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I didn't even notice
the tears in my arms and legs,
because there wasn't one through my chest,
or through my paper heart.

The little slashes were endless,
but I ignored them all I could.
Tears in fabrics and laces are
easy to repair,
and I'll patch myself up quickly.

I changed my wear like paper clips,
and pulled all the tape from my hair.
I promised I'd keep it safe, still,
I tried to pretend I didn't care.

Crimple me,
and tear me.
Stash me in a frame.
Make me pleasing to appear,
and very nice to see.

Paint me like a china doll;
pour me in a vase.
I can be just as lovely as,
you'd dress me up to be.

But in the wind I falter,
and the water washes me away.
I may be 'nice' to look at,
but it'll never stay.
Because you are wonder-bread-woman--
bearer of two and a half children,
five feet and four point six inches
of dapper domestication.
soaring, you are at the peak of the bell curve, and when you slip
it's on spilled milk, never cried for.
wistful, you stand on the edge of the bed and reach,
manicure  outstretched towards plastic glow in the dark stars
upwards of your eight-foot-walls,
because after all,
ceiling's the limit.
Bitter much?
At night I tear myself to pieces
wondering which organs are failing,
or how many bones are breaking.

I feel for awkward lumps or other signs
of lesions, tumors and rampant disease
that may someday infest my body,
or have already started to **** me.

All the white coats scare me sometimes;
with red test tubes, proof of the life inside me.
But all I see is dark blue and tiny bubbles
watching a little of the life float above me
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