I hear myself singing,
the same song to you:
“You just don’t understand”.
And why must you need to?

You are not me,
it wouldn’t matter either way
if you did or didn’t agree.
I need not have you know my lyrics
or the reason behind my rhyme.

This time
I sing without your approval.
Self-respect comes from within.
I believe in my decisions.
I have to live with them.

And I need no good reason to cry
“Just because” is rationale enough.
An extended explanation
only satisfies your delusion
and encourages this illusion
that I’m not human
with innate emotion.

You ignorantly claim I’m dramatic
or raise your voice, “I’ve had it!”
When will you see
That volume won't change who I choose to be.
Lack of approval of appeal
I will still feel how I feel.

I care to careless
if I’m something you accept.
My only regret
Was giving you more as I settled for less.

It's a pity you’re so bound by your insecurities.
These personal projections,
And loose-lipped accusations
Created to think less of me
and brand me as weak.
I won’t change the degree
of my vulnerability.
It’s genuine and beautiful
Because it is unattainable.

Do you still here me singing?
The same song is still on.
Played by every station.
Get to the realization
the mental destination:
“You just don’t understand”.
And probably never will.

There's something reassuring about seeing the stars move in the celestial sky;
even though things feel stuck, the universe still revolves.
And from the ground looking up,
things look like they move slow.  
Yet, if I were to shuttle into outer space and see the earth from an aerial view,
I would discover that the world indeed spins fast,
and I should be thankful that life feels slow in comparison.

They don’t know my answers
Because I don’t even know my questions
Tell me who I am
I dare you please
Because obviously you know more about me than I do
Let me in on what know
Because kid, there isn’t a word, I haven’t heard.
And there isn’t a judgment that hasn’t been passed
Spoken or silent
The eyes, they tell it all.
Songs that tell me I’m beautiful
I believe, so naïve.
I try to tell myself the same thing,
But instead my words, like daggers
They stab me, and sabotage me.
So tell me I’m worthless, and I don’t deserve this.
But I worked too **** hard to lose it.
I’ll show you, I’ll prove it.
I refuse to believe the voice that tells me I’m not worth it
I fear that I will fail
But I don’t even show up to give myself the failing chance.
Sometimes I become my own worse enemy
And I call myself names so cruel the burns leave blisters on my skin.
First, second, or third degree, no amount of cold water can cool that blaze
Because I know where my heart is, so I know where the soul stays
But each scar I leave, and each bruise I receive
Is a constant reminder I am not perfect,
And no matter how hard I try
Or how much I tell myself
Being perfect isn’t part of being human.
I refuse to be mediocre
But I strive to be amazing.
Because I can’t tell you your potential
Until I have reached mine.
Whether I’m taking one step forward or two steps back
I’m only thankful that I am still moving.
There is more to this life than what I can write
Or sing or say or do
Yet, what is left is me facing you
Saying kid, it will be alright
And I know that sounds so over said
But just like history, truth repeats itself
Or else it wouldn’t be true.
I don’t know who I am
And I certainly am nowhere close to finding out.
But I don’t think, or can, or ever will know
Because I am nothing but myself in this moment,
And myself is constantly changing and learning.
Even as I stand still, and my feet stay planted to the ground
I still flourish
Like a redwood proud and sturdy in the forest
The roots beneath my feet still expand and thrive
And that is enough inspiration to stay strong and survive
And realizing my branches will extend far,
and the birds that nest, or friends who climb, I welcome them
just as I welcome the woodpeckers that pick at my bark
and the lovers who carve their initials inside a heart
because in life I learned I can’t choose what comes to me
I can only let it pass, filter through, and soak up the good.
Because either way a girls got do the best she could
But one day rain will come,
And wash away all the hate
Leaving nothing but purified water for me take
And when that rain comes, it will leave me a bow
Filled with beautiful colors and *** of gold.
As a child I learned early on
I must share that gold
Because the gifts I receive
Are not just for me
But a chance to spread love, and create harmony
And all I really want is happiness
And I love the word happiness because it is spelled with an I
Instead of a why
Because happiness isn’t a question
Some mornings I wake up, and my stretch kisses the room
Other mornings I feel empty, with out reason, and doomed
But I try my best to know that feeling will pass
At least by tomorrow, or by tonight,
As I lay my heavy head on the pillow
And count jumping sheep
Over the moon and onto the stars I will land in the galaxy
Going light years and far
And I promise to come back
After my alarm clock rings
But just for tonight
Please let me dream.

I should have known from the look in your eye
That your sweet whispered nothings were all just a lie.
And the day that we parted,
I regret that we started
But regret can’t remove
The history made.

Now I’m left all alone
And lost in my sorrow.
I gave you my heart
It’s something you borrowed.
I thought I had yours
But you took it back.
You Indian giver of love.

Nothing can take
This pain away
But time will heal the scars.
And so far, scars are
The only gift you left me.
Thanks for the bruises
And all your excuses
They taught me
To not be
An Indian giver like you.

Now I’m left all alone
And lost in my sorrow.
I gave you my heart
It’s something you borrowed.
I thought I had yours
But you took it back.
You Indian giver of love.

I don’t want to compete
Over choices I make in my life
I don’t like to be compared
Or told you are right.

"I made the best choice"
As if there is only one-way.
Life isn’t black and white
But filled with shades of grey.

Clueless to my feelings
You have trouble seeing
The grand scheme and big picture of things.
How this moment you suspended is not worth dwelling.

Nobody is perfect, and that includes you.
I thought we were better then this
Consider what we've been through.

The words you speak, cut me deep
And the tears that fall down my cheek
I’m embarrassed to wipe clean.
I bite my quivering lip
And tilt my chin to the sky
face flushed red, forced to swallow my pride.

The people who love me don’t push me this hard.
And It's a full time job
to quite that voice which judges me.
It's painful when you
so seemingly and easily quite blantenly destroy me.
Take responsibility to the gravity of your words.
Be mindful that I am not you
or what you are.

You are not better than me.
there are not points or need to keep score
Don’t point out the things I did wrong
Just to make yourself feel better.

You can be honest with me
I welcome the truth
But things are heard better
When you’re not being bitter.

Friends aren't police
to punish the choices I make.
Never once have I compromised your values or trust.
I need support and a steady guide
I'll admit we are different, but entirely the same
no one to blame or to be ashamed.
I am only me
not who you want me to be.
accept it or leave.