I dig down deep into the belly of earth
And pull out an old chest all covered in dirt
The padlock bids me to unlock its mystery
I searched all around but cannot find the key

I'm surprised as I turn back ... who is this woman I see?
She sits on my box - she intimidates me.
There's something familiar about her I feel
Do I know her?  I think so ... her eyes are like steel.

"It's your footsteps I hear through the halls of my house.
You lurk around like a snake on the prowl.
Like a shadow connected to the heels of my feet;
You follow my footsteps ... you're that voice that leads me

"Away from the darkness of past memories,
Gently pulling the reigns, my will concedes
What horrible things live in your sights?
Why deny me the knowledge of what torments me at night?"

She lifts up her voice and sings a sweet mournful dirge;
My attention is diverted to the doors of the church.
A little girl stands there awaiting her fate ...
The priests of the night come and whisk her away.

Upon the altar they lay her as the sword is now drawn.
On the pew I sit with a deep sense of forlorn.
The sword splits apart her young innocent life,
Her youth is poured out to the gods of the night -

To the gods who reside in that box out of sight
Holding on tightly to the secrets of my life.
I stagger through hallways of my dark empty house;
Through portraits of time, I search to find out.

I ran through the hillsides as far as I could;
There at the walls of repressed memories I stood.
Though screaming against me ... I ran and I fought
But I could not get access past the walls of these thoughts.

Exhausted I fell beneath the spell of deep sleep.
I awoke on the altar ... the sword plunged in deep
I felt the pain of my past come back to life
As they poured out my innocence to the gods of the night -

To the gods who reside in that box out of sight
Holding on tightly to the secrets of my life.
The stars all fell down out of the sky
Their lights were extinguished as all heaven did cry.

The earth had now swallowed up that old box
And as its mouth gently closed I sealed up the locks.
I hid that old key far out of sight
As you tugged on the reigns we walked on through the night.

I heard music rise up filling the room
With the warmth of denial my heart was consumed.
I ran to the window and looked at the sky
I thought to myself, "Where are the stars that light up the night?"

I could hear her footsteps run through the halls
Like a snake on the prowl she guarded the walls
And the stars all fell down out of the sky
Their lights were extinguished as all heaven did cry.

Death lives in the dark corners of my soul -
Lulled to sleep with her songs; I find I'm consoled.

A conglomeration of thought eventually collide.
A collision of conflict will be my demise.

I walk through the halls of a stranger's home;
I peer out the windows to a land I don't know.

A little girl stands there - tattered and broken.
She wears the face of a tired old woman.

Live empty carcasses press in on all sides.
Like cannibals they try to eat me alive.

In torment I dance between fantasy and reality
Hazy memories responsible for a fragmented personality.

The little girl runs past me - a ****** sacrifice.
At the hand of her abuser, innocence lost her life.

Sun breaks through the dark visions of night.
Plastic smiles contain all indications of fright.

I see her lying there in a casket of dreams.
A sense of anxious silence careens

Towards the house of denial and an emotionless life,
Survival depends on avoiding the plight

Of repeat behavior - of life being expressed ...
So I open my soul to the solace of death.

She lulls me to sleep with her songs of the night.
This stranger's home seems to fit me just right.

My heart is a castle, long vacated, dark and unkept.  
Your fingerprints lay peacefully right where they were left.  
The sound of your voice bounces across the old walls.  
Every memory of you is held locked in her vault.

As the mere scent of water brings a man back from death;
So the fragrance of you would give my heart back her strength.
My skin vibrates violently at the thought of your touch.
O to taste of your sweetness would be more than enough.

My lips long to be crowned once again with your kiss.
To live it again is my heart’s deepest wish.
To look in your eyes to the depths of your soul
Memories of you, they never get old.

Like a man who scrapes the scabs of disease from his skin;
You scoured your heart clean of every memory of when ...
With unwavering strength, you shut me out  
Like rancid milk from your mouth, you spit me out.
Like refuse, you discarded me - tossed me away.  
For a moment you loved me - but then turned away.  

Like an abandoned old dog, who faithfully waits -
My heart sits here longingly determined yet ashamed.  
Why did you breach all the walls of my heart?
Like a replaying movie, I relive every part ...
Why did you give me just a taste of your love?
Like a hunter you trapped me - in your memory I’m stuck.

The earth shakes violently and opens her mouth.  
My heart sinks down slowly as earth swallows her up.  
A cold bitterness pours over me like cement on the street
It climbs up slowly til I’m completely caught in its grip.  
I’m lost in this torment, I’m can’t find my way
In the maze of this conflict - I’m sick and afraid.

My Lord, I’m praying please help me to live.  
Please numb the pain - split open this grave.
I know what I should feel - but not how to proceed
I loved him so deeply - it gets hard to breathe

My heart is a castle now haunted with ghosts
No lover will stay there - no guests will approach
Voices reverberate through every hall
Yes, my heart is a castle hidden behind a thick wall.