make more sense
They always reveal themselves as devourers sooner or later
Hungry for whatever I have to give consuming time they have no purpose for
I told you too many times how I feel useless and helpless to the fact that I’m losing
And this is how you comfort me by taking more until I’ve grown pale and numb
So I’m lost and wandering again I want to say I’m hoping for something but I’ve done this a few too many times
Hope starts to feel like a cheat there is no relationship there just a few meaningless nights when she gets lonely
I probably misplaced my path too and I’m trying to find it I’m trying to hear you telling me where I’m supposed to be
There’s too many echos and it’s hard to tell if it’s saying you deserved this or something entirely different
On top of that I’m starting to care less about if it makes a difference anyway
If I had the choice to run away from everything I’m sure I would
And somehow I think you would find me there
Lost and trying to find everything I’ve misplaced
~W.C.

I wish I could still be thankful for the way the leaves fall off her trees in the colder months
I wish I could still be thankful for the way her rain falls on my skin
And the way her feet trace the ground in soft circles
I wish I could still be thankful for her cloud cover
And the sound of the lock turning on her bedroom door
I can't tell you how much I miss the sun she kept
Hidden behind her teeth that she swore shone just for me
I wish I could still be thankful for our slow dances in the kitchen
When we had time to ourselves and the moon peeked through the windows
Nothing will ever compare to the surrender you gave to me
And I'm so sorry I burned your white flag from five states away
But I guess thats the thing about starting a wildfire
You can't strike a match and dictate the flame and words will never put an end to it
I wish I could still be thankful for you but that was such a long time ago
And I'm still struggling to move past the fence in my front yard
*~W.C.

I'm so tired I keep stumbling over my feet
Much like the words on my tongue getting caught in my teeth
But if you were to kiss me now you might understand
You have no season nothing to govern your insides
Consistency is not a law in your mind and its twisting your bones
Somehow I find myself here again covered in someone else's blood
At least thats the way that I remember it
But I guess I'll never be sure of anything when I can't trust my own perception
The corner of my eye has become your favorite haunt
But I don't mind I enjoy your silent company
I've been avoiding sleep like the plague just in case there's a reason
Supposedly there is a chance that I'm in critical condition
And if I had to guess I would say they're probably right
Its just been so long since I've seen you smile
No number of miles could carry too high a price
I just don't know what you want so I'll sit quietly and wait
The thought of pushing you away breaks my heart
In patterns you can't find in shattered glass or broken bones
I would know I've had my fair share of bad luck and frail redemption
You've contorted everything and it makes it hard to see
If only I could take your hands and whisper in your ear
Then maybe you would stop trembling
Maybe you could see far enough to see the sky
Its only so dark because its time for you to rest and tend to your wounds
My eyes may deceive me often but I don't see any clouds for miles
All I see are the stars that used to make up my favorite constellation
*~W.C.

Call me insignificant but I’ve been chasing undeveloped photographs
Down these old hallways that we used to call home when the sun didn’t look right
Locked away in closets with my heart stuck under your skin
The same old words buried under your fingernails
Sometimes I struggle to find the difference between hospital rooms and a bed for the night
And I’ve never seen the point of living by the hands of the man-made god that hangs on the wall
But the difference between then and now was that I always saw you in the dark
I traded your broken grimace for her smile and I swear to God I will never regret it
Because she speaks the same words with her mouth sewn shut
And I guess thats something you could never understand
*~W.C.

I find myself straightening out the welcome mat and making sure the door is unlocked
Dusting the stairs and changing the sheets on the bed everyday
Painting the walls fresh in dark green in hopes that it feels safe for you to come home to
I've always been told to prepare for the things I want and I swear we'll be closer one day
Tracing each others fingertips with our lips and learning the nuances of our voices woven together
We could be like oceans falling into each other and scientists can argue where we begin and end
Tie little memories you have of me to your feet like shadows that engulf the entire room at night
You can be my sun and I'll be your moon waiting to be eclipsed with you
Forgive me when I stumble over my words I just want to tell you everything
I know it will all come out too fast I hope you understand
While I will continue to shake violently I'm ok now I can live with this
The door is unlocked and I'll leave the lights on for you
You're free to come and go as you please as long as you know you can call this home
We can stay up all night holding cups of coffee just to enjoy the smell
I think I could start to associate some other feeling with it if I tried
When it starts to rain I hope this is the first place you think of even if you can't arrive just yet
Just picture those lights and know you can come inside when you're ready
*~W.C.

The skeletons of clocks will always haunt these hallways
And I can never remember anything you said to me
I suppose the problem is the rope around my neck
Never mind the fact that you’re the floor under my feet
Maybe I just hate the idea that everything I touch here could become a memorial
All for a lost soul who never learned how to properly read a map
But I think I’m just scared of my candle burning out before its lit
I’m tired of the silverware tied to my wrist and the paperclips under my fingernails
We walk on eggshells and all we ever do is **** our own young
You hurt me more than anyone and my lungs still bleed everyday
This is not on me I blame you both for it but not for the tremors in my hands
I still remember that hospital room
And the twenty seven hooks that held up the curtain
Those condescending looks stick with you
After all I’m just another stupid kid spilling his guts all over your floor
I still remember that the part that hurt the most
Was when they took all the pain away
And I think about that a lot more than I should
Maybe that says things about me that I could never tell you
There are a lot of things that I have trouble saying
And I’ve never been fond of needles
Or the bed they told me I was meant to sleep in
This is not my own creation I know I didn’t work for this
I was aiming for the church bells and all I hit was the flagpole
Can you still fall asleep without my skin these days
Do you find yourself lying in bed reaching towards the ceiling
Almost as if you could cradle the stars in your hands
Because I do and I like to think you’re doing the same
*~W.C.

Tell me about the time you realized his fingers were scissors
And he could never hold you without tearing you apart
Or about how his words are bullets that don't leave exit wounds
You'll carry this with you forever now
When did you notice that he never blinked
And I swear to God he has no idea what your face looks like
Darling
I  '  m  s  o  s  o  r  r  y  
He looked at the sky and only saw the constellations
Not the stars that made up everything you dreamed of
He looked at you and only saw your skin
Not the cells and certainly not everything that it held in place
He held you and kissed your lips and he'll never remember you
As anything more than a dark room and stained bed sheets
You meant more to me than that
But I was less to you than you were to him
So just leave me be pulling on ropes with nothing on the other end
*~W.C.

The snow is falling and all I can remember
Is you screaming at the sky imploring it to stop crying
Before you started too
The house lights start to flicker and the clocks all turn to zero
I guess that even time respects our storms
We identified ourselves as clouds it was always you and me
And I can't remember a time when either of us cried alone
I like to think that the longer we last
The more warm and honest we become
But seasons still change and everything we grew will die soon
We drift apart from time to time but somehow we never seem to get far
Always held together like magnets bending gravity
I don't think I'll ever get used to this every time the door closes
I have a panic attack because I can't hear your heart beating anymore
The blood pounding in my own ears is not enough
And I don't need a nightlight just your hand when things get too dark
*~W.C.

Please excuse me if just for a moment
It’s been awhile since I felt like I might not cough out my ribcage
But what difference would it make really if I already feel unprotected
The feeling of vulnerability is nothing new but it’s never felt so prominent
Simply the thought that everyone else knows
That things aren’t as good as I intended to make them believe
But that’s no business of theirs anyway it’s not like they’re going to help
That’s why I’ve always buried it away but now it’s getting harder to keep down
One too many times I think I’ve slipped up and lit myself up with flashing lights
I am a liability a failure a malfunctioning existence looking for a way out
How am I expected to have anything to offer when I never asked to be here
Forced together and wound tight sent off before being factory tested
This doesn’t feel like delicate finesse or experienced craftsmanship
It feels like a doomed experiment
Any scientist would be condemned to death for my creation
But I’m here and I’m trying to rearrange all these wires to see if I can make anything out of myself
I know what I am and I’m sorry for most everything I’ve ever done
But preforming surgery on yourself is more difficult than it looks
~W.C.

It's beautiful how
You move your mouth
And vibrate your vocal cords
It's beautiful how
Your lungs expand
Taking in oxygen that
Will soon flow through
Your veins
It's beautiful how
Your heart beats
In your chest with
The promise of life
How it welcomes the
Weary and empowers them
To carry on
It's beautiful how
Your brain sends
Electricity through
Your body each carrying
A wonderfully crafted thought
It's beautiful how
Your joints bend
And twist into the
Most wonderful shapes
It's beautiful how
your lips rise into
A smile and how
Your hips move while
You walk
It's beautiful how
Your eyes flutter
Like a hummingbird
From flower to flower
It's beautiful how
Your skeleton carries
Your skin and shelters
The vital organs inside
It's beautiful how
You're you
*~W.C.

I've been to all ends of the earth looking for you but you are not direction
I searched the sky for you but you are not a constellation
I looked to the sea but you are not the waves
When I searched the trees I was disappointed by your absence but you are not a bird
I looked under the ground but you are not the roots of the pines
I dissected every line I ever wrote but you are not a collection of words
When I listened to the wind I couldn't help myself and I tried to hear you but you are not a whisper
Screaming in caves creates company but you are not an echo
I gathered a crew and set sail in treacherous weather but you are not a lighthouse
I've heard the floor boards squeak and the walls moan but you are not a house
This car has carried me for ninety five thousand miles but you are not the highway
I climbed to the tops of mountains but you are not a feeling of victory
With thoughts of warmth I struck a match and lit the woods on fire but you are not heat
I stood alone in the night watching the snow fall but you are not the cold
Hundreds of hours spent in the ICU have proven I am sick but you are not the antidote
I melted thousands of renown paintings but you are not inspiration
Millions of scientific advances have been torn apart but you are not understanding
I've searched the words of prophets philosophers and teachers but you are not wisdom
They drew blood from my veins but you are not life
A psychic read my mind but you are not thought
I visited with inventors but you are not an idea
But the day she ripped my heart out of my chest I found you nestled inside safe and sound
And it dawned on me that you are my sunshine
*~W.C.