I will let myself cry.
I will let myself sigh.
Sorrow will overcome me.
And my sobs will shake me.

I need this now and then,
I just wish I could predict when.
My doubts and worries creep and creep
And then I sob until I sleep.

My mother wonders what’s gone wrong.
My lover holds me and sings a song.
People try to soothe my doubt
But I just need to cry it out.

It might be hormones, or it could be the heat.
All I know is that the cycle will repeat.
In a month or two I’ll be crying once more,
Shaking and sobbing in a way I deplore.

But the morning’ll come and I’ll crack a smile,
And I’ll be back to normal for a little while.
And then something’ll happen and I’ll feel my eyes sting,
And I’ll turn my face down and curse everything.

I’ll hate the world for a night or two
And I’ll hiccup and sob and feel so blue.
I’ll try to feel good in my own skin,
And I’ll try to keep out of the loony bin.

And then once again, I’ll feel just fine.
For a long while my eyes will shine.
I’ll be happy and confident and I’ll love you all
But in a few months, I’ll have to fall.

Even now my cheeks are wet,
And I’m writing things I might regret.
But tomorrow morning I will wake up
And, still tired, I’ll fill my teacup.

I’ll act as though nothing has changed
Though the night before I acted deranged.
I’ll clean my tearstained pillow case
And I’ll rejoin the human race.

Until it happens one more time.
And then I’ll write a nursery rhyme
as my sorrow overcomes me
and my sobs relentlessly shake me.

I want to hold you and kiss you
And never let you go.
I want to keep you, and protect you,
Just so you know.

I want to make you shiver
And fall apart in my hands.
I want to soothe you when you quiver
And show you great lands.

I want to fall asleep with you in my arms
And I want to kiss you awake.
I want to make you fall for my charms,
Even though I’ll burn the pancakes.

I want to wrap you up in great black wings,
And kiss every inch of your skin.
I want to show you the beauty in things
And have you meet all of my kin.

I want to come home and see you beam,
When all I want to do is cry.
I want to close my eyes and see you in my dream,
And I never, ever want to say goodbye.

I want to get on one knee
And give you a golden ring.
I want to make you feel free
And I want to hear you sing.

I’m so, so in love with you,
I wish I could say it more.
Tell me what I can do,
Don’t let me be a bore.

I give you my sword and my heart,
I give you my armor and wings.
You are a work of art
To be desired by kings.

In the end though, you’re mine
Just as I am yours.
With you I align,
And for you, I’ll fight wars.

Poems about roads,
poems about ravens,
Poems about monsters,
and poems about roses.

What do they mean? The road is a life,
the raven a regret,
the monster is you
and the rose is-

What.

What happened to this?
Why can't it just be a rose?
A flower with thorns and red petals?

“But the thorns are hardship and-”
No. Don't pretend you understand.
Don't give meaning to the meaningless.
Let the words speak on their own.

Interpret, sure, but don't over-analyze.
Let the words come and flow
unbroken by the lines of a chart,
splitting stanzas and lines into more manageable chunks.

Poetry is an art not meant for a spreadsheet.
Words flow from the heart and the soul,
from the subconscious where meaning is meaningless.

Where poetry remains whole.

I scratch my pen across the page
like a pen scratching across a page,
writing a poem about poetry,
Really.

I write cloud and it means cloud,
I scrawl raven and I mean the bird,
I tap out road, and it refers to the pavement
and when I say rose, I mean rose.

Beauty is not always in complexity,
sometimes it rests in simplicity.
Simplicity of thought and
of interpretation.

When my heart is aching
and I want to cry, how else can that be said?
When I make it an enigma:
crystal drops from earthen orbs

when I say what I want:
I buried my face in my hands
and sobbed.

Both equally beautiful,
both equally poetic
one clearly understood by anyone reading.

Poetry is my art, and I would hate to see it picked apart
like a frog in a biology class.
Each stanza

cut

apart

word by word

and phrase by phrase

to find any hidden meanings therein.

I've hidden nothing.

But don't over-analyze that statement.

Jaws cracking
eyes watering
inhaling so deep

heavy eyelids
and a drooping head
don't fall asleep

sleep is fickle,
get it where you can
and if you don't have insomnia

BE GLAD.

There are few things worse
than lying awake,
clock blinking, glowing in your eyes.

Your watch beeps,
a bell chimes
3:00 in the morning

again.

You're so awake
you wanna go out
but you can't.

It's too late.
early?
dark.

The cracks in your ceiling
are so fascinating.
The cat at your side is
warm.
purring.

orange.

It should be soothing
should put you to sleep.
But it won't.
Never does.

How long can you go without sleep
before you go mad as a hatter?
Down, down, down the rabbit hole of dreams...

snapped away from the brink.
Damnable sirens!
Damnable insomnia...

Sun's rising. What now?
Get up. Get dressed.
You've a life to live.

Foundation covers the circles under your eyes.
Tea or coffee keeps you running.
Insomnia keeps you awake.

Always has.

Always will.

Standing here
I feel no fear

Head held high
A spark in my eye

The darkness comes
Choking my lungs

Eyes grow dimmer
The sun looses its glimmer

The ground crumbles away
And yet, here I stay

Standing so tall
During the fall

Of the world and the people
As the sky crushes the steeple

The moon and the sun
Go and have fun

The sky falls down
Onto the town

And the children flee
But not me.

I stand here, proud
My voice so loud

As I say to the sky
“And now it’s just you and I.

“I struggle to breathe,
and I feel you seethe,

“Because here I stand,
with blood on my hand,

“and I’m stronger than you
for all that you do.”

And then I died
With only my pride.

But that was enough
Because I was tough

The pain is so distant.
Nothing more than a dull ache.

I feel like I’m watching a movie,
The picture too grainy to make out.

I cant breathe.
Each and every rasp is wet.

I cant see.
My vision blurs and distorts.

I cant speak.
Blood endlessly chokes my voice.

I dont want to feel.
I know there will only be pain.

I block everything out
And I retreat within myself.

I think I fall to my knees.
I’m not sure anymore.

Am I dying?
Am I finally going to die?

Blissful silence.
An endless abyss.

No pain, no cruelty.
No him, no her.

No me.

Close my eyes.

Fade to black.

Roll credits.

*Fin.

In the middle of a crowd,
The surrounding voices far too loud,
I look up and try to see a cloud
But I only face the Shadows

I’m alone in my home
Yet in the mirror, a clone
Her skin as cold as a burial stone
And she’s one of the Shadows

Scarlet, sticky and warm
Brought to the surface by a thorn,
That leaves my skin ragged and torn.
It flows and melds with the Shadows.

I fight to stay alive
Though I know I will not survive
I’ll simply be one of the Hive…
And all around me are the comforting Shadows.

With that realization I die,
And now in peace I can lie.
Never again will I cry
In the warm embrace of the Shadows

Russell, Taynon, Josh and Stephanie
Thank  you for willing to be seen with me

Zack, Anthony, Lili and Max
Thank you for accepting all of the facts

Danica, Cody, Shayne and Steven
Thank you for keeping the playing field even

I know I’m forgetting so many names
So many faces and so many claims

So, to all of you who I call friend
Here is the message I’m gonna send:

You’ve all been there through thick and thin
Better friends there have never been

Stories, poems, rants and obsession
You listen and aid my mental progression

I could write this thing all day
And still I know it would not say

What you have all come to be
And what you all mean to me

And yeah I know, I’m awesome too
My being here is an honor to you

But my dear Ninja, Artist, and my Writer
My prep, my worshipper and my oddball character

You’re the ones with whom I rock out
You’re the ones who won’t let me pout

So, speaking quite seriously
I hope you don’t ever leave me.

SO! Please stand up and cheer
All of my friends here
Because if you don’t it will be quite queer…

Crawling, creeping, through the dark,
keeping an eye upon your mark

Throwing knives rest on your hips
blackened cloth against your lips.

Against rooftops, your feet are silent
your movements so graceful so poised, so violent.

You stalk your prey from far above
a sick and twisted sort of love.

They turn their head and then they die
and away you seem to fly.

A smoke bomb thrown, a muffled boom.
In the shadows, you'll always loom.

Twist and turn against the air,
walk on water without a care.

A sense of honor, strong and deep,
keeps you company you as you creep.

And you move on to another,
followed by shadows that you call brother.

Morning comes and you go to school,
and no one can deny that you're ******* cool.

A pirate greets you, bright and gay,
and so begins another day.

It seems that through the years
I have shed my fair share of tears

And the blood coursing through my veins
Have become far more like chains

Life is long and filled with horrors
Seen by only brave explorers

And of course those who’s eyes
Are open as they hear their cries

Others curl up and ignore
Everything forevermore

The world is crumbling in front of me
And now I know only I could see

The way humanity fell apart
Through my icy and numb heart

I fought for years to save you all
But alas! You did not hear my call

No more heaven and no more hell
I won’t remain and I will not dwell

My death will be my own
So you can see the seed you have sown

The spawn of hatred to your fellow creature
No longer will I be your preacher

I will be silent till the end of days
And when you’re gone I will bask in the rays

Of the warm, warm sun and the cool, cool moon
And now I will die all too soon

The chains will fall away
And leave me to play

In a world destroyed
In this great wide void

And now I can smile
At least for awhile

Because soon I will die
And then I can lie

On the ground in peace
And my body will release

My soul to the stars
And I will never have to see my scars

My tears will dry
And I will not cry

For the deaths I have seen through the years
I know I hold no fears

I can be calm now
And take my final bow

No matter what happens I know I’ll see you
Through thick and thin and rich and poor too

When tears stream down my cheeks from memories too hard to bear
I take solace in knowing you will always be there

When I gain a lover and move away as well
It is you who I will always tell

When I need help and I hope you will come to me
If ever you have to have someone hear your plea

The sky knows I’ve cried in your arms
When in my mind all of the alarms

Were blaring so loud I couldn’t think
And it was your words which pulled me from the brink

And I hope I can do the same
Even if  I never reach fame

And together we’ll be because of what we are
No matter how near and no matter how far

A friend forever and a shoulder on which to cry
A companion and a constant ally

One bond is forever when you see through our eyes
because Sisters never say their goodbyes

Spinning rings
and shining things

Singing birds
and mini words

blocks and *****
and dropped calls

rubber bands
and unclaimed lands

lovers' sighs
and heartfelt goodbyes

a survivor's tears
and a child's fears

things you can see
and things you can be

things you can hold
that make your hands cold

when you close your eyes
you can see fireflies...

Places where people tend to hide
where they shed their secrets and confide

all these things I gather here
I hold them all so very dear

humans tend to overlook
the wonders resting in a blank book

a candle flame
is never quite the same

greyscale, color, or just the red
hear what people in the past have said

this is my home of endless awe
where there is but one single, unbreakable, undeniable law:

Keep you mind opened, keep you eyes peeled
and never let your thoughts be concealed.