There was an older woman today at work,
She smelled like blood.
Heavy & metallic & pungent,
Mixed with sweat
It made me sick
And it went everywhere,
The entire place smelled of
death
& there was a bruise wrapped around her arm like a badge, purple,
yellow, brown, pink faded
& sick-looking
Her smell with the miso, lingering, deafening
I'm making a doctor's appointment today for my lymph nodes
(again)
& I'm scared
I'm scared I'm smelling my death on her

The clippers on my wrist
The crevasses in my skin
Only few flooded blood
(I was careful, I made sure)

The burning of peroxide is
No substitute for your kind words
(Saved for them, I,
Jealousy)

Clock ticking, winter
Feb lude
February lude
Purgatory/snow/ inbetween spring and slush
Forget this caterwauling city
Sever the only ties left get on with it but still
Drawn out slow and sleekly
Like the sound of hair clipping
It keeps slipping out of my fingers
You, us
"the beginning of the end"

Skating
Purgatory
Relief

In this sparkling world, fled up North I've
nothing to write, nothing to say, nothing to write, nothing to say
dread, like syrup
sickly sweet and viscous
dread
lukewarm and softly pricking me

A favorite feeling-
Heavy, leaden, fuzzy, confused
Drunken and deafened my mind
Staggering, muted
Into bed, stretched out like a
Petted cat

Sleeping pills; yes please