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Laws that get me in trouble.
Mostly for public intoxication
After wandering aimlessly down
Lost streets.
Love I never receive; or gift anyone with either.
Liquor that takes the pain away
If only temporary.
Love fades,
Feelings change,
And the hangover the next morning
Reminds me of why I hate myself
After downing my first shot of alcohol
The night before.
So I start drinking again for breakfast
And the next morning will play out the same.
Endless truths hide behind lies
And luck has never been something I’m  good at.
Life is a game and I can’t ever seem to win,
I lost. I lose. I’m losing.
Over and over again
People call me a lowlife and say I’m going nowhere.
Liquor cures the lonesome for the night
And men tell me they love me.
I believe them.

I hate the word “love.”
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My collection of poems, "Partially Whole" is available on Amazon :)
 Jan 2014 Alicia
Michael
Balance.
 Jan 2014 Alicia
Michael
Optimism: I’m in love. Pessimism: I’m dying. Realism: We all are. It’s hard to say goodbye with chapped lips and clumsy words, but empty pockets feel better when they’ve spent more time capturing your body heat than bits of metal and paper. —I didn’t look at the cup long enough to know if it was half empty or half full because it was dropped before I could reach the sink. Now it’s just a bunch of shattered glass beneath bare feet in the middle of winter. My hands had become so numb just before they touched warm water for the first time since the chill and it was a surprising sensation —an unexpected pain as I started to feel again; you feared frostbite but I only thought about the painful walk home.
 Jan 2014 Alicia
redspace
Love can mend
Love can peel at the very corners of your eyes and bury its way in
Into your brain being mind and heart
Love can cradle and hold and nourish and feed
Love can hide away and feel safe
Love can breathe
But love is not always a familiar face
Not always a sparkle in her eye
Or a tune in his voice
Love can fall
Love can break
Love can suffer and bleed and scratch it's way back out through your ducts while you wonder why your tears are burning
Love can make you feel smaller than the gravel under your feet and more insignificant than a seal that's been broken for the prize
Love can literally rip you limb from limb and make you feel like you cannot bear the thought of getting out of bed
Love can deflate and berate eradicate obliterate...
incinerate
Love burns
But it burns so good
You come out alive
Love can make you learn what it's like to be vulnerable
Love can make friendly faces feel like home where your tears won't fall but be puddled in their favorite shirt
Love can make thrive and lift you back up
Love can see through lies but only after it's been lied to
Love can feel safe and warm again once it's been left in the cold
Love can be real after seeming so empty and meaningless and a waste
Love can make you bleed
But you'll never be able to leave her
You only keep pining for more because she's beautiful
You wanna hold her again because some nights she did lay still
You need her back because it made you feel real even though you at one time felt nothing at all
You hate her but only because you love her
Love can grow
Love can expand
Love is in a car with good music
Love is in a bed with warm bodies to feel
Love is a conversation that makes you cry
Love is a meal that makes you feel full
Love is everywhere
And she is kind to you
You can't find her in those that don't feel her
You feel betrayed because love won't love you back
Love is not everyone
But love is not just another heart attack.
 Jan 2014 Alicia
Melissa Vance
Hey
I know it's been a while
Since we've last both spoken.
I'm doing fine

                                            Except
I miss you sometimes
When I least expect it
I'm not really sure why
It's not like we were anything special
Maybe it's the look in your eye
In that one moment of vulnerability
When you tore off all the layers
Of protection
That you pull so tightly
Around you
Perfectly hiding you
Making you invincible from the world


Did that scare you?
That I saw that side?
Is that why you didn't call
Didn't leave even a note or an inkling
That you had the slightest interest
Or was your interest only for those few
Moments together


Like magic
Engulfing me completely
Intoxicating my senses
Filling me to the brim
With you and the possibility of more


More that will never come
Because you won't let it

I want you to know that I go
From spurts of anger to pain
When I think of you
And what we could have had
Sometimes I still hold hope
Before remembering
Stupid girl, it'll never work


You make me the highest of highs and the lowest of lows
And you don't even know it
Funny
Because I don't want you to
You don't deserve that
And at this rate you never will


Well this is getting long winded
And it's something you'll never see
Because really why would you?
You never even think of me!
So I guess it's time
To finish what I have to say
There's really nothing else
Other than
Goodbye
This is something I wrote when I couldn't sleep and couldn't get a certain person off my mind. Hoping for some closure with this piece. As always, constructive criticism and commentary is welcome. Thank you.
Shadows must and will obey
my thoughts to sink and prayers stray,
for soon they’ll stay.
They rest upon my heavy head
they lie with me upon my bed,
for soul’s decay.
Shadows must and will confuse
this love i know i’ll never loose,
and never say,
that all is bright behind these eyes
that mind is free and all these lies
are far away.
Confuse and use they must, they must
through power, greed, and lies and lust
until i’m lost.
Before they go and try their best
i’m gonna steal a little rest
from love’s old nest.
They’ll come again, this much i know,
so i put on a great big show
that I have learned long time ago.
But now my soul, she has her voice
and given any other choice
i trust the one
that shows rejoice.
She speaks and shadows dissapear
she shows the way which comes so clear.
I know the voice i hold so dear
it speaks of love, the moment  “now”
it whispers to me when and how
i can be free, and to allow
my spirit to retain the vow
it took before this life’s refinement
that some life I’ll reach enlightement
be out of body’s false confinement
And into Tao.
 Jan 2014 Alicia
Brandon
There's so much depth to your eyes
The way they squint and tug at your frown
When you wake up wearing your bed head
And see me about to drown
Do you think it will be worth it
To close your eyes again and sleep in?
If tomorrow never comes
Then we'll never have to leave this bed

But I'm a fool of yours
For every word I've never said
And if it comes from me inside out
To tear away your clothes
And see the beauty in your dance
Then I'm here baring my teeth
For a taste of your romance

So write the saddest thought you have
Write your biggest fear
Now tell me darlin
What do you really have to lose?
Is it the thought that's too close
For you to hold dear?
Clutching heartache like its a fashion statement
The point of this
It's all exaggerated
You're the perfect specimen of who you are
You're the empty hole in my heart

It's another night and we're playing with knives
Getting sick on absinthe
You hold your words to my throat
And ask for the truth
Wanting me to lie every step of the way
There's danger in the way you love me so dearly
It's tender
I surrender
Don't cut any deeper
There's only so much of me I can hold on to
When I'm around you
Surrounding myself with the buttons off your dress
I know I've made a mess
And bathed in bleach
But I wanted that dead hue
Only to entertain you

But I'm a fool of yours
For every word I've never said
And if it comes from me inside out
To tear away your clothes
And see the beauty in your dance
Then I'm here baring my teeth
For a taste of your romance

So write the saddest thought you have
Write your biggest fear
Now tell me darlin
What do you really have to lose?
Is it the thought that's too close
For you to hold dear?
Clutching heartache like its a fashion statement
The point of this
It's all exaggerated
You're the perfect specimen of who you are
You're the empty hole in my heart

Why do you call it a fault
When I make you smile?
Why do you call it a lie
When I take your hand in mine?
Is it something I did
To make you wish me dead?

So write the saddest thought you have
Write your biggest fear
Now tell me darlin
What do you really have to lose?
Is it the thought that's too close
For you to hold dear?
Clutching heartache like its a fashion statement
The point of this
It's all exaggerated
You're the perfect specimen of who you are
You're the empty hole in my heart

And if it comes from me inside out
To tear away your clothes
And see the beauty in your dance
Then I'm here baring my teeth
For a last chance at your romance
Tu Me Manques is French for you are missing from me
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