I know its been quite some time that you have read any messages of mine... and i dont know how much more it will take you to see this but i guess until then it will be just my secret there are some days that i have to keep my lips shut or i will say how much i think of you everytime i hear lana del rey you know those poeple you talk to not often but when you do it is like you never stopped i wish it was like that if we could talk i know your in love and mean no disrespect it is just that sometimes i loose some myself and dont know where to check i know it is cheesy i know im trippin i dont know what to do... what im sayin is that i miss you

I pretend if you pretend
Girl i know u have other men
At least i think
To much hurt to mend
I dont know what to believe
**** it i dont care
Love you too much too leave
Dont know what to to do
Blood line stains on my sleeves
Ill pretend everythings ok if you do
If laugh and cheese
But when your with me then we can be good
Until then its a wrench lost in the hood
Of this car called us
I dont wamt you riding other people
This is no bus
Tell me the truth please
Its a must
I painted on you my canvas
Ywou allowed others to add to my work
So what am i worth
Nothing right
So i hope you smile as i walk towards the bright light

You can never be truly happy
Life is a joke
Ill end it now dont bother To poke
At my lifeless body
Bye....

Sorry to you im boring
Im like this with everyone
I crack jokes
Others laugh a ton
But not you
You shy away
Like the sun at the end of the day
I try
But is that enough for you
I fear youll text sumother dude
Its in my mind
I guess thts not normal
But im one of a kind
So ill think what i want
The thought of you fallin for another will always haunt
Just know i try
Ill try and try
Until the day i die

Got me up all night, all I'm singing  is love songs
**** this **** I'm tired of it
Get sick when I think to long about it
Why couldn't they **** some ***** instead of you
Died inside when you said it was true
We weren't together but still
I was ur prescription and you were my pills
Did you not think about the year that we had
Plans we had after the night of our grad-uation
This is a serious situation
You got ****** and I hate it
**** we could've made it
If u didn't leave me in the first place
Was so mad couldn't even see your face
Tried to put my feelings into other girls
But they weren't you
Kicked em to the Kurp like Kung fu
But not you
My love my boo
You let another ****** **** inside you
So what does that make me
A boyfriend that's crazy
You say it was the past
But just the thought of him grabbin your ***
Forget it I should've been your only one
But you wanted to have fun
I do too but that was befor we really tried
Our love we didn't hide
Thanks I really appreciate the thought
Your lies I always caught
Your still the best I ever had
And I'm glad
Got me up all night all I'm singing is love songs

I stare into the mirror
The thing i see is everything but me
Funny sweet friendly
But inside my minds deadly
I wish no one talked to me
To be a loner my greatest apifiny
But im not im known
Never to be alone
Its ok i can push through each day
Pretending i love the person i am
The one people think i am even my friends
Im messed up and dont know why
Nothin falls down when i cry
To all my loved ones bye....

Wake up
Sit at the end of my bed
Cant remember my dreams
Nothing in my head
i feel dead, but i continue to move ahead
Pop pop pop gulp
Take these meds
Itll keep my demons binded in threads
Look in the mirror i dont like what i see
But **** it its what everyone around wants me to be
Look to my left theres my mask
With a fake smile painted on it
strap it on... at last
I can cover my past
for today
until once agianst in my bed i will lay
let the demons in my minds out to walk astray