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Lilith Avenue Jun 2014
i am a warrior -
nothing more than
a pawn on a chess board
and all they do is stare
they stare and laugh
but once i cross the field
i crown myself queen

but i know once i look back
i will fall for the king
my victories nothing but wasted
#eh
Lilith Avenue Jun 2014
they say distance
makes a heart grow fonder
or more forgetful
and when i lived no more
than a mile away
he forced himself to forget
the very essence of my existence
so in return i put twenty-two
hundred miles in between us
and i've never spent more time
wondering if the absence
would ever make him
ever so slightly indulgent
in any memory of me
Lilith Avenue May 2014
he was my favorite song
set on repeat
played over and over
until I embedded every word
into my mind
and no matter how long
or how frequently I heard it
it’s as if it were the first time.

good morning
I love you
hello beautiful
I miss you
good night

until the day came when
I could no longer play
the track without that
404 message indicating
his location has been moved
asking me if I could locate him again-
I had no idea how to reply
eh.

at first i was gonna call this broken records
Lilith Avenue Apr 2014
the first time i tried this,
the page was scattered with
poorly doodled stars
for thoughts i could just
barely fathom in my mind.
a new plot for every thought
that crossed my consciousness
until the paper brimmed with
points that i couldn’t connect
one another to. but you of
all people should understand
that constellations are hard
to create.

how long did it take to find
the perfect combination of
twenty six letters that feel
like silk between my teeth
as i read the text out loud?
how many times did you lull
over each word with thesaurus
to your right, making sure
each word was caramelized
to perfection? watching carefully
for the perfect shades
of amber and rust.

the sweetness of the sunshine
yellow you feed us for hope,
and the dark rich mahogany
that turned bitter everything
that was ever sweet.
when we went looking for
the great land we found
nothing but white tulips
like an apology for not
being something greater
because life is filled with
nothing more than love,
death, adventure and a little
something in between.

and i never knew how love
even worked because
from the outside looking in
it is like the impact of
a truck coming at full speed.
it was going to happen
and it happened, there’s no
in between when honestly
nothing compares to it better
than the hardships of falling
asleep ( though the task proves
harder for insomniacs ).
from the inside you only know
only that it has happened because
love is an unseasoned thing
with a sweet aftertaste.

but this is just a side effect.
this is just the ying to the yang.
i grew up knowing too well that
everything had it’s advocate.
because time’s a **** and she
doesn’t wait on anyone, closing
the gates for anyone who
didn’t have enough to pay
the price to live in the numbered
days. But as days drag on
we find infinities within
our numbered days, the antipode
of time we call hope.

I never knew much about
the world until I started reading
almost forgetting that stories
aren't always about heroes
but people who wish no more
than to seek a great perhaps.
i base this off of things i've read from stories from one particular author
Lilith Avenue Apr 2014
how can i be in
love with a boy who never
made me feel nervous?
eh
Lilith Avenue Mar 2014
i hope to find  the guy that can
take my breath away
before he leans in
to steal a kiss

i know that in the moment
before his lips touch mine
i'll be etching his name
into my heart
they say you should never look for love
but let it find you instead...
i feel like im waiting for something that will never happen
Lilith Avenue Mar 2014
re·li·gion /riˈlijən/  noun
1. the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. a personal God or gods.*


i grew up with no god or religion
never have i meet someone
that wanted to shove a belief
down my throat like hot iron
and told me if i believed
i would be saved

i spent life boundless
by your gods
but found myself roped
dragged in by this undocumented
goddless belief of true love
and soul mates

i spend my days praying
to this undisclosed nonbeing
hoping that one day i will find
this thing they call true love
that will sooth this heartache
i read too many romance novels
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