every now and then these thoughts come creeping in just like a closet monster, what did I ever do to deserve this torment, the  face  of deception that replays in my brain is making me feel like I'm useless all I really needed was your attention not just The affection sometimes I question will I ever be able to trust all I really need is some angel dust so I can finally know what its like to be loved, this face that I cant see is frightening .im afraid of being alone, this secret that's uncomforting my soul comes with terrible thoughts,  all my life I felt like I was a mistake not knowing who I really was ...

The world has no remorse for putting drugs on this planet, slowly increasing deaths, you gave me a feeling of satisfaction for a while but all this came with a price that cant be solved with a bag of ice ,I'm screaming inside saying free me from this pain that's blinding my eyes I try to fight back but I cant take your  hand ,addiction is grabbing me from my wrist  with a rubber band slowly taking me further into disappointment a feeling hard to get rid of, right now im relying on the little sanity I have left, addiction its called a place where i cant be free a poison not like any other free me from this pain I think im going insane .

your smile on a sunny day brings peacefulness and warmness to my heart creating a gap that can old me fixed with your name, in my dreams you are all I see nothing that can be compared to an island without a sea. everyone says that you are like a willow tree but I fairly disagree you are more like a queen bee flying swiftly with the breeze creating new blooming flowers. This majestic feeling cant be compared to any other your love for life can bring me joy simply my hearing your voice.  making me feel at home you always knew how to sing the right notes . all I really have to say is you are a majestic human being bringing life to this earth.

You came into my life bringing me words, thoughts,  and ideas as if you were singing .you brought me a new beginning together forever I can finally say I found someone to fight for , you finally gave me a reason to open the door and get up off the floor . this feeling I have never felt before I can happily say I found a new beginning  to start over and forget the past this feeling I hope to last  your words gave my heartbeat a blast .a new beginning to finally feel reborn , I feel lucky as my blood rushes through my veins I can say that I feel no pain.

waking up and feeling completely lost is a feeling not many people know,
waiting for life to bring you peace is a feeling I will have to let go
"I should just keep to myself, "I say as my only other friend is anxiety
why do I care, why? why? , as I begin to realize that anxiety is an aching pain sort of like a cavity, not something you can see or touch just feel.
"Write it down or simply stop it"!!!
I scream !!!!!
it's not easy when im on the verge of trembling down and hitting the floor, hands shivering and eyes filled with tears
I finally feel released from everything I fear.

your rose scented perfume is like heaven in human form, nothing that can be compared to any other. your smile makes me go the extra mile,  an angel singing its marvelous, but I will rather stay with you, I hope that in the upcoming years you find the love of your life, someone who treats you like a queen causes you to deserve the moon, stars and the whole world beneath your feet, when I see you my heart, skips a beat because who knew that a rose can be reincarnated into human form what can I say someone as beautiful as you can really start a storm  when you walk through any door your like a butterfly starting to transform into a majestic life form .

You raised me but there was always a hole in your heart, not feeling safe in my own home I chose to go through a different door,  the scars and torment you caused left me on the floor picking them piece by piece I lost faith in you, cant you see me fading into darkness just say my name say something before its too late before I'm smothered by your hate, leaving me vulnerable to this big scary world .

Each and every day I rise a piece of me is torn apart,  it's like a mouse following a snake to its trap  this feeling that aches my heart is causing nothing but miserable pain , everything that is around me is moving on,  growing,  evolving and I'm here waiting like a rock patiently praying for a miracle so I can finally move and say that I'm free from this ****** up world . society is bought with money its nothing compared to honey slowly depriving citizens from certain options .

A long time ago I gave up on being me I stared at myself in the mirror and its as if I was a whole different person, I let myself die in someone's arm and all I could feel was the heat from his body. suddenly all the pain, anxiety, and depression left my body and I felt whole again this feeling made me burst in tears cause  it was the best  feeling  in the world ..... he fixed what was broken inside  me and built me up from nothing, as he spread his wings I said teach me to fly and at  that moment I knew he was the one .

Every single day I walk in with a smile on my face, centering myself and hiding my heart from tainted hands

As I sit there and listen to every heartbeat, my body creates the sound of loneliness guiding me down a deep state of sadness

it started as a feeling that turned into madness, selling lies, smiles, heartbeats like a store with a special sale

its time to hit the road and say my goodbye's to the person I once was and say hello to the person I'm starting to become. ✌️

sadness overwhelms my heart rapidly slowly turning into madness, my visions getting blurry I can't see my goals they  are out of sight I opened up to something that doesn't exist,  my lungs are being twisted by something malicious this feeling is supiscious my ambitions are being torn right in front of me im trying to scream help me help I'm yelling but as I keep screaming I just keep sinking into a hole,  a hole that's filled with lost wishes and  dreams,  that teens can't fulfill because their feet are being tied down to a rock that sinks into unaccomplished dreams that's surrounded with nothing my coldness and remorse a feeling that can't be cured because its not something to forget .

Everything that exists now will slowly fade within seconds its as if everyone was holding different weapons because there was a gun my sanity is done sending bullets to my brain,  I feel like I'm going insane because of these weapons now everybody feels threatened  slowly causing the world to divide ,time passes by and there still guns why does this all happen ?  your words will never turn into reality slowly increasing deaths as the day's pass, this world only revolves around the economic class. schools are meant to be a safe haven for teens but because of these weapons, they grow up with a shadow consuming their hearts, creating a world that survives off of false hope

I always have these ugly thoughts some I even fought so they would not reach the surface of my light, I grew as a person and finally stretched my wings to fly, but I'm thinking my heart feel like a broken car (used, and passed down), it hurts to express these feeling that only bring negativity into my life , I forbid myself to see those sides again  I wasn't made to be thrown in someone arms and shine bright like a candles pure light . I've held myself from being torn apart, I'm a seed in the soil waiting to sprout and feel the rays of the sun just so I can bloom and be what I've always wanted to be, the power that courses within is sheltering me from the world. what is the definition of shelter? if everything that gets thrown at me pierces my skin and leave me marks I always have to remember. I said farewell to the scars as I simply laid in a supine position and took in everything that was great at the moment and slowly drifted away from all this hurt and became nothing but blank.

I can be worth more than gold or so I've been told each and every day I erupt with cheer cause I feel like a star in the night sky so bright I feel no fright, I'm slowly waiting to go out of sight so the sun can shine bright like the morning snow, flowers bloom and souls are doomed creating new life my smile is sharper than a knife , I can see a new world full of peace and kindness.....