Write it all
***, lies, secrets
Those things eating you up inside
The furious thoughts
Set them on fire
Your darkest kindling
Someone's gonna relate
They've all been there
We all live here
Write it all

I crave that which is bad for me
But you weren't bad, just bruised

               *I think I'd fall for anyone
               with a black and blue heart

My lover asks me:
"What is the difference between me and the sky?"
The difference, my love,
Is that when you laugh,
I forget about the sky.

I’ve been in love  
With more things than I care to count.  
I fell for the sky the moment I realized the city hides it’s stars.  
I fell for that picture, because it was easy to love a moment.  
I fell for iced tea, because it refreshed me.  
I’ve never tried to hide things about myself.  
Never thought it better to keep things secret.  
I kept one.  
It was something I’d refused to feel.  
Everything I never wanted.  
To ashamed to want.  
It was a person.  
It was a boy.  
I think I fell in love  
But whose to say what it actually was.
I mean for God’s sake.
I fell for tea, just because it kept me cool.  
I’ve fallen for wind, and hands, and rings, and poems, and walls.
I’ve fallen for everything, because I’d always wanted to feel.  
Never needed to heal something that was broken.  
Because I never broke.  
I avoided falling for humans, because being rejected.  
It wasn’t an option for me.  
Putting up a front when it came to others, was easy.  
Everything else was easy.
Loving was easy, when they couldn’t love back.  
The first time I fell in love. Wasn’t the first time I loved.  
The first time I fell in love, was the first time I broke  
I think people assume that I hold on to everything.  
Because I remember alot.  
I think people assume I’m a *****.  
Because I probably am.  
I'd had a heart accustomed to feeling remorse for friends, never myself.  
A heart used to feeling for others, not feeling what others felt.
I never cried. Never shed a tear.  
Maybe I should have, because maybe it would have been all I needed.  
Something small broke me.
But my body never cracked. Just my heart.  
I grew small, because I was angry.  
I was capable of being large, because I loved to love.  
Things.  
Not always people.
I was forgiven.  
But I don't think I was loved  
I hope you’ve fallen for something.  
Whether it be a painting, or a mirror, or a mouth.  
I hope you’ve fallen for something.  
Because falling for something  
Was always easier than falling for someone.

be sure you haven't locked the cat outside.
you know how much that annoys the cat.
but sometimes you do it on purpose.
and when you burn your toast
aren't you mad ?
it's like a special mad
reserved for burnt toast.
in an hour, if you hurry
you'll already be ten minutes
late. it's like you can't catch up
to what you believe in
at the speed of doubt.
can you hear me?
is this thing on?

I've been there but i can't tell you how to leave.
it's your move.
how many times do i have to tell you
it's your move ?

the mind is a terrible thing
that springs
to mind.

so terribly beautiful.

you deserve a novel,
but these words suffice:
you thief.

Someone I once loved
Ran his finger across my chest and traced
The outline of my moles and said
"They look like an anchor! When you connect the dots, they are the shape
Of an anchor! You are an anchor. It all makes sense now.
You are going to be okay."

At the time it was like some big epiphany for him,
Like he was telling me something about myself
That I never knew when really, I always knew
It was just
Something I didn't want
To admit. It is something
I have been running away from for a long time now, thinking
I could be an anchor for someone else
Because then THEY could be my problem, my project,
My ocean
So then that way I could leave myself, fallen by the wayside
To wither away, slowly, subtly,
Secretly disappearing.

I am attracted to people who are made of glass,
People who shatter easily, who shatter willingly,
Who are reckless and brilliant, beautiful and dangerous
People who I unconsciously think
I can save.

I can only save myself.
I can only be my own anchor.

I am nowhere near strong enough
To be with someone again
I am so terribly fragile, I break my own heart
So easily. Too willingly.
All I want is to keep realizing things like this,
To admit my mistakes and learn from them, not
Repeat them.
To hold on to the people who keep me on the ground,
The people who actually love me, who don't put me on
Some pedestal where I am liable
To float away.

Because if I'm not careful and let myself
Float away again,
I
may
never
come
back.

she thought that when she closed her eyes the world would be better
she thought that good would fill the bad
that happiness would fill the sad
she thought that the world would glow with smiles

she thought that if she closed her eyes the hurt would be sweet
she thought that the beatings wouldn't bruise
that the names wouldn't sting
she thought that her lids would shield her from pain

she thought that imagination could overcome reality
she thought that if she told herself everything would be okay, it would
but her eyelids didn't shield her
and her words didn't heal her

and the world remained untouched
and the beatings still bruised up
and for the first time she saw
the ring of fire encircling us all