theres a darkness in my skin
furrowed somewhere deep within
the place thats made when you're really young
where every song and story begun
I could never sing louder
than the yells and the shouts
the fear in my eyes
tried to blur it all out
but my armor was soft
made of light and love
so some of it
seems to of
snuck in
still fighting now
but my army has grown
imagination and life
now stand by my side
and Im no longer alone
and I never will be
ever
so I fight this divide
one foot on each side
but the enemies are advancing
and I cant keep dancing
on two different stages
Im no longer turning
but burning
the pages
of a story that was never mine
expectations in fragments and phrases
go up in the smoke
but this time as they poke
my armor
I smile, slowly
and blow them away
til
there
                 g o n e

The music was so loud that night
And it overwhelmed all of our senses
Minds unable to think
And hearts unable to feel
Anything but what the music was
Telling us to experience
Together

The pain in his voice
Calling us back to
His memories and life
Tales of heartbreak and horror
Triumph and love
We are no longer ourselves
And it is good

Escaping from our bodies
Entering another's reality
So much less painful
Than our own battles
It keeps us sane
Gives us strength
Allows us to carry on living, for another dawn

Some things can't be forced,
No matter how hard you try;
And some things can't be forced
With no real reason why.

Dumb luck first put us together,
And I tried to keep us apart;
But you pushed me, made luck prevail.
Now I hold my bleeding heart.

I wasn't what you really wanted;
You weren't my cup of tea.
So please shut the door behind you,
Just go and let me be.

devolve
whats it all been for?
frost creeps in
light no more
the warmth that paints your rosy cheeks
is just as fleeting
as a naivete  blush
upon the cheek of a smitten girl
will the blue frills matter
as they burn in flames?
will the lace underlay flatter
your decaying face?
will reality reveal itself to you
on your dying day?
Or will you destroy the clock tower
before it tells you
that your time is up

a touch a rush flames up my spine engulf and entwine
the fire in his eyes
burns holes through my consciousness, leaving marks where there should have been
space
and now Ive got so much to think about, too much to bring about
freedom.. but the harder I think
the more I hallucinate, thoughts run rampant
cant tell whats real or fake
locked in subliminal utter confusion
bang my fists to break free but only find bruises
all over my body
trapped inside
this skin

Expectant eyes
what do you want from me
I've tried over time
but it doesn't seem to quite work for me
you ask me whats wrong
and if I'm okay
in your tones of perky happiness
that fade in, fade out, fade away
and when I don't comply
to your unmistakable false pretense
its tense
and it bends
just about everything out of proportion
the extortion that goes on here
is too much for a youthful mind to handle
under the influence
of wise ears
and eyes
that shine
when I'm away from the barter
of privacy for invasion
at the top of the tower
rappelling my way over
the edge
this descent is slow
but with each slack in the rope
I feel lighter
you pull that rope tighter
like the smiles on your
faces
they don't fool me
there just as out of place as
the empty wine glasses behind the couch
and the candy wrappers tucked into
the fitness magazine
everyone has something
they try to seem
to be
which is fine
but I draw the line
for who I am
and If it takes cutting the rope
to be set free
so be
it