Beautiful tragedy, life is. Nothing understood and
Judgement always comes first. I cannot find...
I am crashing into brick walls over, and over,
And over,
And over,
And over,
And... I am a broken record. I forget
When I say things. If I say things.
I need to just stay silent. Sew my mouth shut with thick black thread.
I can say more that way.
I might as well do the same with my eyes.
I can see black that way. I love the view. So tranquil.
But I can still hear you. I want you.
Cut these threads and let me see your eyes. The aqua-green color I can drown in.
It kills me to know you look at me. I don't deserve someone like you.
It drowns me. You do. Because you love me. And you
Allow me
To love you back. Infinitely.
I never want to leave. I love you I love you love you. I love you. I love you. A broken record again.
The misery of repeating things, thinking things. I am a mess.
But I have a vision. A recurring dream.
Stay with me. And it will be a prophecy.
Leave. And it will be a lost desire. A crushed hope.
But it gives me something to live for.
I love the pain. Thinking about bad things, my demons, is my harm. My release.
That or you. You touch me, play with me. My mind goes wild. But we haven't gone that far at all.
You just amplify this adrenaline.
It blinds me. Sight goes fuzzy, flash, blackness.
That is the blackness I remember.
Did I tell you I once thought myself insane?
I saw the nightmares you only dream of. Every waking hour.
My brother had nightmares about shadows following him. He screamed as he woke up.
He never saw them outside of his blankets.
I did. They tugged at my hair. Gave me chills. Distracted me.
They followed me constantly, but they were my friends. They knew me.
And they were pitch black. Midnight. No light. No light. No light.
Broken records, scratched CDs.
I am a broken record again. Just a dark disc turning, spinning, turning, spinning.
I am dizzy. I faint. I sleep.
This is the blackness I remember.