this morning
I did not wake up
in your bed.
and I am all the much sadder
for it.

drag a knife down my spine
I had forgotten pain
and now
I need it

I want to forget today
but never forget this feeling
because knowing
that this type of pain existed
could've kept me out of a lot of trouble

and it'll keep me far away from you.

too hot to sleep so I
stayed awake for three straight days
stole this poem
from Sherman Alexie
and he was right;
I opened my bedroom
window tonight.

I forget
who to love
until you are right in front of me
and I always make sure
that you are right in front of me.

I am in love
in my ****** little cobweb room
I lay in bed
look at the ceiling
and think of you.

tomorrow
I will
text you pictures of the asylum
wake up
in time for work
and tell you about
the night before.

it is such torture
to love you
and I do it anyways