maybe in another life things could’ve been different
maybe in another life things could’ve worked
i crave you in the deepest way, forever i will want you
since my love for you is so deep i have to let you go
maybe in another life i could’ve been different i wouldn’t have showed you my worst sides
i have a piece of you forever but i want you
empty without you
i cant put to words how you make me feel
the things you showed me no one else could you made me feel on top of the world
i know i wont meet anyone else like you
i dont think ill ever want anyone else
when it first ended i tried to push all the feelings away
now theyre all rushing at me like the strongest wind and i have fallen
all i want is you i want you to hold me again i want you to comfort me again i want you again i want you close like i had you but i pushed you so far away
out of fear
trying to protect myself instead i blocked my blessings and now im left lonely missing you, maybe forever
if i try again if we try again i know it will never be the same
when you held me yesterday it almost felt the same but when you look at me its not what it used to be the side of me i showed you, it wasnt me
you showed me your worst but it didnt make me run it made me want to hold you closer i wish i could fix you i want to absorb your pain
the way i feel for you is something i dont think i could feel again
maybe i just have to pray that somehow you will fall into my arms again
maybe in this life it will work
maybe in the next life we can meet again
but forever i will love you

I thought i had nothing to say
But i decided to stay a million times
And you have a million eyes
And mine are brown sometimes
But sometimes in the right light they look green too
Just like yours
Sometimes I have dreams about you and me
But it’s not the same ones they used to be
I needed you to tell me that you see your future, that you’ll see me later
But I think deep down there was never any future
At least not in this lifetime
And I think I’ve always been Tom and you’ve always been Summer
Or maybe Sid and Nancy
Metaphorically speaking of course but it still hurts just as bad
I think I must’ve died a hundred times
You said you wanted my collar bones
So I gave them to you
Because out of all the things I’ve grown out of
You were never one of them
Sometimes i lie here wondering how you remember me
If you think about the songs that played the way i do
How sometimes Kele Okereke comes on shuffle on the way to the gas station
And i have to go home on empty

I met a genius on the train
today
about 6 years old,
he sat beside me
and as the train
ran down along the coast
we came to the ocean
and then he looked at me
and said,
it's not pretty.

it was the first time I'd
realized
that.

I drove past your house the other day
Where you and i
Would lay for hours
On top of the old roof
Where the sunlight would kiss your face
As the sun set itself to sleep every night
Old friends share greetings with beer
And when the alcohol
Starts to course itself through my veins
Like a blend of colors mixing in a river bend
It helps me numb out the memories of us here
To temporarily mend
Some days
I forgot my sadness exists
And it doesn't hurt when you don't call
But sometimes
I get choked up
Over the sound of your voice
When I replay your missed calls
Like the old broken record
We found in your house that one time
The one that I drove past the other day

How am I supposed
To feel anything
When all I see is colors
In black and white

I've traded in hearts for habits
for using those who let me in
And allow me to wipe my feet on their fresh wounded hearts like welcoming mats that collect dirt in old broken homes
Who welcome me to build my house into a home
Made out of sticks rather than stone because let's face it
I've never been good at being home
And like lines in white drugs
I've grown habits to use them like I use you
Like we use each other
And I like the way that it makes me feel
I like the way that you make me feel
I like
the way
it feels
So I stay where I am
As you undress my clothes
Undress my childhood memories
Undress my parents vacant home
Promises we've kept to ourselves
That we'd never speak of love and only stick to the things we know best
Things we always wanted to accomplish
Whispering at night while the walls sweat with secrets meant sleeping all day and making daylight our rehab
With love, comes fear
So I ran with a heart that dried up and buried it in foreign soil
And maybe once spring comes again it'll grow like we once did and my heart will be sober again
My addictions have become acquainted with my daily routines because lately it seems like this never ending road is a path straight to hell
But maybe I don't want to leave
Maybe I'm too comfortable where I am
And while we're being honest, if we're being honest at all
I dont remember what it's like to be my old self anymore

I placed my phone beneath my pillow

Hoping that you’d call 

Just to tell me how you watched the sunrise this morning 

And how you’ve been homesick 

So I can tell you to come home 

And welcome you with open arms 

To let you know

That even if it were five years from now
It’s always been you