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Lexander J Aug 2016
Old friend, I've just killed a man
painted my spirit ****** red, cut the cord now it's dead

Oh adios dear friends, it's the final half of the show
the Thin White Joke is here and now it's time to go

desperation lingers, unwanted and with regret
I'm sure with time I will forget
but I look at the flowers, unfeeling but born to be free
holding against the tide, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
born just to be

what have I done, destroying my only ally
leaving this carapace wounded and fragile
I'm standing against the tide, simply
created not to live but to survive

what's the point in this world
born to suffer
with your ghastly grace
you smother;
homeless eat from bins
the wealthy flounder in their sins
morality bruised battered swollen
dwelling in the void where hope is woven


I cannot see what I cannot forget
a society sickened and upset
bouncing flouncing to the point of no return
in their graves the unholy turn

and turn -

and turn -

So do you think you can lean and spit in my eyes?
You think you can tarnish me with your pathetic lies?
Oh lady, sweet sweet lady -

I was born to be alive
I was born to hurt
I was born to sin and look up skirts
I'm a man, I'm a man
can't you see I'm on the edge
of psychopathic health and sweet nothingness

the birds are there to fly
tears made just to cry
one caring/hatred abomination
jackhammering from station to station

I care not what you think
nor what you say
infact I care not for you in any way -


the flowers were born uncaring and free
but now the world lags, cut
finally -
finally it no longer matters to me.
  Aug 2016 Lexander J
Jacobe Loman
Autumn.
How do you charm?
Is it the pretty leaves?
Perhaps, it's the popular color?
Maybe the unique smell?

It truly is the season of change.
Past loves revisited in waves of seasonal aroma.
A sense of urgency from the changing colors.
The frailty of the fallen leaves.
A hint of impending doom.

Though, gently the wind grazes.
Warmth echoing through the chills.
Some antidotes heal with the passing of time.
Preparing us to mentally brave winter.
Reflecting inward, changing outward.

Hope; maybe.
Motivation to work hard.
Endlessly, to find our way.
Pick up what we can and move on.
Recollections of the good, the bad, and the old.

Noble as time flows.
Ultimately, honorably ending.
Another chance, another year.
Different colors, different smells.

Accomplishments and failure.
It's all the same in the end.
Withering, until spring.
Life fights a way through.
Meeting us on the other side.
Reborn again.
Lexander J Aug 2016
Fleeting eyes of despotic marauders
desensitised clones bound to extremist orders
martyrs to a God non-existent, fake
pretending to liberate but instead they take

bone and flesh flying like bits of confetti
killing anything be it two or twenty
spreading their faith with blade and explosive
ideologies sickening, unjust and corrosive

unsung heroes, are we forever in their debt?
Their sordid acts spilling blood, tears and sweat -
tell me Radical, does God really give a sh*t
whether the bullet from your gun misses or hits?

They care for no one but themselves and their kind
stomping upon our future and leaving destruction behind -

watch out my friend, any stranger could be one of them
for its not a matter of 'if' but a matter of when.
Lexander J Aug 2016
Plastic bags with bombs in
distorted lies addled with sin
gunfire, controversy, gay meditation
Deaths first kiss gripping the nation

Europe in disarray, refugees fleeing war
people battle for their identities behind makeshift walls
grey stained weatherfronts, conflict that's never dead
panic reverberating as our streets run red

oh old friend what has the world become
infatuated with power massacre reigns beneath the sun
ignorant to the future our forebearers fought for
we blow each other up as sanity thaws

but amidst the battles, bloodshed and gore
hope still blooms, albeit crippled for
the answer's simple that'll leave all this behind;

*nurture your own faith and I will mine.
Lexander J Aug 2016
I paint on my face a smile with gaunt eyes
let the thick black paint run as I then cry,
powerless, hopeful, juvenile and woeful
mouthing lyrics full of idolisation and little wonder

It wasn't what I'd confessed
intoxicated with *****, both cursed yet blessed
a Pariah of the teen age, from twisted adolescence reborn
weeping as pride lies at my feet soiled and torn

cross-dressing to impress the mirrors
using the inner freak to abstain my filthy measures
verging upon the cusp of a downward abyss
of severe mental health and nothingness

through smoke my vision's blurred
self respect depreciated and curdled
killing the strength that carried me through
looking at my reflection and thinking oh

you lil' wonder -
you lil' wonder, you
Lexander J Jul 2016
Quietness caresses the Tulips,
the Roses all stand in abstinence,
the colours muted,
their leaves dripping with silence.

The wind's kissing the tears
that are running down my featureless face -
in an ageing body life departs
as death slowly takes it place.

Breath of an Angel,
catching as it sticks in the tide,
crumble does the rotten wall
behind which manipulation hides -

Pursed lips bloodied but clean,
one incarnadine stained soul
so beautifully sanguine

a single Ivory Rose, extracted
from the sweet substance of prayers,

choking and dying,
suffocating in a world that no longer cares,

standing its ground,
silently doing its hidden duty,

failing the infallible
being it's true blackened beauty.
Lexander J Jul 2016
There's a difference in his eyes I cannot see
the thought of letting loose, of setting him free
enough to churn the stomach, to gurgle, to rile
his ammonic state of mind corrosive and vile

he lives his life surrounded by taunts and mistrust
hiding deviacy beneath lies and thick dust
the remnants of normality obscured but still there
he hears their cries but no longer cares

desperation desperation where hath thou gone
skin pallid upon where the sun once shone
***** cakes the carpet, blood up the walls
bits of babies and adult men strewn through the halls -

[Listen! Listen! Can you hear that sound?
It's the sound of your ignorance, of morality unwound]


I sat down today and looked into the mirror
through a curtain of cigarette smoke,
I never used to indulge in such filth
a fool to sin, guess I deserve to cough, to choke

there's a jittery malevolence within I can feel
with every tickety-tick-tock of the clock something unreels -
a prisoner to the past, I revel in divine incense
of pathetic excuses and irreverent adolescence

he's inside me now, there's nothing I can do
it's the way of the world, my little flower bloom I grew
now I'll nurture it, feed it, watch him flourish
then maybe someday I'll finally be ******* noticed.
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