you should not have done that*

Story of my life
You call me reckless
For having defied that very person
Who comes from a high place
With powerfull friends,
For having defied that one person
Who robbs you and all of us
Off our basic human rights.
How long did it take you
Before you took one for the team
That's all I've done
And I get "reckless" thrown at my face?
It's all fine when someone takes a stand for you
But you're too scared to take a stand for another?
All I ever asked, was for you to respect that fact
That I made justice be served
While you just sat there and took it.
Who's reckless in long term?
You who never stand up for yourself
And get deeper in to depression
As time goes by
Or me who never takes anything from anyone.
While I do admit that there are better ways
To give certain messages,
I wholeheartedly disagree
With you bashing me behind my back
For having protected your rights.
Who's the ******* here?

I sat there in rapid conversations
With you as I came to realise
That I'd trust you with my life
Like many would've trusted me
With theirs.
A sting of guilt scratches
The surface of my heart
And the hypothetical question appears

what happens to you when you trust someone with your life

You feel safe?

so then would you feel braver to do as you please

I understood where the sting came from.
It's all fine and dandy to give the compliment of trust,
But then be sure to honor that protector
By staying out of trouble.

Can you honestly say
That you have felt this way before?
I asked myself
As I sat at the dinner table
With a befriended couple.
A vague recognition
Gently vibrated in my heart.
These are just some old friends.
And I feel like I'm 5 years old
And like this is a functional family.
Realizing that that's the one thing
I never had.

It was in the messages
That we sent back and forth.
It was in your immediat
Adoption in to our family.
It was in the fact that
11 years later, we both
Still remember each other's phone numbers by heart.
And somehow they're still the same.
It was in how you judged me
Yet always hovered around me
As to protect me.
You've always been a true sister to me.
It was in how we differed in our preferences.
She's always loved girl's
And I drive a stick.
It was in how you always went
For everything dangerous and illegal
And I rested assured with
Minor mischief and situation humor.
My beloved cell mate for life.
Always in the same boat
And never out of sight
Never out of heart
Never out of mind.
Always in the deepest connection
To everything that defines me
And makes me seperate of you.
Yet we have always been One.

You're just a ****** cube.
The Rubick's Cube.
I remember the frustration
That flowed through my fingers
As I tried to solve it as a child.

He explains the method
And repeats the things
The dry mechanics,
I already figured out.
The teachings fall in to place...

The center never moves
Just like in life
The fundation never moves
If one wants to change their lives
One must lose their attachment
To how things look
In their various stages of evolution.

Just like with this ******* cube.

You can't get it right
Without rearranging everything else.
You can't solve the upper layers
Without changing the lowest layer.

And you will never solve it
If you get angry.
It is not your reasoning that lacks
It is your negative emotions
That hinder you from thinking straight.

there's no logic in this!
She roars from frustration
I laugh and tell her
*if there was no logic, the blocks would not be attached to each other

You never touched me
Yet I can feel you close by
As strongly as if
You had done it many times before.
The past life regression
Takes me down the path
Of 17 challenging lifetimes
In which you were
The apple of my eye
In all your forms and tempers
Now I know we messed up
As I listen to your trembling voice
In the other side of the phone
I met you 3 years ago
Yet it's the first time I hear it
Your voice, low and hollow
As that of a man
Who has been torn and battered
And grew stronger in the wrong way.
Yet it is firm when you say

I never stopped looking at you. I just couldn't take it anymore

The pull was just as strong on this side of the ocean.
Now it will never work out
The way we imagined
And it doesn't have to.
We have always been stronger
Together than we ever were apart.
Know that I don't blame you
I say to you in the softest tone
A sigh of releaf
I know what I did
That's all I needed to know.
I've walked in your shoes
They fit me just fine.
But I hope you felt all the blisters
As you walked in mine.
I know we'll always pull through
I smile as all the Messages
Fall in their rightfull place.
I was never lied to
Not in the spiritual realms
You've fixed what you broke
I'm more whole now
Than how you've ever known me.

I'd kiss the palm of your broken hands
But that would mess you up ever more.
When you're ready, I'll be there
And you'll always be right here
In my heart.
Just not in the way we imagined.

You sat here hours ago
I watched him kiss you
With love and affection
True passion
Like a boy who
Is really trying to impress you.
You giggeled and twitched
I smoked my cigarette
He held you in his arms
You screamed as he spun you around
Showing off his strength.
Cuz he's the man!
You swore in between the giggles
kurwa
I'm just standing here
smoking away
Watching you play
Like young couples play
ugh you kids are disgusting
I muttered with a smile on my face
you made my day
Still here *** you can't go home
And too in love to part already.