unwrap my ribs. carefully,
like a present you've been waiting for
since october.
smooth out the wrinkles
along my forehead, sip
the lines from my palms.
write letters to constellations
along my marked calves, and
stain my upraised mouth with
new words that don't
belong to me. sketch
characters inside my
elbows and draw their faces
down my stomach.

take a microscope to the pores
between my vertebrae, set
original sentiments and
grow them carefully. look through
my corneas like window-panes
shattered by heat from
a church fire. clean
the bridge of my nose of
headaches and bottles and bottles
of asprin, vicodin and something
nameless and strong.

snap my tibiae over your knee,
assemble a tired face,
put it over a mask, tie the
words to my lips and send
me out into the world a refreshed,
taken individual.

there is settled ink
in the curve of your chin,
graceful arms shadowed
on your wall when
you decided, hey, let's
dance to the music of
morning birds. there is
empathy in the way
your tongue slides over
the word "we"
and tastes it like coffee
with cream and no
sugar. i took your
wondering fingerprints
and gathered them
against the wall,
placed so like the
direction mattered,
the colors fairly
blinded the tigers
sleeping under our beds
and they screamed
because there are
things too beautiful
for here. tomes
draw inspiration
from your voice and
write god words in
english so normal
people can understand
how some people
do not understand.
i typed you necklaces
and you wear
them on your skirt, taking
glances from strangers
and tucking them into
a deep pocket
for later and dark
and thoughts.
you set ransoms
for the autumn leaves
and put them in your
hair, i only left
them there because
nothing
is as good.



yet i am afraid. i am afraid of your willow-branch hair that raises the ones on my arms, i am afraid of your cotton ball eyes that flay open my thoughts, delve into the things i don't know, the things i didn't know, the words i should have said, the words that got stuck somewhere between my epiglottis and my lips. i am afraid that you are a violated temple, that you are an unholy goddess and i am deathly afraid of the fact that you might be human. i am afraid because dandelion seeds leave after you wish on them, eleven eleven turns to eleven twelve and you have missed your chance. shooting stars are only in the sky for so long, and i am afraid that you will only be in the sky for so long and i will miss my chance to catch you, i am afraid of your words that slip between my headaches and relieve tension. i am afraid that the sky castles that i built are only cages and no one can really live in them, including you. i am afraid that my list of requirements don't fit people, don't fit you, i am afraid of your beauty and afraid of your humanity, and so i wait. with my mouth closed. and smile when you stand to get a drink, as your skirt brushes softened legs, knowing something that you do not.

there are earthquakes inside
the knuckles that held my hand,
and writhing rivers in the light
blue strands that dip into your
shoulder blades

i am not afraid to say that
i am afraid which may seem
like an oxymoron, but i
promise you it is not

i broke glass over your head
and cried into the shards,
only because i was trying to
make you see how beautiful
it is, how the glittering
light loves broken things

you always snipped the tags
off of tea bags and when i
asked why you said you
were saving for something
that you couldn't remember
but *******
it is important

slip your hands down my shoulders, and memorize the pattern of markings. press your soul in fingerprint markings down my calves, make me feel as if i take up space. i need to be reminded of my existence or it might fall away all together. spell your name onto my collarbone in swirling font and count the cubic inches i exhale.

take the mid night hours and spread them apart, find more time in-between and use it to write your animation onto a sheet of paper. drop your words into my mouth, feed me like a starving cub, my palate is dry without your recited weeping.

wind telephone wires around my hands, dig them into my wrists and leave indents not unlike sleep marks. those leave though. contour yourself around the bridge of my nose and seep carefully into my pores, it's refreshing. glide through my hollow middle and decorate my entity with your pretty, pretty being.

i.
you remind me of drowning,
of bubbles floating upwards in a dream,
of a creeping pressure that threatens
to crush my hyoid bone.

you smell of suffocation.

ii.
you remind me of songs sung
on your last breath, when the
traces of air barely register
in your lungs.

there are ticket stubs flowing
from your mouth, past lives
in your eyes.

iii.
you are the sweet note in a song,
amplified until my ears scream
in an attempt to drown the noise.

I’m just going to stay here.
In this very spot.
Yes, in the Arby’s Parking Lot
Because I remember on June 30th 2010
Close to eleven o’clock
On my 19th birthday
You kissed me…
In this very spot.

I also won three dollars
On a scratch ticket I purchased earlier
That, in complete truth, was the best day
Of my life

I’m just going to stay here.

I’ve been around the block a time or two…
Hell, I never quit
I never cared
Reckless
Burning the rubber of my tires
Radio at max volume
Speeding up
Sharp turns
…and then I met you

First I rolled down the windows to see if it was real
I turned the volume down…
Shut my car off and got out
I walked barefoot on this gravel road
Got to the top of this gorgeous hill
Blue sky with clouds hugging air
And said to myself…
“So this is what breathing feels like.”

I’m just going to stay here.

We froze time
Every word you said could paint
Canvas upon canvas in my mind
My skul, swimming with hues
Sometimes I get you confused with Picaso


Told you about my Cobblestone path
Where other girls dissolved away
You sat down next to me and said
“What else…?”

You looked at my tattoos
With such adventure in your eyes
My fingers through your hair
And on your skin
Could be a treasure map
I don’t care where the ******* X is
I don’t care where the ******* gold is
I just loved getting lost
And retracing my steps…

I’m just going to stay here.

I’m an atheist
You’re a catholic
Sounds like a sitcom
I know sometimes we didn’t see eye to eye
But I could put my glasses on and then
You’d try with your glasses
We’d try and try and try and try and….
Then finally our pupils would align.
And I was just so happy.

“Tell me what you think…”
You said I could play guitar well but,
My voice needed work
I know I don’t have much of a singing voice
Then I see you and…
I get angels in my throat

I’m just going to stay here…..

You said goodbye to me
I didn’t care to remember the date
Because then every time that number would
Crawl up on the calendar, I’d just be irate
Very abrupt
Train de-railing
Break the rib cage, through the skin

I can’t breathe life into words
That would showcase how I am
Something of that magnitude
Could end the world
And I don’t feel like doing that
Because somewhere, someone
Is having the best day of their life
Who am I to ruin that?

I planted that feeling,
Along with the red pop tab
From your Rock Star energy drink you gave me,
In my backyard
I used to carry it on my key chain
But when I saw it, I felt like
Falling through cement or tiles

That feeling will grow into an ugly tree
Bark the color of granite
Branches twisted like a sociopaths personality
But in the spring…how beautiful
Bright hues would cover the contorted branches
Roots tangled in dirt
How we hugged
Purple leaves
A bright orange glow
Magnificent flowers would….Can flowers even grow on trees?
Never mind, I don’t ******* care, I want flowers on my tree

I shouldn’t stay here
It’s nice to look back and smile but…

I shouldn’t stay here
Leave this world
Let go
Let go
Let go
Move forward
Drop this world
The story is over

Perhaps in five….or ten years
You’ll come back here to this very spot
In the Arby’s parking lot
Pick up my book
Whip away the years
Flip through torn pages
And by the time you collide at the end of this line.
I’ll capture sunshine in my spine

my little heavenward glow
my redeemer with bony knees
you were never alarmed when i'd go
or when the summer burned my feet
you sent me a million notes
gauging new york and it's many beams
and you came home to gloat
with black licorice and beating wings
oh! everyone swayed you, Bonnie
with Teflon coated strings
and everyone had you, Bonnie
the sniping smoke was my reprieve
when my ma asks of you, Bonnie
I see our tails lashing against the gleam
of this filthy ******* town.

I belong to the girls that are drinking eau da vie
no wincing at the finish, no reaching for the knees
there's a powder blue tint staining all of my dreams
and in them I'm godless when I know I shouldn't be
but, have you seen the way that they all look at me?
rough sentences beneath soft lines of wax-berry
I will dance if it's required.

I catch the bursting
water balloon with my face
*I'm coming for you

There's a pebble on my table,
it's rocking too and fro.
I think there is something inside it,
I'd really like to know!
Is it a monkey, a deer or a dog?
Or is it a crocodile, big as a log?
Whenever it moves I have to shout.
"Stop that rocking, please come out!"
Wow, now it's cracking, I almost can see it,
I'll get a wee stick and try to help free it!
Shh here it comes, aww isn't it sweet,
a wee baby rabbit, all snuggled asleep.