Searching for truth where dishonesty reigns
Insecure lies leaving blood soaked stains
Believing in words spilt onto a page
Trusting with faith what reason cant gauge
Hope but a memory, a far distance to travel
The heart ponders questions a mind can't unravel
The mystery of forever is reflected in doubt
a riddle for which there is no way out
For the brightest of stars can still crash and burn
a self sacrifice with no lesson learned
Trailing but memories of dreams still unspoken
revealing the vileness of a soul far too broken
But if faith and reason should ever align
Hope can perhaps make a small ember shine

Ever After


Its past the time for fairy tales,
or wishes that come true.
Much too late for breadcrumb trails,
too broke to buy a clue.
The knight in shining armor
has put away his steed;
the princess, if someone would harm her,
will scream a useless plead.
The dragons have free reign to roar,
the ogres feed on dreams.
Trolls control the bridge once more.
Futiley the princess screams.
Seem “Happily Ever After”
and the stories we were told.
Became quite a disaster,
youthful dreams bought and sold.

Beware while you are sleeping,
that's when he comes creeping.
Slithering out from under your bed,
better hope that he's been fed.
He likes to feast on runny noses
makes a snack of smelly toeses,
he licks up hair like cotton candy,
ear wax he this is rather dandy.
Sometimes, he will chomp on feet
but eyeballs are a special treat.
But what he really loves the most
is fresh brain on whole wheat toast.
He's an evil little dude
with a nasty attitude,
and a great huge appetite
always wanting to take a bite.
He's invincible in the dark
but even a tiny spark
or glow of light upon his skin,
will make him start to cringe.
He'll let out an awful yowl,
followed by a mournful howl.
His skin will blister, burn and bubble,
then he'll melt into a puddle.
So, when you jump into bed tonight
be sure to leave on a little light,
then you'll have nothing to worry about-
Unless, of course, the lights go out

And there was nothing left but ashes
and well smoked cigarettes,
and an empty bottle of cheap wine
that had swallowed my regrets.
As the night slipped into morning
bringing light and heat and haze,
so the madness slipped asunder,
knowing sanity's meant for days.
But the night will soon return again
with madness at its side,
and we'll have our midnight dance again,
the dark beast and his bride

And there was nothing left but ashes
and well smoked cigarettes,
and an empty bottle of cheap wine
that had swallowed my regrets.
As the night slipped into morning
bringing light and heat and haze,
so the madness slipped asunder,
knowing sanity's meant for days.
But the night will soon return again
with madness at its side,
and we'll have our midnight dance again,
the dark beast and his bride

Patience is a virtue
well, I'm not a virtuous girl
The seconds drag like hours
till you're back in my world
Sleepwalk my day through mundane things,
socks and locks and chicken wings

Want to set a plan in action
you're such a beautiful distraction

My mind races to future dreams
in my brain a movie streams
future times, undone crimes
unspoken signs and movie lines
Want to make the clock tick faster
not afraid of this disaster

Want to set a plan in action
you're such a beautiful distraction

An hour passes, then two more
my heart imagines whats in store
One day gone and then another
wonder if you'll like my mother?
My feet never touch the ground
I'm screaming but I make no sound

Want to set a plan in action
you're such a beautiful distraction

Heart open to all possibilities
only held back my abilities
to please you, tease you
hold you,  squeeze you
Hoping you'll return the favor
time with you is what I savor
thrill me, fill me
tempt me, **** me

Want to set this plan in action
Oh, you're such a beautiful distraction

Tried to take a snapshot of the joy within my heart
but the colors couldn't capture the brightness of my soul
Tried to paint a picture of the solitude I felt
but the unforgiving canvas only showed a blob of grey
Tried to sculpt a model of the strength within my mind
but the clay was soft, my inept hands couldn't make it behave
Tried to compose a symphony of all I've ever been
but the notes were shrill and piercing in my ears
So I will try to capture my soul upon this page
exuberant joy bounces
righteous anger seethes
envy and greed sicken
rage burns hot
hatred reigns
despair washes over
contentment settles in
sadness lingers
mingles with loneliness
ecstasy thrills
faith falters
hope survives

Pills, pills
all shapes and all sizes,
white ones and pink ones,
all full of surprises.
This one to be happy
and that one to sleep.
Another for calmness,
one so I don't weep.
Red ones and blues ones
big ones and small,
I'll mix them together
and have a pill ball.
My minds a bit fuzzy,
I cant think quite straight.
I pour all the pills
on a very big plate.
Swallow them down
with some wine or some beer,
***** or ***, whatever is near.
The tension is leaving
my minds finally clear,
I can finally relax now
the end is quite near.
I awaken to brimstone,
fire and death.
The air is quite acrid,
hard to take a breath.
And now I admire
how far I have fell
Now I'll be your demon
and haunt you from hell.

They said it wasn't right, wasn't normal
not how a life should be.
They said she is too smart, she is too pretty
not right to waste her gifts.
So, I took the beast and squashed him
swallowed him and made him small
to fit in a small corner
of my stomach.
I feed him chocolates and wine to keep him quiet,keep him still.
Then I bought a mask of normalcy (it came with an appropriate smile)
so I splurged on the accessories!
A thoughtful frown, a look of concern, a how-to book to fool the masses.
Now They look at me and smile
“My, she looks so healthy, see how carefree and happy!”
and they whisper “How wonderful, she never cries anymore”
But the beast, though he is resting, knows all that's going on.
Sometimes he tears at my stomach,clawing his way out
and up my throat.
More chocolate! More wine!
A cigarette to occupy him!
A shot of coffee to confuse him!
He quiets for a while,still restless
the anger, rage and pain hard to keep
locked away so long.
But, They say that this is better,in the long run
for us all
But when I shoved him in his tiny cell, he didn't go alone.
He stole the flames of love and passion,to burn his hate and rage.
Swiped the heart of kindness and compassion,to pierce with violent anger.
Took the soul of joy and brightness,choked it with jealousy and pain.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling brave
I let him out-for just a little while
To see if he can behave.
Testing to see if They can tell that he is among us.
They are blissfully unaware of his presence,
for a while.
But he always trips up, always shows his hand
he must be punished.
Squashed back down to his dank pit,
My stomach feeling queasy from his sickness.
And I quiet him again, with chocolates and wine,
keeping him drunken and content.
But the truth, the truth is
I miss him.

Copyright © 2010 Laura Verdi Stridiron

No, my names not sweetheart, princess or baby girl
nor am I a brilliant star shining over the world.
And did you ever think that maybe
I don't want to be your baby?
I'd also like to mention
when I speak your attention
should be focused on my face,
not any other place.
Because your mental *******
causes much frustration.
Is it surprising to know I wanted more
than to simply be your *****?
So when you lie and say forever
I'll just laugh and say whatever.

I foster demons
So if have any that scare you at night
wake you from dreams with a terrible fright
make themselves known at inopportune times
or force you to contemplate terrible crimes
bring them to me.
Tell me your tales about sad childhood days
regrets for things done in a teens drunken haze.
Name all the people who hurt and betrayed you,
sick evil ******* who laughed as they played you.
Recount the memories that cause so much pain
open your heart, let the bad feelings drain.
I foster demons
I'll welcome them into my soul, I will tame them
directing their rage into good, I will train them.
And when the times right and I know they are strong
I'll channel their anger to where it belongs.
You see-
I'm working on a hit list, it grows longer every day
and soon those demon makers are gonna have to pay
I foster demons
Bring them to me.