we slept it off
waited two more days
needed the bed to myself
but now we play

how did you know
where to go
when we hardly ever
talked about this

my hands trace your skin
can i feel every inch?

I am here
In a dimly lit room
Playing pool with you

I am followed
By a past so dark
My pupils overflow

I know you see it
You set up camp in my chest
And turned the light on

I allow a smile
To creep from my mouth
As you gaze at my lips

I don’t care
For the struggles ahead
The nights I felt inferior

I am here right now
Touching your skin
To keep warm

And you have started
This fire in me
Everyone else put out

I fall so hard each time
and wonder why there are scars
on my kneecaps

Back in the day
light as a feather meant so much more
than it does now

Light as a feather
but riddled with two little weights that
unapologetically hang from my shoulders

Light as a feather
but watching another fall just a little bit
faster into the small of your palm

Light as a feather
but stiff as a board

Watching your pupils dilate
the way I’ve been dying to

She’s a cup of tea
and I’m a dash of coffee creamer

Both good,
but maybe not together

There’s something out there
that will complement us better

begin again
look for the lipstick
look for the cuffed sleeves
look for my sanity

fall back
missing you comes in waves
i can’t tell exactly when it
first knocked me off my feet

a familiar pain

it’s okay if you’ve got nothing to say
cause i said what i needed to
it’s okay if you run away
cause i know where to find you

Listen to her heartbeat
when you’re sitting, talking slow

Pay attention to how her lips feel
when they’re sliding down your throat

Watch her make you breakfast
she’s saying, “You have to eat before you go”

Another night for the books
stumbling down an empty street
at midnight with our hands around each other

Your eyes did the thing
where they’re traveling to my mouth
instead of listening

Crossing state lines
saying goodbye as the bridge
is burning in the rearview

Forever, we screamed
I remember as I grabbed the poison
from your fingers and took a hit

We’re standing outside this airbnb in the heart of the city —
a clever idea of mine; an upgrade if I say so myself
Moving from the back of your car
to chasing you up the king size bed

We pulled the couch out and did our thing there, anyways

I don’t think about it anymore but I just heard the song
I swayed uncontrollably to outside
Not sure if I was drunk, it was cold, or a mixture of both
Humming as I exhaled cigarette smoke

And then you went right back to breathing me in

It’s good for me to look back on these things
That’s what I say to myself, at least
When I can smile about it
and the thought of not having it doesn’t sting

Almost like a gentle reminder of the good things to come

i'm looking for something
that i can't find
because it's already mine
i just don't think i deserve it

right under my nose
i miss you
when good things happen
who do i tell them to?

the moment you let me in
i saw the labyrinth
the demons you speak of
really exist

feeling like the cigarette
you smoked once
then never again

it's time to grow up and
face the things i'm scared of
these days it feels like everything

i should say something
but tonight will stay quiet
wondering where your heart went

were you the one to shut the door?
did i even unlock it in the first place?

i don't want to think anymore
take me somewhere besides my brain

the same things started and finished us

in and out
you look at me
like a circus clown
losing your teeth
biting on all
that candy

i could be next to you
but i still can't get
the rest of you
you don't like the sound of it
and i don't like the feeling

around and around
i'm sure by when autumn comes
you'll follow the sun back home

and i'm stuck with
my leaves changing colors

i may be the first
of the others

the fire started
and by that point
i was burnt to a crisp

how ironic

don't overthink it
i'm a ******* mess
saying things i shouldn't have said

i deserved it

now i live with these things on my skin
crawling along the surface
trying to get back inside

learned my lesson

it begins in your car
you're biting my bottom lip
and i'm trying to bite my tongue
from spitting out the words
"more than this"

you're holding my hands
in the movie theater
and breathing into my palms
"what's got you smiling so much?"

i'm running my hands up your back
and watching your shoulders
ease up to the feeling of me
slowly tracing constellations
of freckles on your skin
"noticing your eyes change their tint"

it ends in your backseat
tangled in an extra duvet from the house
you've got an early morning ahead
i already know i won't get any sleep
"who gives a **** about anything?"

it was a call out to you
to the void between your ears
that you never bother to talk about
i still have no idea
how it feels

words shrivel to the back of your throat
and they stay there
just like the smoke
how could anyone know?

the moon gives me just enough
to see your face as i leave
then you just look away

you, stoic;
but melting at my feet
me, panicked;
but somehow still breathing
how can we be like this
so nervous, so heroic?
thinking back on nights
of ignorant bliss

i still dig my nose
into the part of the pillow
that smells like your shampoo

hidden in the dark parts of my mind
i find what i'm looking for
disguised as a noose

across the room your footsteps click
when you see my eyes roll back
just know you did this
as my vision goes black

this room has a wonderful indigo atmosphere
you and i are burning scarlet red
the jealous grass withers brown here
the mornings we just lay in bed

can almost taste it on my tongue
the sweetness of your morning voice
nostalgia for when we were young
and didn't have a choice

such a sweet treat to my ear
and you're laughing into the curve of my neck
"a dance to our song, dear"
Enjoy the Silence at the discotheque

touching you is coming home to me
drawing in close when night is too cold
when the lights in your eyes reflect the city
we make promises, we'll never get old

there can't be another feeling like this
you're from another world it seems
where there are six
for you and i exclusively

i'm not worried
about tying any
fraying or
loose ends

just take me back to
where i started
meet me up
in sundance

the rain fell too hard
come the end of february
but everyone's okay
getting their shoes a little muddy
it was the orange blanket
that did it for me
a city kissing sunsets
a striking gaze, so inviting to meet

"you're right up my alley"
as if the house is also home
sharing smiles with the pavement
never admit we feel alone
the past three years now
have shaken me to the bone
life feels warm, i should know

with mountains on your shoulders
and daggers in your mouth
roses where your heart is and
wanderlust spilling out

keep me close to the sunshine
let me scream from the peak
we always knew it would happen
so go ahead and speak

there is so much waiting