I'm trying to survive,
But I'm still deeply in love with you.
I haven't seen you in a month or so, it tears me up inside.
to know you're with him and not me,
you tell me you love me, and that you did it to protect us.
maybe I didn't want to be protected.
maybe I just wanted you.
you degrade yourself, when I see only your beauty.
you hate yourself, when I can only love you.
I want you back, but it would be different,
you hate your self more then ever and i'd just be picking up your pieces.
I honestly wouldn't had made love to you if i had known this would happen,
if I was to know that night was the last night i was to see you.
I feel like a cheap ***** every time i think of it.
you wanted me to hate you, like you hated you,
I couldn't.
you wanted me to find new girls,
I wanted too.
now were just two people,
deeply in love
and completely unable to do a ******* thing about it.
it tears me apart.
I'm surviving,
at least I'm Trying

we always worry
who says "hello"
first

holding our breaths
at our white phones
in front of a tsunami,
ocean waves like
bear claws or
shark teeth, i stand
like a dandelion
and I take a step
forward, toward
everything yet no-
thing, because this
is a fragment of the
atlantic, this is left
over shreds of un-
loved tides, I walk
because if i take a
step and you push
me back, or if i take
a step and you pull
me toward aisles of
blue cigarette ash, I
know more than I
ever did just standing,

With you, I have forgotten how to love.
Would you believe me if I said there was once a time where I knew?
Where I knew how to slide my fingers into the spaces of someone else's,
Where I could hint how much I love you in the pauses of my sentence,
Would you believe me if I said there was once a time I knew?
When to give up, when to keep fighting
But with you, everything seems to be confusing
You spin me around, always leaving me dizzy
And I fall into the spaces you always give me,
Would you believe me if I said I've never known to how to love
Because they've never worked out, and this is no longer "practice"
You are as perfect as the curves of the moon
You are the northern lights of my lonely nights  
You are not the sun, or the far stars you can never tell apart
You are special
And nothing in my life could've taught me how to love you
I love you