Finding depths of undesired
A numbness speaks to me
I cry dry tears within my soul
Is this who I’m to be?

Unheard prayers find my doom
I beg this heart to ache
Any feeling come to me
This smile is hard to fake

In darkness breaths escape me
I cannot bear the feel
To seek a life of living
A hand they’re yet to deal

So in this eerie silence
Where judgments fall so few
I’ll lie a round eyed statue
Of whom I never knew

This woman before me
She is looking so sad
Eyes soaked in a longing
For a wish never had

The torment well hidden
By the glimpse of a smile
Though inside hides a child
Who cries all the while

I stare at this woman
Whose pain seems so clear
Like rain on ones soul
I shared in her fear

As I was soaked in her sadness
A single tear fell
And I let in the pain
On which she did dwell

This woman before me
So close yet so far
Like an unspoken hope
To a nights shining star

A stranger to the person
Who was once me
This reflection a reminder
That I am still she

Do shards of pains past line my eyes?
Are there shadows of loves now lost?
Inside I scream, but my smile disguise
The rose’s heart is frost

It be not fair, the world you see
These eyes have witness all
They cannot know, the ever free
The rose’s petals fall

I have no need for many things
Like toys, or books to learn
Food we need, my mother sings
The rose’s roots so yearn

And with these eyes, I beg of you
To see my pain, so ever true
And with your heart, remember me
A rose; a child – forever free

Years have passed, without a word
Without a hope, a sound, a clue
Yet still I long for you
Transparent are my memories
Memories of your face, your smile, your laugh
Yet still I long for you
At first I waited, passing time
Passed the days, weeks, months, years
Yet still I long for you
Venting my pain and I am told
They tell me to give up, move on, let go
Yet still I long for you
Often I sit and wonder who you are now
Are you kinder, happier, wiser?
Yet still I long for you
I speak your name, a painful sound
The sound a weapon, a fear, a drug
Yet still I long for you
With these words I tell the world you left
How you left me scarred, lost, blue
Yet still I long for you
I wait for the day of my release
A day I’ll smile, laugh, renew
Yet still I’ll long for you

Search not for an answer
For the meaning is deep
Stare not at the dancer
But at the move of her feet

Pray not for her love
As it is not just to give
Dream not of above
For still do you live

Give not to the wealthy
For the needing are poor
Smile not at the healthy
But at the sick to assure

Cry not in the past
As the future is bright
Live not life too fast
For there is much to delight

The child that plays
Upon the sands
Of yesterdays soon sorrow

The child that laughs
Within ones heart
Of yesterdays tomorrow

The child that smiles
Upon ones soul
Of yesterdays warm light

Is the child that lives
Within each breath
Of yesterdays delight

To be stuck in a loop
Of both love and hate
The forces indulging
On such solid fate

Like drawing a breath
The sweet melody
The forces indulging
On who I’m to be

Harsh winds blow past
Securing my fall
The forces indulging
On Sympathy’s call

I fall through the clouds
Or so it then seemed
The forces indulging
On something I’d dreamed

As I opened my eyes
And took a deep breath
The forces indulging
On what felt like death

I wished for an answer
I wished to go back
The forces indulged me
There was nothing but black

I tried to call out
Though no sound emerged
The forces controlled me
My memories purged

The light from my soul
Began then to fade
The forces controlling
What destiny made