Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                         Reliable InterGossip Service Providers

                            This one is dedicated to Spectrum

Don’t tell me that they are unreliable
All of my providers have been quite precise
Sure, the picture and sound are not often viable
But the bills are always on time – how nice!

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                 Prancing Chainsaw Dude

Prancing chainsaw dude
Humiliates all of us
And we obey him

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                     Authority Over Everything on the Earth

                                    Sirach 17:1-15

You can’t be authority over all the earth
If in the end you are buried under it
What are man’s honors and dignity worth
After he is ignobly dropped into a pit?

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                             The Curse - of the – Dramatic - Dash

The dash for – dramatic pause – infests
Almost every – essay – these days
Such errant usages - have become pests
And thoughtful writers - might want to mend - their ways

A clear English sentence  - is tight - and terse
A model of - artistic - clarity
But all those pointless - dashes - make the wording worse
Compromising its - structural - harmony

If in re-writing you find – you’ve placed a dash
Just rip that sucker - out – and toss it in –
                   the trash!

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                  Quomodo Est Imperatoris Golf Ludi Hodie?

One sees the Senators cringing before Caesar
But lording themselves over the citizens of Rome
Putting a polish on their resumes’ and their nails
And checking out the cute new dancing girls

Truth is whatever Caesar decrees this week:
The Goths and Britons have signed an eternal peace
The border with Egypt is now secure
The price of wheat is down, as you can see

Thus the Senate proclaims:

Citizens of Rome!

You may not die of starvation in our streets
Lest you put our fat nobles off their sweets!

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                   That Untucked-Shirttail Guy at Every Meeting

You know him well, that untucked-shirttail old man
Booming his gassy voice at every meeting
Whatever the topic he leads the van
Interrupting with his self-obsessed bleating

He was a banker, he tells us repeatedly
He knows about finance, more than the treasurer
And he was a cop, too, he yells out heatedly
And arguing the reports gives him much pleasurer

You know him well, that untucked-shirttail old gent
He doesn’t know Jacques Merde, but he will always vent!

(He’s not unlike an American president)

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                         A Somewhat Whiny Morning Prayer

If only the day
Will live up to the promise
Of this golden dawn