Here I am--
in the middle of my favorite cafe in old town.
My soft brown curls fall in front of my shoulders
and almost into my lipstick stained mug.

Here I am--
in my new sundress that shows off my hips;
I'm armed with my composition book, favorite pen,
and a genuine smile.

But there you are--
Walking up to the counter with a new Beauty,
holding her the way you used to hold me:
gentle but firm, and keeping her content.

There I go--
escaping through the smudged glass door
before you ever noticed me,
giving you a chance to stumble upon your new Serendipity.

Here I am--
Wrapped up in my blankets
Captured  within my own harrowing darkness.

Here I am--
sinking further into a reclusive state
whispering *It's just too much.

Two painters unseen,  leisurely take turns,
to change the color to one or the other,
relentless they strive, the world looks on,
but never could they succeed,
even after all these years of love's labor.

A third, the pale faced dreamy charmer,
is out of such intense competitiveness;
wanted the world only to be seen through her veil,
her goal is more artistic,casual.
An enchanting smile, none would forget,
flits across her face whenever she appears.
Her cool rays, and silver veil charms lovers' hearts.

I didn't plan for this to happen,
But Life pays no mind to my plans.

I remember the day I looked Life
In the face and said
Today will be beautiful.
A coy smile came about her
And she slowly shook her head.
Anything you say, dear;
But I have other plans instead.

That was the day my sister
Got into the car
Where she took her last breath.

But a few years have passed now,
And Life gained compassion with her age.

I sternly told Life
I will not fall in love with him
Again she smiled, but made no sound
As she silently clasped her wrinkled, feminine hands.

Look at me now.
I didn't mean for this to happen
But he's always on my mind.

Look in the mirror
And open your eyes to the
Beauty you possess.

Tell me,
Do you still look for me
Coming off the metro
Like we always used to do?
Do you wait for me
To text you first
Or say "I love you too"?
Do you still hold your breath
At 9 o'clock remembering my promise
To call before you turned blue?

Well, my darling, I do too.