"You're pretty."
"I love you."
"We should be friends."
Phrases I tend to cycle through every day.
Words that bring happiness and good feelings into others' lives.
Yet, I constantly get questioned why I'm nice to everyone.
Or told that I can't befriend everyone.
Reminded that people will hate me.
But you see, that's a fact I know all too well.
Behind this smiling face and welcoming exterior is a soul that is broken.
A person who has been picked on, kicked around, bullied
Made to feel so bad that tears streamed more constantly than water from a faucet.
Feeling like I would never be loved
Never have true friends
Never be pretty.
There was a period in my life where I had no one.
No best friend to tell my secrets to.
No circle where I felt I belonged.
Sitting alone at lunch.
One of the worst feelings in the world.
Watching everyone talk and laugh and smile.
And wondering why I can't have those experiences, too.
Eating too much to fill the empty void of time.
Gaining weight in an attempt to drown my sorrows in food.
Fast forward a few years.
Friendships have developed.
They enjoy my humor and fun spirit.
Yet no one noticed the hurt still burning inside me.
The fear of rejection.
The sadness of never understanding old inside jokes.
The worry that someday everything would go back to how it was.
And I would be left alone.
Again.
With no one to talk to or sit with.
So forgive me for being too kind, or too happy. Or spreading love. Or wanting to be friends with people.
Because I never want to experience that hollow feeling of loneliness again.

After all of the long nights I
Spent laughing and loving with friends
I went home to my bed
And resumed my feelings for you,

Way after you got your dog tags
And even long after left me
and my heart up here
in Revolutionary, Massachusetts.

I wish I could blame you for how this feels
But I should probably just blame this town
For never showing me more
Than everything I couldn't have.

Know how to trace;
to recognize your boundaries.

Don't capture someone's words;
hold them with tender fascination.

Know that electric spark in your torso;
is human, let the movement lead you.

Keep those calluses on your finger tips;
measures your joy, you know it.

An elastic band around your wrist;
won't stop the bruising thoughts.

Stay away from armed danger;
your mind may become a war zone.

Listen intently to subconscious thoughts;
it's your mother's playground.

Never let actions be seen as mistakes;
sense the chaos, a good thing.

When your hair is no longer chestnut;
stop looking in mirrors, look at self.

When your eyes are no longer pure;
don't lose YOUR sight.

When time to leave;
don't depart with fire, but a soft wind.

Since I have set my lips to your full cup, my sweet,
Since I my pallid face between your hands have laid,
Since I have known your soul, and all the bloom of it,
And all the perfume rare, now buried in the shade;

Since it was given to me to hear on happy while,
The words wherein your heart spoke all its mysteries,
Since I have seen you weep, and since I have seen you smile,
Your lips upon my lips, and your eyes upon my eyes;

Since I have known above my forehead glance and gleam,
A ray, a single ray, of your star, veiled always,
Since I have felt the fall, upon my lifetime's stream,
Of one rose petal plucked from the roses of your days;

I now am bold to say to the swift changing hours,
Pass, pass upon your way, for I grow never old,
Fleet to the dark abysm with all your fading flowers,
One rose that none may pluck, within my heart I hold.

Your flying wings may smite, but they can never spill
The cup fulfilled of love, from which my lips are wet;
My heart has far more fire than you can frost to chill,
My soul more love than you can make my soul forget

Break rules,
Burn houses,
Let them hate you,
Cause they already are going to,
Be wild,
Be messy,
Don't let them tell you what you can and cannot do,
When they go left,
Go right,
Make a path,
Unbridle your soul,
And hurt,
Don't be so **** afraid,
This earth is so young,
Have fun,
And don't listen to all the dream crushers,
The teachers, the professors,
Rip out pages of books,
And run wild, be an untamable life,
Enlightened those surrounded you,
Nobody got anything done by following laws,
They followed the stars and won

people say trust isn't something simply givin, that it's something earned just like with respect right?
then why would we simplly hand out trust and respect to thoose above us?
to the goverment? we put our entire life in their hands. our entire future. We put our entire country in the hands or a stranger and trust them to not mess it up. Why would we simply trust that that police officer isn't lying about what truly happend? And why do we simply hand out respect to our elders? is it because it is the right thing to do? but who made up what was wrong and right? who or what has that power? no one and nothing. Therefore everyone's right and wrong are totally different. we don't know what our elder's do when we arn't looking, do we? So why is it expected of us to hand out respect? Sure it's polite, but yet, who made up what is and/or isn't polite?



Many people will answer this with god. Simply give god the power thaat he made us all. If i were god, i do believe he would regret his actions of creating human's, why create something so disgusting? So he has things to ackknowledge the beuty of earth? While we are ruining it? I do believe if there is a god he would have commited suicide. There is no reason to be proud of us human's in my eyes. We do terribe unforgiveable things, things that ruin, tear apart, demolish other's life. IN just one day it all could come crumbling down. It all did. It has multiple times before. And it will inevitably happen again.