We’re standing outside this airbnb in the heart of the city —
a clever idea of mine; an upgrade if I say so myself
Moving from the back of your car
to chasing you up the king size bed

We pulled the couch out and did our thing there, anyways

I don’t think about it anymore but I just heard the song
I swayed uncontrollably to outside
Not sure if I was drunk, it was cold, or a mixture of both
Humming as I exhaled cigarette smoke

And then you went right back to breathing me in

It’s good for me to look back on these things
That’s what I say to myself, at least
When I can smile about it
and the thought of not having it doesn’t sting

Almost like a gentle reminder of the good things to come

i'm looking for something
that i can't find
because it's already mine
i just don't think i deserve it

right under my nose
i miss you
when good things happen
who do i tell them to?

the moment you let me in
i saw the labyrinth
the demons you speak of
really exist

feeling like the cigarette
you smoked once
then never again

it's time to grow up and
face the things i'm scared of
these days it feels like everything

i should say something
but tonight will stay quiet
wondering where your heart went

were you the one to shut the door?
did i even unlock it in the first place?

i don't want to think anymore
take me somewhere besides my brain

the same things started and finished us

in and out
you look at me
like a circus clown
losing your teeth
biting on all
that candy

i could be next to you
but i still can't get
the rest of you
you don't like the sound of it
and i don't like the feeling

around and around
i'm sure by when autumn comes
you'll follow the sun back home

and i'm stuck with
my leaves changing colors

i may be the first
of the others

the fire started
and by that point
i was burnt to a crisp

how ironic

don't overthink it
i'm a ******* mess
saying things i shouldn't have said

i deserved it

now i live with these things on my skin
crawling along the surface
trying to get back inside

learned my lesson

it begins in your car
you're biting my bottom lip
and i'm trying to bite my tongue
from spitting out the words
"more than this"

you're holding my hands
in the movie theater
and breathing into my palms
"what's got you smiling so much?"

i'm running my hands up your back
and watching your shoulders
ease up to the feeling of me
slowly tracing constellations
of freckles on your skin
"noticing your eyes change their tint"

it ends in your backseat
tangled in an extra duvet from the house
you've got an early morning ahead
i already know i won't get any sleep
"who gives a **** about anything?"

it was a call out to you
to the void between your ears
that you never bother to talk about
i still have no idea
how it feels

words shrivel to the back of your throat
and they stay there
just like the smoke
how could anyone know?

the moon gives me just enough
to see your face as i leave
then you just look away