my neighbor stabbed someone last night
a middle school scuffle turned to adult altercation
and two houses down in the middle of my street
my neighbor was stabbed by someone last night
words turned to fists turned to metal
switch and flick and with children looking on
my neighbor stabbed my neighbor last night
attempted manslaughter and 150 thousand bond and
another child enters in the system
because last night was just another night in the neighborhood

Am I one of the people I have hurt?
Maybe I could come back and apologize to myself first
comfort my own mind and soul
before tending to those outside myself
Because if I am one of the people I have hurt
I deserve my own forgiveness

Am I one of the people I have hurt?

how to divorce shame from the body
this arranged marriage
she is tied to weights of secrecy and doubt and fear
how can one love what they have been taught to fear
fear is the crucial ingredient in the recipe of christian ethics

-a generous cup of fear
-a few tablespoons of doubt
-a dash of secrecy
bake in the oven of isolation and
let cool in resentment for 30 minutes
or until the core is stone cold
a toxic concoction of shame
appearing as a lily white wedding cake


they will tell you your body isn't yours
they will tell you not to feel pleasure
they will tell you to renounce your ****** sin


if *** is sin i am the devil and we are all in hell
shame has been an abusive partner
divorce that *******
and learn to trust your body again
let its warmth comfort you
let its pulse sustain you
let its beauty please you
let its wholeness consume you
become enraptured with yourself
so your body can be yours again

and then you can chose who to share it with
because it is yours to share
your body is yours,
it does not belong to shame anymore

my attraction to ideas :
a semblance of magnetism ;
inward force drawn to outward concepts --
my core screams in motion !
to mythic place of eventual knowing ?
every form of expression inadequate
for this churning yearning that expands past my skin \
when a new possible truth blooms red in my mind.