You told me I needed to love myself before anyone else would and even though I might agree with you that's just so **** hard. I'm not expecting you to love me enough for the both of us and I'm not asking you to pick up all the pieces and put me back together. All I'm asking for is for you to be there while I do it. I understand you've probably never been with someone who's felt broken but I'm starting to feel whole again and I'm making myself happy now and it's not that I need you it's that I want you and you bring a certain light to this grey world we all live in. You make me want to look at things differently and want to think about the best part of every day. And if that isn't what's making me fall in love with you maybe it's when your eyes light up when you talk about something you love. Or when you get the childish grin when you finally figure something out or when your laugh raises in pitch when you think somethings funny. I just can't stop myself from admiring all your qualities and I understand if you can't do the same. All I've ever wanted was for you to try

Stop building a home inside of people. You'll feel it all. Every tremble in their hands, every lump in their throat. Trapped behind a rib cage that protects you from nothing. Holes in your heart from all of the stitches you've made in theirs. You're disappearing. Let the blood rush through their veins and hope you don't drown. You don't need help to fall apart.

Tell me how it sunk in your chest. The thought of them coming home. How history is constantly repeating itself. Dragging you back to the person you used to be. How distance is only a number. That the difference between here and there is a single letter. How every time they leave is like a weight tied to your feet. Slowly drifting to the bottom. How the darkness consumes you. Your heart being shoved back in your face and you're too blind to see it.

Empty hearts and broken promises
It's like you left me in a daydream
All I remember is that it hurts
A never ending storm inside my chest
Each spout of thunder crushing my bones
There's puddles in my memory that I keep tripping into
Drowning in the idea that you might come back
That things could be better this time

This love of ours
is ripped at the seams
I keep falling through
cracks in my heart
Just let me kiss
all of the places
your hands wander
when you think of me
I find traces of you
drowning in cigarette smoke
Sometimes I
hear your voice
in mine
Home doesn't have
an address
But maybe I'm just sick
of feeling empty
and alone

I've tried to rebuild the home you stole from me when you left. Something is always off about it. I go searching for you but it seems as though you don't want to be found. I find myself knocking on doors of abandoned buildings. I can't figure out which one of us I'm looking for. I've knocked so many times my knuckles bleed. They say to heal a wound you need to stop touching it. But I keep tracing the lines of my body in search of the last place you touched and I can't ever find it. I can't ever find you. Things are supposed to get better with time but I feel my life slipping away from me and nothing's changed. Trying to tie the loose ends of the strings you left on my heart. Each one tugs at a different memory of you and I'm trying not to just rip them all out. Every time I smell alcohol I remember the night I told you I like the taste of it on your lips. I'd rather taste it on your tongue than hear you yelling it through the phone. In my hallowed out soul I can still hear the echoes of our love bouncing off the walls.