I am not my flesh
I am the spirit within.

How do you know you are
ready to love?


You dont.

It hits you like a wave you never saw coming,
But the drowning doesnt hurt.
You breathe.

i can tell
by the bags
under your eyes
that you cry
yourself to sleep
when it comes
dawn you hide
and cut your
wrists, so the
sun doesn’t kiss
you and make you
conscious
let’s make
love and shut
the world out
and embrace this
new feeling that
we ignite in each
other’s bodies

she was hooked
on drugs
and i was dealing
with depression
i became her new addiction
and my *** was her fix
she always confided in me but the four walls knew her better
and one day i went hibernating
she cut herself and befriended
a noose which she used to degrade herself because the anchor was absent in her life

Oh my god,
**** THAT.

**** the apathy
And the mental breakdowns
And the fake it till you make it.

We're not fifteen anymore.
Getting drunk and falling asleep,
******* and watching the L Word.

You're not Shane,
And I'm not ******* Jenny.
She dies, you know.
And I like men and women,
So it doesn't even make sense.
I should have been Alice.

******* feel something with me.
God ******* **** it.
I'm not crying to iron & wine.
I don't want to feel this weak anymore.
*******.
We're adults.

Oh no honey,
You don't understand.
It doesn't matter to me,
How you play the game.

I'm not even playing,
With my own money.

Tragedy and loss are dull,
The pain that comes from them,
Isn't even that sharp.

You know what is sharp?
Witt and skill and success.
Particularly mine.
So watch out.

I know you think my heart is a playground,
Shaped with love and cascading laughter from swings, slides and turnarounds.

With excited and exhilarated screams piercing through the thoughts of torturous reality.

With giggles masking our tiredness of life
and rejection from giving up on it.

I know you feed from my soul.

I know.

But perhaps it stands good to remember that: swings and slides do break;
turnarounds do stop;
Playgrounds become barren with light and love.

Stripped of all their sheer and happiness....