Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                     Who is Your Greatest Hero?

Do you now, or have you ever…

Worked double shifts or double jobs to pay the bills
Read to your children instead of yelling at them
Had to jump-start your car in the pre-dawn cold
Jump-started your neighbor’s car in the pre-dawn cold

Do you now, or have you ever…

Done some hard time in the military
Served in the volunteer fire department
Attended divine services without making a fuss
Milked cows, chopped wood, raised a garden

Do you now, or have you ever…

Know which end of a hammer hits the nail
Built a home library for your children and yourself
Set a daily study schedule for developing your mind
Raised your children after your spouse bugged out

Do you now, or have you ever…

Gone to work early and stayed late at work
And did more than was expected of you
Taken your children on nature works
Volunteered at your local hospital

Of course you have

So who is my greatest hero?

                                                  You are

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                               You Were Dancing Up the Lane

In an old lawn chair I sat and dozed
And felt amber dusk sealing the day
Though I was weary and my eyes were half-closed
I heard you – you, whistling a romantic lay

You were skipping barefoot up the lane
Your skirt all a-dance for your heart’s desire
O Lady-Queen of our happy demesne
With flowers for me, your most devoted squire

I awoke, I blinked – I was all alone -
The sun had set on us, many years gone

But I saw you dancing up the lane…

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                              Go Ask Your Father

“Go ask your father.”

“Go ask your mother.”

“She said to ask you.”

“Go ask her anyway.”

“Go ask your father again.”

“He said to ask you.”

“Well, I told you to ask him.”

“It’s your mother’s decision.”

“He says it’s your decision.”

“It’s okay with me if it’s okay with your mother.”

“It’s okay with me if it’s okay with your father.”


That was always soooooooooooooooo annoying.


I wish I could be that annoyed again.

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                             I Believe in Love, NOW STAY AWAY

In the tiny coffee shop all the tables were full
A man kept his table to himself
And would not acknowledge anyone
Defensive behind his deep-thoughts book

The rest of us shared our tables and space
Exchanging greetings, pleasantries, and thanks
Passing the cream and sweeteners and napkins around
                       All
Except for that one poor sullen man

On the cover was a drawing of a Christian dove -
His book was entitled *I Believe in Love

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                              The Problems with Self-Publishing

The problems with self-publishing are self-publishers:
“Everyone just loves my book; tell me what you think
It’s about my cousin who was a Navy SEAL
And then became a millionaire and then a priest

“He saved the nation from nuclear warfare
In a mission so classified that we can’t talk about it
(But he told me all about it, of course)
And then he saved souls and counseled with popes

“My book is inspired by the Holy Spirit
So read it tonight and tell me what you think”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                            Graveside Service on a Blustery Day

               “The old order changeth, yielding place to new”

                           -Tennyson, Idylls of the King

The widower assisted to his place
Mourners in unaccustomed dresses and suits
A bible, leaflets fluttering in the wind
And gangly teens unsure what they should do

February clouds roiling and boiling
Even the officiant’s words are blown away
Prayers lifted into silence by the wind
They may have fallen by the gravediggers’ tractor

Or were blown through the leaning chain-link fence
Into the deeply darkening Grendel-woods

But still – in back –
                                                 a boy and a girl shyly touch hands

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                       Has All the Gold Been Stolen from Fort Knox?

                     Elon Musk encouraged to crack open Fort Knox
                     and audit the gold reserves

                           -New York Post, 16 February 2025

President Musk will now make an audit
Of the gold in Fort Knox, down to the dime
But all he will find (he may have already caught it)
Is the missing TP from the covid time!