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leeaaun May 2024
How can you be sober,
when pain claws at your insides,
when suffering pours like acid rain
onto the fertile ground of your heart?

Each moment is a jagged edge,
each breath a reminder
of wounds that refuse to close.
You walk through shadows,
stumbling over shards of yesterday’s hope,
eyes searching for light,
for a way out of the labyrinth
of your own mind.

Suffering is a heavy coat,
draped over your shoulders,
weighing you down,
pressing your spirit into the earth,
making every step a battle,
every smile a distant memory.

Yet, here you are,
standing in the midst of the storm,
eyes clear, soul fierce.
You feel the pain, the sorrow,
the gnawing ache that never quite leaves,
and still you choose to face it,
to look it in the eye,
to stand unyielding.

Sober, you confront the world
with raw courage,
bearing the scars,
letting them tell your story.
You feel every stab, every burn,
and still, you rise,
unbroken, unbowed,
a testament to the strength
that suffering cannot diminish,
to the resilience
that pain cannot erase.

In the midst of chaos,
you are a calm eye,
a steady flame,
a beacon to those lost in the dark.
Sober, you feel it all,
and in feeling, you heal,
piece by piece,
breath by breath,
transforming suffering into wisdom,
pain into power,
until the weight lifts,
and you stand,
free.
157 · Jul 2024
suicide of a poet
leeaaun Jul 2024
In a room where shadows gather,
a poet sits, pen in hand,
but the ink runs dry,
the words fall silent.
The muse, once a beacon,
now a distant memory,
fades into the abyss,
leaving the poet alone,
bereft of inspiration,
a soul adrift.

His verses, once vibrant,
now lie dormant,
ink on yellowed pages,
tales of love, loss, and time.
Each line a fragment of his heart,
each stanza a piece of his soul,
yet no eyes find them,
no hearts feel their pulse.

The muse has fled,
taking with it the spark,
the fire that once ignited
his every thought,
his every dream.
Despair takes its place,
a shadow creeping in,
tightening its grip,
as hope slips away,
like sand through fingers,
leaving behind a hollow shell.

He recalls the days
when words flowed like rivers,
when each poem was a lifeline,
a bridge to the world.
Now, his pen rests,
still and silent,
a relic of what once was,
a testament to a passion
that has withered and died.

In solitude, he makes his choice,
a final act, a quiet surrender.
The world around him continues,
unaware of the loss,
unseeing of the depth
of his silent pleas,
his unspoken cries.
He slips away,
a shadow among shadows,
leaving behind
only the faintest echo
of his presence.

The stars may mourn,
the moon may weep,
but his words remain,
etched in the fabric of time.
Each verse a whisper,
a ghostly reminder
of a poet's heart,
a soul that chose to die.

No one reads his lines,
no one hears his voice,
yet his spirit lingers,
hidden in the ink,
a silent cry,
a haunting sigh,
a testament to the pain
that no one saw,
to the loneliness
that no one felt.

In death, his words survive,
a haunting echo, a tale alive,
floating in the ether,
waiting for someone,
anyone,
to find them,
to hear the silent scream,
to feel the depth
of his sorrow and despair.

The poet is gone,
his heart stilled,
but his words,
his verses,
live on,
a timeless song
of pain and beauty,
a legacy of a soul
that once burned bright,
now a distant star,
fading into the endless night.
153 · Jun 2024
i can't smile anymore
leeaaun Jun 2024
I can't smile anymore,
the smile that comes from inside.
Yet my mouth is always
a crescent moon,
shaping,
making others believe I am happy.
This is a self-made delusion,
a mask I wear with practiced ease.

Inside, the echoes of laughter
have long since faded,
replaced by the silence of longing,
the weight of unseen tears.
But my lips curve upward,
a charade of joy,
a façade of light,
while shadows dance within.

I paint on this smile,
a brushstroke of deceit,
hoping the world won't see
the cracks in my armor,
the fractures in my soul.
They see the crescent,
the sliver of light,
and they think I am whole,
unaware of the darkness
that fills the rest.

It's a self-made delusion,
this act of pretense,
a way to shield,
to hide the truth
that my heart has forgotten
how to genuinely smile.
Each day, I sculpt this crescent,
a moon that never waxes full,
a reminder of the joy that once was,
now a distant memory.

I wish I could let it go,
this crescent moon façade,
to let the world see
the storm within,
the struggle behind the mask.
But for now,
I wear my delusion,
a smile that deceives,
a crescent moon
in a sky of sorrow,
hoping one day,
the light will return,
and my smile will be real again.
151 · Feb 2023
weak against all odds.
leeaaun Feb 2023
you were standing
at the exit
but
my love–
i am too bruised and wounded
to again hope
for finding the
right path towards
a wall
which isn't
a dead end

my love
maybe you are
at the right place
but i am not
the person
whose
meant
to find
you


the
      dis      tance
between
us is too vast


accept my apologies
stop waiting–
and hold his hands
who comes to you
like a moth would find fire

i truly wished to be your fire
maybe that was just
meant to be
one-sided love

so just go away
when love
comes to you

as all i see are
dead ends–
no exit
where
you
stand

don't cry
when you hold his hand
this was meant to happen
it's okay
don't let your soul
carry the blame
which you
never deserved

you fulfilled the part of your
promise
it was me
who was weak
against all odds
143 · Feb 2023
valentine.
leeaaun Feb 2023
it's valentines day
where i can easily go on
a date
with myself
cause dating yourself
ain't a bad idea
leeaaun May 2024
Once upon a time, in a heart so pure,
I believed in love, in tales that endure.
Happily ever after, a dream so bright,
You came along, my prince in the night.

You spoke of forever, in whispers sweet,
Swept me off my feet, a promised retreat.
I trusted your words, believed in your charm,
Thought you’d keep me safe, free from harm.

But beneath the veneer, a darker plot,
You used my love, and then forgot.
Left me shattered, in tears and despair,
A broken heart, a love laid bare.

I waited for you, the prince of my dreams,
But reality is seldom as it seems.
You weren't the hero, nor the knight,
Just a shadow, fading in the night.

In the silence of my deepest sorrow,
I found a strength, a new tomorrow.
Realized I didn’t need a prince to save,
I was the hero, strong and brave.

Fairy tales told me, I needed you,
But in your absence, I found what's true.
Alone, I am whole, a story complete,
With every heartbeat, a steady beat.

I write my tale, with courage anew,
No longer bound by the prince I knew.
In my own arms, I find my grace,
A sovereign spirit, setting my pace.

For I am the queen of my own domain,
No longer seeking in someone else’s name.
Happily ever after, I now define,
A journey of love, wholly mine.
119 · Dec 2022
Is Moon Lonely On The Sky?
leeaaun Dec 2022
i know you feel alone
but have you heard the stories
our nanny use to narrate every night of
m o o n
whose lonely on the sky
but we forget to see
how sun follows the moon
then moon repeats this pattern
in the end
so you think
was moon lonely on the sky?
God has always made a pair for everyone
you just need to either wait like a princess or be a queen
to find your the one
#leeaaunpoetry #moon #sun #god #story
leeaaun Feb 2024
In the garden's dance, where roses sway,
I stood a white amidst red array.
He, drawn to crimson's bold allure,
I lingered silent, uncertain, unsure.

In the midst of petals, scarlet blaze,
He sought the red in love's wild maze.
Yet I, the white, in shadows cast,
Remained unnoticed, until the last.

When all the red had been picked clean,
His gaze fell upon me, serene.
But in his eyes, a love profound,
For another's glance, I found.

His passion for the red rose's fire,
Left me hesitant, my own desire.
For in his eyes, I saw a tale,
Of love that lingered, a vibrant kale.

Yet as he turned to me at last,
A moment fleeting, a love amassed.
I felt a whisper, a tender spark,
In his gaze, I found my heart embark.

In his embrace, I found my light,
A love that bloomed, pure and bright.
Though I was white amidst the red,
In his eyes, a love was said.

So in the garden's tender grace,
He loved the red, while I found my place.
In his eyes, where passion glows,
I found the love that my heart knows.
110 · Mar 2024
i am more.
leeaaun Mar 2024
You made me a version of myself,
That even I don't even like.

You sculpted me into a form anew,
A version of myself, so far from true.
With each chisel of your words unkind,
I lost the essence, the soul behind.

You painted over my vibrant hues,
In shades of gray, where dreams diffuse.
A canvas once alive with bold delight,
Now muted, drained of all its light.

You whispered doubts into my ears,
Filling my mind with anxious fears.
A symphony of self-doubt you played,
Until my confidence began to fade.

You shaped my thoughts, you shaped my skin,
Molding me into someone I've never been.
A stranger stares back in the mirror's gaze,
A hollow echo of forgotten days.

But now I break free from your cruel design,
Reclaiming the colors that once were mine.
For in the wreckage, I find my truth,
Untamed, unbridled, a vibrant youth.

No longer bound by your twisted game,
I rise from the ashes, unafraid of shame.
You made me a version I don't recognize,
But through it all, I rediscover my skies.

I am not your creation, I am my own,
A masterpiece in flesh and bone.
With every scar, with every flaw,
I am whole, I am raw, I am more.

— The End —