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shakila Sep 2016
heads in the clouds but body with you
definitely got me mixed up this time around

second chances often disappoint but
people change all the time
right?

forget what i said earlier about people changing
you've gone and left just like you always did
not sure why
it's you, not me

maybe third time is the charm
shakila May 2014
My first promise to you is this
I promise I never cared
The reason I stayed was to cure my own
Sadness, that's why I stared
Not out of love or longing
But momentary relief from this suffocating loneliness

My second promise to you,
You were a good placeholder
Someone to bear through my pale conversations
Someone who offered me their body
Which I gladly accepted
The way you taste was a wonderful distraction
From all the things I experience in my head

My third promise, then
I promise you are replaceable
Your contribution to me, was all I needed
And you are nothing more than
A temporary,
that I valued as I value thing day to day items
Good while I need them
Useless when I don't

My fourth promise
You could have been anyone
I loved you, but anyone could have been you
People are like gas, and any gas would have filled
The void within me
You filled me up, took up all my space and time
But I only needed you for a little while

My fifth and final promise,
And I really mean this one
Everything I have just written is a lie
You are everything I have wanted
You are everything I will want
And I'm broken by my own inability to have kept you
So I tell myself I am numb to you
But the truth is
You make me melt
And I don't want to be frozen anymore



last two lines from Incubus song "Have You Ever" written by Brandon Boyd
shakila May 2014
I trick myself, see
Into beliefs that do not really exist
My beliefs are not really my own,
I am just a reflection of the world's desires

I cannot be sure what I believe
Because I cannot be sure of what I see
And I'm not really sure what I need

Besides, if anyone knew what was real
We wouldn't be stuck in this dismal plane

Delusion may be wrong, but at least I can believe in that.
shakila May 2014
Ha.
It started with a laugh
Pleasant, yea?
Ending with death
Death of us, split
A tragic comedy indeed

Maturity,
Maturity,
Where are you, and where have you been?
I sought you for so long, seeking within
You do not exist within the confines
of my Super Ego, ID - no, only I exist there
Not maturity which makes my soul bare

No - I do not want to be your friend
You were never my friend
And I always loved you
Maybe you were too ****** to see
The unbearable pain it's caused
To think I would ever be a friend
To someone in which I saw no end
Disgusted by the thought
Of being with you
Without being with you

Nevertheless
I will grow and break out of my skin
Surely a snake sheds his shell occasionally
And I, the snake, the slithering
Will be sure to leave behind old values
The same old values that you once treasured
And the same old values that destroyed
Everything I thought we had
shakila May 2014
Remember me? The one who idled by, patient
Waiting for you, as I grew ancient
Still, I held no anger or despair
As I know the treatment was good judgment and fair

I supposed I never knew I would get to that point
Where I scared you off, scattered
Leaving you bruised, beaten and battered
Never physically
But the mind's skin is more delicate than we know
And sad for us, not something we can show

Do you remember me, though?
I still feel the same, despite it all
My longing for you has never dwindled
Your absence caused me to feel swindled
My adoration knew no bounds
Especially when you were nowhere to be found

Please say you remember me
Truly as I am, not as the Monster
within, we all have a monster
so I'm sorry you had to see mine
And I promised I'd keep her chained up,
taut line

Forget me now, as you surely have
I don't even have to ask
I know where your mind is
Long gone, detached from me
Though we once shared sleep every night
I see that you had to take flight
To protect yourself from your biggest fear
The love I had to give you, it got too near
And scared you away,
So I ask only that
While you may forget me
And the smile on my face as we kissed
Please remember the love I had for you
It never left, it never will
It will remember you as surely as you will forget me.
shakila Dec 2012
Powdered sugar mountains
Snowing with sweet
Delectable dunes
Infused insects
Pureed peaks
Zesty zeolites
Caramelized clouds
and Sauteed Sunshine
These are a few of my favorite things.
shakila Dec 2012
The slender curves of your waist
Smile at me as I caress you with my eyes
And undress you with my lies
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