Lealend Elisabeth

Lealend Elisabeth Oct 2012

I am not known.
I am kicked out of every restaurant.
I am scorned through the love I give.
I am given poison as meals;
I writhe in pain and they are amused.
My heart often forgets it's purpose,
I am in everyone's way.
I am my classmates' dinner,
a fallen petal burning under the sun.
I am honest and nothing,
a saddened wolf,
destroyed by sheep.

Under the skipping light of a tree,
In caves of snow and childhood
on rooftops decaying under the moonlight
That is where I exist
I am not known.
I am kicked out of every restaurant
I am scorned through the love I give

I am the son's daughter.

Lealend Elisabeth Sep 2012

The Living Island

My island is a destructive one

I wish to eat away at it’s demons,
I wish to make this island alive.

I want to destroy it;
make it beautiful again.

The palm trees will shiver in fear, in pleasure.
They won’t know what hit ‘em.
The quivering mountains will spout words through tears.
“Why am I changing?”

And I will stand at the peak of love,
and scream back at the land:

”You are becoming free!!”

The dangers will crumble away, the soil will melt into itself,
creating itself,
giving birth to itself,
once more.

It will crave for moments suspended in time,
to be

The Living Island.

And so it will become.

Lealend Elisabeth Sep 2012

We are Standing by a Wishing Well

I killed by the millions.

"We are standing by a wishing well."

She was always so beautiful.
Her hair hung, and her voice rang in my veins.

She once told me that poetry was for the weak.
My smile bled, and I knew she was torn.

"Who has consumed you, maiden?"
I needed to know.
"Your body." She smiled.

This woman is dead.
And her death will be the birth of me.

I loved her with every inch of my being.
She loved me with every inch of her genitals.
The *****.

I offered her the moon, the stars,
the magic that never came to be,
I offered her the sun, the clouds,
the person I never came to be.

"I'm wishing..", She spoke into the endless pit.
"I'm wishing..", the well spoke back to her.

I too, wished.
Nobody spoke back to me.

Lealend Elisabeth Sep 2012

To Return

You are filling me.

"To return.."
You speak through teeth,
Understanding escapes me.
Is this an order..?

"To sway.."
The letters reach me, carried in your breath.
Suddenly, I know.

"To sway..", I think.

To sway.
My mind slips, and you take me.

"Where am I?" I think,
but the words do not form.

There is a universe creating itself around me.
The decaying white enveloped the swimming curtains;
they are suddenly so relevant..
As if they've become part of what is happening to me.
I can almost feel the planets forming in the space of this room.
There is a universe creating itself around me.
The light is changing.
The dark is engulfing itself, writhing.

"Writhe.."
Your voice finds me again.
I was becoming lost in myself, into my new universe.

You ******, I comply.
I return to you.

"Good girl."
My head falls back, and I feel my tongue unlearning language.

You dig into my ribcage.
"Good girl."

And I return.
I return to you.

You become violently generous,
teaching me the language of a lost body,
the loss of control.

My mind is nowhere to be found,
I am lost, my hips are not obeying my mind.
The dark is spiraling slowly into me,
I can feel it's warmth pressing me into recklessness.
I manage to vocalize your name.
It's all I understand now-
You.

Unbounded by your touch,
I lose myself into you.

..

"Wake."
I hear you speak.
"Where am I?" I finally ask.
"Back."

And I return.

I return to you.

Lealend Elisabeth Aug 2012

New Kid

”You ain’t nothing in this town, kid.”

I slid my hands in my pockets, slouching
just like mother told me not to.

“You’ll be crushed by the others.
They’ll do things to you that you’ll never forget.
You ain’t never gonna live ‘em down.”

What this guy doesn’t know is
back where I was from,

I wasn’t anyone either.

“Best ‘o luck,
though luck ain’t savin' you here.”

His legs led him into the blinding sunset,
into the city of ruins and graffiti.
It was like fire.
A calm, consuming fire,
enveloping the dying buildings,
swallowing his silhouette.

I’ve yet to understand why my mother gave birth to me.
I ran away from her
away from everything I understood.
and now I’m lost
in a pile of the same ****
simply located elsewhere.

I don’t belong here.
I don’t belong anywhere.
The world is too beautiful for me,
and it’s inhabitants are the source
of all my misfortunes.

Lealend Elisabeth Jul 2012

Optimal2

Optimal2

"Are you 'Doc'?"

His eyes scanned me.
He seemed curious, if anything.

"I am. How are you feeli-"
"Whe's my bat?"

It became clear he had no interest in others.
It also became excruciatingly clear that I, to him, was a higher being of some sort.
A person who was probably in charge.

"Your weapon has been confis-"
"Ih's not a weapon."

The interruption shocked me for a fraction of a second;
his eyes focused and angry, staring into me.
I was glad his bat was nowhere near him.

"I don't expect you to understand;
you are after all, just a child.
But people are dead. Their families are suffering.
People are suffering the consequences of your decision.
How does that make you fee-?"

"I hate you. I want my bat. Give me my bat."

The boy is angry. He is holding back, and I feel it in my bones.
I feel I should leave, but I never was one to trust my instincts.
I never felt I had any to begin with.

"Your weapon has been confisc-"

"IHS NOT A WEAPON! GIVE ME MY BAT!!
GIVE IT TO ME!! GIVE ME MY BAT!!!"

Okay. This is a tantrum. Should I call lieutenant?
I should be able to handle this. I was good enough to get this job, right?
I studied for this. I understand humans.

"GIVE ME MY BAT!! BAT!! GIVE IT TO MEE!!!"

He's kicking and barely in his chair anymore.
..Maybe a sedative would be necessary now?
No, he's not causing anyone harm though, right?
I mean I think so. And it's not like he-

"GIVE ME MY BAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!"

Okay.
Okay.

"MNAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

****. ****.
I can't do this. I don't understand anyone. I have no emotions.
My opinions are derived from books I was told to study. I'm a miserable robot.
I can't do my job. I can't understand a simple child. Why do I even think this way?
****. ****. ****. ****.

"Take a break, Doctor. We still have a few days 'till he can be set free."
The interruption distracted me from my misery.

I just stood there as two men took away the screaming child.
One of them looked at me with a disappointed twist of his neck, as if to say

'**** doc, you ****** up.' "

Lealend Elisabeth Jul 2012

Mother Coil

The nails of rabbits are coiled around my neck,
Shimmering, I exhale into the night.
My breeze trickles in the vespertine space.

Voices claw at my spine,
they climb up my throat,
they silence the thoughts.

they cradle me,
they sing to me.

They tell me I am not human.
My mother is nothing.
They plan
to take me back home.

They say I am formed by the one with willow cuticles
they tell me I am of branches and wild coyotes
They tell me mother's honey is weaved with lies.

The nights are enveloped in my breath.
I dream of flowers and milk,
my hair sparkling in the midst of a windy October.
The leaves crushing beneath my steps,
The wind carrying my soul away.

The soil swallows moonlight,
My pores inhale the aura of my fantasies.

I wake to grasp my place is not here.

Mother is not fond of the flowers I pick;
Her name dances beneath my tongue.
I never open my mouth so it never spills out.

My heart aches...
and I wish to leave.

"There will be a cascade of voices and feathers
the night your mother falls.
She will utter a curse upon you before leaving."

They spoke to me.

"Your heart will wither
and you will inhale our breath.
You will jump the tallest garden of blue waters.
Your body will grow weary before leaving.."

Finally
I will return home.

"It is then you will live eternally amongst us."