Seeing from eyes bloodshot and marred
my tongue twisted, acrid and charred,
the thoughts seeth like despotic marauders
jack-knifing from station to station, my pretty little disorders

I bleached my teeth and hair today, no reason
a ****** predator my sin's in full season
fleeing the past and all that may cause pain
indulging in chemical filth to mask the disdain

when the black sky opens up and swallows you whole
you begin to realise that home is not home
you burn the old photos, from the memories you run,
forgetting who you really are, mistaking death for fun -

have you ever fallen so ******* hard
that you can't breath for days
have you ever been kept awake at night
so that when dawn comes it's a washed out haze?

I've branded Senseless onto my skin
so that I'm reminded no matter how much I care I'll never win,

my mind a cavern full of decaying stories and flesh,

oh sweet baby Alex, good night and God bless.

Give me a reason why I should still breathe
explain what it is I should still believe -
all is not worthless, carry on even though it stings
is it not true that I had the Angel but broke her wings?

Oh here are we, one trans-androgynous moment in time
burying their dissident egos I over-inflated mine -

I'm sorry, but does my face show some sort of care?
You should know by now the world's both selfish and unfair

It doesn't need no explanations or excuses
reality is both exquisite and abusive,
as mere mortals how can we claim complete control
relying on hearts where spite hath grown?

Here are we, stood before the changing tide
rather than leap at the opportunity my heart simply sighs

Confusion! Confusion! Clarity where hath thou gone?

All is cold and dark, oh Lord why do I feel so alone?

Alas I sit alone beneath the stars
revealing both physical and emotional scars

the chance to start again has finally arisen

but do I still want to live in this world so disgustingly sin-ridden?

Roll up, there's another piece on sale
of rotted trendyness, in absence it prevails
sitting atop the throne of a plucky survivor
my mind useless, my body designer

I'm not a hero, I'm not a ***** - probably both
changing skin like fashion, both corrupt and gross -
oh do you like my hair, my bulging ****** excess?
I moisturised my face today with feaces and ground insects

eyes diamonds swamped in a pool of lies
followed by a scent of longing whilst inside swarms flies
thinking we know beauty, we ****** for fear others will take
but on the outside its easy to fabricate, to fake

I smell of roses today, oh yes I'm soo exquisite
killing in the name of love, juvenile and disgustingly delinquent
destroying myself to create a new persona I can own
but how can you have something that's already gone

one thousand suits I have with no happiness to show
I'll sell you a million, it's in desperation greed grows,
smiling sweetly as I descend into the land of sensual dreams
whilst inside my morality fits and screams

there's another piece on sale
no longer fashionable but frail
dragged from the tears of an unlucky survivor,
my mind's useless, my body bedazzling

*oh I'm designer!

God look upon me, I so need you right now,
reveal your love, oh please please show me how,
I can't fight past this festering wall of decay
I'm tired, aching and lonely, I won't make it any other way

this heart you gave me is desperately ill
without your strength I'll wake in the morn to it still,
never have I had such luck with love, oh why,
do I find myself falling asleep begging to fade away, to die

you can't stop the tears that will no longer come
cupid's fell from grace, swapping his bow for a gun
and now here I stand as the moon lights up the callous skies
surrounded by deceit and pathetic lies

seeking reverence within cigarette smoke, my ignorance deadly to some
caring less and less, I think my time has come
to either forget the past and look to the future ahead
or to wallow in the self-pity that bloats my head

I'm so sorry for everything I've done wrong
I'm selfish, I'm self-loathing, I don't deserve it but for forgiveness I long -
my sanity is twisting, my honesty it crucifies and bends
for it seems any happiness I ever find goes away in the end

I'm not stupid, I know this is my last dance

oh Lord I'm begging you, please, give me another chance

Please tell me my Lord
if I have something to live for,
oh help me dear God
my sanity pertains but my hope thaws

hello there silence
you old friend,
you make me seek reflection
when happiness is at end

but I'm afraid my vision's blurred
I can no longer fight
the strength I was proud of is gone
images of the future erased forever from my sight

I've ran my body through the mechanical grinder
that is this thing we call life
now here I sat upon my throne of despair
surrounded by shattered thoughts and empty strife

too many times did you puncture
the throbbing ***** that is my heart
if this is the nearest I'll get to heaven
then I guess I'd rather be dead from the start

I'm not living but surviving
disillusioned by what everything seems
so please please dear God, tonight when I sleep,
allow me to escape to the world that exists only in my dreams.

I've got this feeling in my bones
it makes my eyes wiggle and it makes my lungs shake -
I've got this nuance inside my body, oh
it makes my voice giggle, oh baby put on the brakes

I said ah, don't shoot -

I said yes, darlin' let's dance to the roof

Oh!

I've got this tingle deep on my insides
the music jives and it makes my **** sway
oh baby let me take you to the vertigo hillside
of brash disillusionment, I'll take you all the way -

I said ah, no don't shoot
I said yes yes darlin' let's dance to the roof

Oh!

I've got this excitement deep in my body
you thrash your hips, you tease and you pray
you beg the God of my fascist inner core
pouting those lips, hoping under the stars I'll take you away

asking questions we know the answers to
what is love, hah who really cares
I've got this snazzy feeling inside I just can't hide, oh
take off those heels and follow me up the stairs!

She's dainty
she's dark
she's serious but doesn't care
her skin silk white
eyes unjust yet fair

her voice whispers
with a hint of charmed humour
ignoring the catcalls
and all the rumours

oblivious to a lie that's sordid
dispelling anything destructive or morbid
a sensitive beauty watching from eyes electro-blue
whenever she speaks my heart jumps en-que

I'm not sure what attracts me to her side
any longing or passion she seems to hide
is that chemistry, I ask myself, or just friendship
curiosity dragging me out of that blackened pit

for I withdrew into my mind and a world of horrors
chasms in my brain feeling like long lost corridors
I forgot what it is to love others and myself
floating in the void of ill health

alas, I looked into her eyes and saw light
the eternally absent stranger, arcane, bright
thought the end was nigh but is this a fresh beginning?
It's hard to see who's losing and who's winning -

she's dainty
she's dark
she's serious yet fair -
I don't care where she is
I just want to be next to her, right there.