"I'm sorry sweety
But you have a problem
You can't read
This is third grade
You don't even know what you read
You can't even spell

Please pick a hand
You can't write with both
This is your problem
This is the cause
Of your learning disability"

So I picked a hand
And wrote with left
Unaware of the fact
That I shared all other tasks
Between the two

So I asked for a book
For christmas and my birthday
Please give me fairy tales
And I read an hour a day
Two out loud
on the weekends

I read all about
Rapunzel and Sleeping Beauty
I read Pippi Longstocking
Cover to cover

Change of enviornment did the trick
Second year in a new country
And my lowest grade was 8,5
I read all afternoon
And wrote my heart out
I corrected past tendencies
Mistakes other kids got away with

So here's the silver lining:

You may not be the best at everything
But take the challenge anyway
I still struggle with this everyday
Each craft is a channel
For your genious

Never use the word "impossible"
You are setting limits
Where there should be none
For surely, the only thing that matters
If how much you enjoy it.

It's how you look at it...

I'm not a cleaning lady...
I'm Cinderella!

I'm not ugly
You're just not seeing my genious

I'm not crazy
My reality is just freaking awesome

I'm not fat
I'm soft

I didn't fail a well started carreer making poor choices
I learned deeper humility and service

Let me peel those layers off you
And run my tongue over you
All of you
While your hands explore me
Got a few places where
You should put them

I got your scent all over me
Intoxicating me gently
Soft moans in the dark
Or light, however you like it
There are fire flies in the sky
And hummingbirds in my stomach

A gentle pressure
I'd like you to built up
Within me
There: my innermost thighs
Something to wrap around you
Get comfortable in my skin
Linger for a while
And cause a sweet explosion

The sweeter you are
The naughtier I get
I swear honey
Nothing's too small
Nothing's too big
I'll gladly take
Whatever you got...

Off goes my alarm clock

You stood in the middle of a Cathedral
In the center of the Nave
Wondering how it was built
lovers kissing in a confessional
Light soaring in
Through the Rose Window
Filtering colors on the floor
Crafted with such care
Illustrating a witch burning
Sacré Dieu, Blasphemy!
Angels wheeping at the cruelty of man
A dream-like setting, bells chiming
Defying their purpose
Chiming ever so softly

The arches gracefully curving above you
A Saint standing in each Chapel
The echo here is beyond compare
Vast choirs caressing these walls with their voices
A white dove crosses the Choir
Landing in the North Transept
A sign of purity, the grace of God
This is my mind
And you wonder why I left the witch faceless
But how does one portray
100,000 faces?

"I'm going to have to fail you for 2-dimensional art" he says disappointed, marks a 4 in his book and moves on.

Unerasable...
The curves on body
And why is it
That your hands
Look so soft
Why do I even care?

girl... Out of your league
"Alright, I'm backing out"

Unmistakable...
The colors that glimmer
In your eyes
As the sun touches them
The crooked calm smile
don't do this to yourself

No guilt
I know I'm spot on
Let truth emerge on it's own time
For surely
It always comes out
Make no mistakes
there's nothing at stake
"It's all in my head"

No doubt should have
That head checked out
I hear whispers in the wind
And ghosts talking
A prayer and a loving mantra
The frequency
Of all Saints in heaven
The Divine, the Tao, The Source
The soft whisper of the darkness

Surely so many prophesies
Have manifested vastly
Words left my lips
Of truths I could not have known
And peace invaded my heart
As a soft voice guided me
Through the deepest meditation
Lessons on life emerged
From thin air
Putting chaos in to focus
But not this...

It just tells me to keep going
It will all make sense in time
You're not crazy
But I know better than most
That the deepest lies
Can be so rationally structured
How would I know the difference

PTSD screaming in my head

I hear the voice
The unmistakable voice
Pounding through this space
In my head I smiled
And said "Hi"
But in reality I froze
No words left my lips
Nearly walked in to you

PTSD pounding in my head

But I see nicer things in my sleep
The drowsy breathing
Of the most beautiful man
I've ever set my eyes on

frown
go away

Still no guilt, nope
I know I'm right
Just take your things
And go make life happen
But my soul still goes against me
There must be a good reason
But maybe it's really all in my head

How does one proof
Thoughts, dreams and whispers
When time stands still.
And to you my disengaged partner
Where were you doing overhours?
You know what?
I don't care, just be straight with me.
There's nothing left here anyway.

But Imma be a good girl
Even if it takes forever
No shame of cheating
On my good record of loyalty
Just wonder why
You're still here
too many attachments

Meanwhile...
There's a scent in the air
Just around the corner
On the hallway
if only you were as available
as my thoughts want you to be
I have no secrets
and everything to lose
just ask
*I'll hate it but I'll tell the truth

Your speech slurs as you open up
The door of your 4 star hotel room
Poor balance nearly betrays you
I ask you if you need help
The lights appear in your eyes
Gratitude, someone cares

You are the queen on the night
Your clothes betray you
But not because you look cheap
Only because you feel cheap
Entertainer of "some sort"
Sweet, smiling Sue

What keeps that smile on you?
Is it the Cava you start your day with?
Your virtue scattered all over your room
In the shape of golden euro cents
Ashes and empty packs on the floor
How many did you have today
How many men?

Ironically, yet in no way surprisingly
There is laughter in this room
Lust and love
Love for the money
Love of the cylindrical shape you ride
... And vast loneliness.

Do you have friends to talk to?
Or do they run away
From the rythmical slurs
That leave your perfect lips
You are not broken over your job
Just a lonely girl
About my age...
Too young to be so lost

What gave, girl?
What gave?