it’s cold here..
the place where grudges held are like jewels in a crown, we wear them.
loss & lonely visits and never checks out.
anxiety always comes in strong like waves trying to wash away any possibility of new destiny.
when will this fear let go of me?
it is too dangerous to stay here yet i can’t just get up and go..
i know of nowhere else.
i am too familiar to this place of nothingness and sorrow, it has kept me warm and it has kept me sheltered.
maybe, i need someone to hold onto so i can let go?
dark like the corners of my heart where love hides, fetal position.
dark like the pupils of the peers, in pairs they appear misguided.
why am i here?
the things you hold onto are the things that hold onto you; your resentment resides & it situates itself in the deepest parts of you.
it takes full control while you watch yourself become homeless in your own home, stranger.