that stupid smile I always have on,
the urge to bite on my lip,
the heat rising to my face,
my, who thought I could look so obviously in love.

you're like that swinging thing a hypnotist uses
it has my whole attention

if I'm not your everything too
does that mean to let you go?

but me suffering?
and you drowning in it?
me, not wanting to drown alone..
me, just letting you drown too?
selfish right?
just not to be alone

but being the hero
nice in the eyes of others
not changing the fact tho,
that I still don't get the air to breath too

is it fair?

not able to let go
but confused holding on
is it love?
maybe just wanting someone to be..
him to be..
the person who saves only me?

but why him?
is it love tho?
or that rescue
me unable to let go now?
like a lifebelt
me, not believing not to drown, without it

like a kid
drowning
but now it's supposed to be okay?
but letting go..
this uneasy
this unsure
this unknown feeling
is it good?
wasn't it better having it?
being secure anytime?
no wave able to let you drown again
what if I don't survive this time?
but what if I do?
will it make me happy?
everyone says so..
but I don't know how it can be..