In a time of drought
The angels count the raindrops
That quench the earth's thirst

The weeping willow
Cries herself to sleep each night
While counting her tears

She walks alone down the dusty road
On a night without a moon
She knows if he ever finds her
That her life will end too soon

For now he knows of her infidelity
That she's hidden from him for years
She pulls her hair back out of her eyes
And she wipes away her tears

"I still love you", she softly mumbles
As his car pulls by her side
He says, "Get in the car, we need to talk"
As he takes her for a ride

He says, "I love you too, we can work this out"
For he loved her way too much
He reaches for her tear stained hand
Cause he's aching to feel her touch

She smiles and take his hand
Not expecting it to end like this
They lean across the seat
And embrace in a passionate kiss

He grabs her wrist and won't let go
As she sees the coming light
He aims his car in oncoming traffic
As he holds her oh so tight

"Why are you doing this?, she asked
He said, "Because of all of your lies"
The last thing she heard him say
Was "I love you" and then she dies

It took them several hours
To clean up the twisted mess
When they found her husbands body
He had her picture on his chest

A note was found beside him
That told of her affair
It said if he couldn't have her
He wasn't going to share

Why it had to end like this
No one truly knows
But the place where they found her body
Stands a crimson rose

A still frozen stream
Waiting for the sun to shine
Granting her freedom

Valentine's Day is dead to me
Now It cuts me like a knife
See, February the fourteenth
Was the day, Cupid stole my wife

I told my wife how special she was
With flowers and candy in hand
She replied, "Yeah okay whatever"
And I really didn't understand

I thought I left the toilet seat up
Or said her mom was fat in my sleep
I tried to ask her what I did
But she just wouldn't utter a peep

Then out of the blue, I noticed
A tiny arrow had pierced her heart
I knew it was that love fairy
That had torn our marriage apart

She said," I'm sorry I just can't help it,
I love that little dude with wings,
He makes me feel alive inside,
With all the happiness he brings"

"He even likes to watch chick flicks
What more can a woman ask?"
I knew I couldn't compete with that
For It was just too great a task

Well, the days went by like minutes
Til one day, when I came home
Our bank account had been cleaned out
And I found myself alone

I still see them every now and then
And now Cupid has even grown a beard
My wife was always partial to those
So it turned out just like I'd feared

Don't worry about me, I got my revenge
I'm dating Mother Nature and never feel no pain
For everytime, they leave their house
She always makes it rain

It was time for our annual cookout
That's when my wife asked me please
"If you get the time and you don't mind,
Could I ask you to please cut the cheese?"

I have to admit I was puzzled
I couldn't imagine what she means
So that's when I went to the kitchen
And opened me some beans

By the time I was finished
The people started to amass
My wife said, "It's time to get started,
Would you please pass the gas?"

So off I went to get some more beans
By now I was getting pretty full
Trying to figure out who would be first
To offer my finger to pull

By the time I got back it had started
But it ended in minutes to my shame
I burned down half of the city
I was standing too close to the flame

Held captive by her agony
Her quill, the hero's sword
She writes like a damsel in distress
With freedom as her reward

Her knights in shining armor
Are the words that set her free
They surround her pain in one accord
To slay her misery

This dragon known as "Heartache"
Has left the poet maim
The words she writes will heal her soul
And extinguish the dragon's flame

The sword once more in the poet's hand
Gathers together her knights
Each hero lands a lethal blow
Whenever the poet writes

The poet lays her weapon down
Rescued from all her pain
The damsel closes her eyes to sleep
Her dragon finally slain

Dance, little Angel
It's time to dance
You'll never know failure
Until you give it a chance

Traces of fairy dust
Will only enhance
This moment, we'll cherish
As we're watching you dance

Put on your slippers
And give us a twirl
Photographs are taken
Of our little girl

You can feel the music
As it sings from within
Don't be afraid
To give us a spin

A miracle hidden
Is so hard to find
Just dance, little Angel
Though you are blind

Sorrow only hangs her head
While walking to the floor
Pride wants all the attention
While Greed keeps seeking more

Shame hides behind the curtains
While Anger demands his way
Fear is too afraid to dance
Impatience just wouldn't stay

Joy was dancing all over the place
While Lust's heart began to burn
Love just watched with stars in her eyes
While Patience was waiting his turn

Confusion didn't know what to do
While Surprise was doing the twist
Shock was so appaled of it all
While Temptation just couldn't resist

The Broken Hearts just sit and cried
While Doubt didn't believe it was real
Now you've seen the dance of emotions
So tell me, how do you feel?

In the darkness there are places
That no one's ever seen
Guarded by a wicked one
A kind of devilish fiend

He rejoices over heartaches
And revels in our cries
He causes pain I can't explain
With love as his disguise

He catches all our teardrops
And brews them into tea
He drinks it with our broken dreams
That keep him company

He mocks us when we cannot sleep
In dark and lonely places
He reminds us of the love we lost
And shows us all their faces

Wayward hope become his teeth
To chew our broken smiles
He decorates his domicile
With all our pain filled files

In the darkness there are places
You will never wanna see
Guarded by a wicked one
Known as "Misery"

She writes in her diary
The events that's taken place
She locks in her dresser drawer
To hide it just in case

For it keeps all of her secrets
That's she's never told a soul
Things she's hidden in her heart
That no one will ever know

Its pages tell a story
Of her sorrow and her joy
Her memories wrapped in paper
That time cannot destroy

It holds her key to happiness
And even, the meaning of life
It tells of all her heartaches
That cut her like a knife

Her diary holds the mystery
Of where she's coming from
It tells of who she is
And who she wants to become

Pen and paper in a carboard box
Becomes a little girl's past
Her dreams, memories and heartaches
For as long as the binding lasts

Dear heartache, why must you hurt me so?
What must I do to end this pain, I beg you, let me go
You rip my soul to pieces, and steal my hopes and dreams
You've clouded my perception, for nothing's like it seems

Tomorrow holds no future, I'm a prisoner of the past
Cursed to live in darkness by the shadows that you cast
Your taste is in the food I eat, that's salted with my tears
Your stain is on my pillow case that never disappears

Dear heartache, when will you set me free?
What have I done to cause this pain, why must you torment me?
I've written you this letter inquiring of your spite
But I finally know the answer, you're the reason that I write

How many beats does a heart have?
How many breaths can we take?
How many times can we open our eyes
Before something begins to break

Who has all these answers?
No one here on earth
Our lives become a mystery
From the moment of our birth

Each day that we get older
Is one day closer to death
The angel of death is counting
The numbers until our last breath

The things that we take for granted
Are the things that we need to live
How much blood can our bodies lose
Before it has no more to give

Not that any of this matters
For it's out of our control
When it's time to say goodbye
None will ever know

Death stands knocking at my door
"Go away" I scream, "Go away"
But he chooses only to ignore
And not listen to what I say

He keeps peering through my windows
Looking for a way, to enter in
While making subtle innuendos
About the kind of person I've been

Ever knocking, he will not leave
Trying to get my attention
His subliminal messages I receive
That tells of his evil intention

I keep hearing him knocking, every hour
He will not let me sleep
Holding me captive, with his evil power
Ever chasing my soul to reap

Knocking, knocking, knocking
His cadence is driving me mad
My fear, he's continuously mocking
Envading what dreams I've had

Then his knocking suddenly disappears
As silence now rings in my head
Maddness has overtaken my fears
Or maybe this means I'm dead

Has anyone seen my destiny?
Some might call it fate
The future me, I long to see
And I don't want to wait

Who will I be tomorrow?
Will I see things differently?
Or on that day, am I sorry to say,
I'm someone I don't want to be?

Where's that magic mirror,
That knows of future things?
Will it show, what I want to know,
Of what tomorrow brings?

Will I be a man of honor?
Which path should I choose?
Will I roll the dice once or twice,
And soon find out I lose?

Has anyone seen my destiny?
Show me which road it takes
Will I choose to change and rearrange,
And learn from my mistakes?

Do you recognize these teardrops,
That's flowing here once more?
My cheek's become their resting place
Like a thousand times before

My sleeves reach out in sympathy
To heal this liquid pain
But the scars stay hidden in silence
As the hurt begins to stain

You couldn't hear my heart break
But you can see it in my eyes
My tears bring forth the evidence
That my silent pain denies

Do these teardrops look familiar?
Each one feels the same
I'm tired of crying these reused tears
With only you to blame

You told me that you're sorry
But I've heard those words for years
It's time for me to say goodbye
And cry some different tears

I first learned to dance when I was four
But my kids won't let me do it no more
They say I look like a perv
The way I wiggle a swerve
They say I even embarrass the floor

Sometimes, we simply drift apart
No matter what we do
We always try to make it work
Tho we know, it's not going to

You say that I neglect you
And I don't know you anymore
You need my full attention
Like the way it was before

"It's not you it's me" I say
But no comfort can be found
We sit and don't communicate
We barely make a sound

As days go, by the words will fade
We're both now less persistant
There's nothing we can do to change
We've now become too distant

For several days her daughter would say
The angels said, "Don't be afraid"
Her mother simply dismissed it
Like it was a childhood game she played

But soon she started to worry
For the little girl kept telling this tale
She also said she talked to Jesus
And she described it in such detail

She told her mother that Jesus said
Tomorrow, He's taking her home
The little girl was only three years old
These things, she couldn't have known

Her mother was just a little concerned
For each day it was always the same
Was it just a little girl's imagination?
She was sure it was a childhood game

Well tomorrow came and all was fine
And her daughter never uttered a sound
So she fiiled up the pool, only eight inches deep
And that's where, her little girl drowned

Now, this story is true, every single word
For it happened to some friends of mine
This story took place many years ago
And their grief grew more distant in time

But I just couldn't imagine, the pain that they felt
As they remember what their daughter would say
The Angels would tell her, "Don't be afraid"
And that Jesus would take her away

I've waited now for many years
Just to hold your hand
I tried to tell you how I felt
But you couldn't understand

You smiled at me, once long ago
For a second as you passed
I even tried to say hello
But it happened way too fast

You walked with me, side by side
But you didn't look my way
I wanted to shout your name out loud
But I didn't know what to say

But one day it's gonna happen
When fate comes stumbling by
I'll take your hand and hold you tight
Until the day I die

'Til then I'll just keep waiting
No matter how hard it seems
One day I hope to meet you
And not only in my dreams

As the sun begins it's journey
Darkness overtakes the light
The moon wakes from it's slumber
As it ushers in the night

The sun gives up its glorious hold
As the moon begins to rise
The pinkish glow of defiance
As they battle to own the skies

But the moon remains persistent
In its quest to gain control
While the sun looks for a resting place
To hide it's radiant glow

The moon becomes impatient
And calls for the stars to appear
The sun is growing weary
For it knows it's time is near

The stars reflect the moonlight
As the sun is seen no more
Each night, this battle rages
Just like the one before

The sun returns at dawn
To reclaim it's rightful place
But the moon will rise at nightfall
As the sun sets in disgrace

By the time you read this, I will be gone
I will simply no longer exist
I'm using the last words you said to me
To drain the blood from my wrists

Your words cut through me like a suicide knife
Like the very sharp edge of goodbye
"I'm sorry" will not stop the bleeding
Nor will the tears that you cry

You filled my veins with your poison
With promises, that you didn't keep
You pierced my heart with all of your lies
The scars, I carry so deep

So how do you know when it's over?
When you given them all you can give
The tears that I cry are shaped like goodbye
With no longer a will to live

I never knew that words could ****
But today I no longer exist
The ways that I died are all trapped inside
And are simply too many to list

An echo is the sound of loneliness
It can come in many forms
It can even be a broken heart
That's weathered many storms

It's found in every teardrop
As it falls from someone's cheek
Or maybe a feeling of hopelessness
In a time when things look bleak

It's hidden inside betrayal
Like a promise in disguise
It's found in all our shattered dreams
That takes the form of lies

It's found in every heartbeat
That used to beat as two
We can find it in confusion
When we don't know what to do

An echo is the loneliest sound
That one will ever hear
We'll always hear it more than once
For it will always reappear

It echoes in the darkness
A silent sound that's heard
Its pain cries out in agony
Without ever speaking a word

This sound is too familiar
It's known by one and all
Nothing can keep it silent
It's perfect without a flaw

The effect it has is lasting
For all of those who hear
It can even be contagious
If someone is standing near

Its sound can even be blinding
As it brings us all to tears
For some it lasts for a couple of days
While others it can last for years

No one can ever escape it
It's destined right from the start
At least once in our life, everyone will hear
The sound of a broken heart

Time starts ticking the day we're born
Today is tomorrow's past
Yesterday is just a memory
That fades away too fast

Everyday when the sun sets low
We're closer to the grave
Death keeps calling every hour
'Til we become his slave

While we're young we live forever
Living life to the fullest, we're bold
But one day soon time starts to fly
Then the grave awaits, we're old

Looking back we count our blessings
And curse the things we've lost
For time doesn't care who we are
And we all must pay the cost

Our life is only an echo in time
Destined to disappear
From birth to death then we're gone
Like we were never here

© All Rights Reserved

Time starts ticking the day we're born
Today is tomorrow's past
Yesterday is just a memory
That fades and never lasts

Everyday when the sun sets low
We're closer to the grave
Death keeps calling every hour
'Til we become his slave

While we're young we live forever
Living life to the fullest, we're bold
But one day soon time starts to fly
Then the grave awaits, we're old

Looking back we count our blessings
And curse the things we've lost
For time doesn't care who we are
And we all must pay the cost

Our life is only an echo in time
Destined to disappear
From birth to death then we're gone
Like we were never here

Empty places that once were full
Are now my prison walls
The silence seems to mock my pain
As the voice of loneliness calls

The valleys now I wander quiet
The mountains,  all laid low
No way to climb, to be raised up
My heart, no place to go

Broken into a million pieces
Shattered, beyond repair
My journey ends in desolation
No one to meet me there

I hide my eyes to calm my fears
But the screams don't go unheard
Goodbye, is written inside my heart
A hollow and lonely word

A place like this is not quite hell
But it's as close as you can get
Reminded of the day you died
A day I can't forget

Did you know that every teardrop
Has it's own story to tell
Sometimes of a love gone bad
Or a heartfelt sad farewell

Sometimes, we cry tears of joy
Or even tears in pain
And sometimes, on our pillows,
Our tears will leave a stain

We've cried tears of sadness
Or when smoke gets in our eyes
Sometimes, it's a broken heart
Or when a loved one dies

Sometimes, we laugh so hard
Our eyes will flood with tears
Tears can have a healing power
That will even calm our fears

Sometimes, when we're crying,
We'll wear a thin disguise
But you don't have to hide your tears
For everybody cries

Autumn leaves dance in the wind
As it's breath awakens the trees
The limbs tremble in defiance
As they try to resist the breeze

The trees shiver in the cool morning air
As the dew gives way to the frost
They know their armor will soon be gone
For all of their leaves will be lost

Winter stands ready to enter the stage
And for Autumn to relinquish it's hold
It's time for Winter to abandon it's slumber
And Autumn must welcome the cold

Winter demands Fall's allegiance
Like a General shouting commands
Autumn must follow it's orders
For the time of change is at hand

Winter's cold winds show restraint
As Autumn surrenders in shame
The trees bow in silence
With only Winter to blame

Winter takes it's rightful place
'Til Spring revenges Fall's death
But Winter will battle until the end
'Til it breathes it's final  breath

I must feed these demons that tear at my soul
For they hunger and thirst for my death
An offering of sorts, to appease and console
For they're lusting to covet my breath

The skin on my wrists begin to sigh
As the blade tries to comfort my veins
The death angel waits, he slowly draws nigh
Only a prayer for forgiveness remains

The demons rejoice in lieu of their prize
I can feel their claws holding tight
The darkness replaces the light in my eyes
I move farther away from the light

The floor turning crimson, the demons now drink
They grow drunk on this nectar of life
Death growing closer, he stands at the brink
And licks at the blood on my knife

The demons devour my last will to live
And mercy fades away like a mist
I gave them a gift that no man should give
Though I probably won't even be missed

She tries to remember
His voice as she cries
Reflections of him
Can be seen in her eyes

Her memories betray her
With each passing day
Her smile, now broken
Has faded away

Her reason for living
Escapes her mind
She looks for a future
But none will she find

Her lover now sleeps
In a field of stone
As she's cursed to walk
This world alone

She tries to remember
His voice as she cries
Reflections of him
Can be seen in her eyes

Her memories betray her
With each passing day
Her smile, now broken
Has faded away

Her reason for living
Escapes her mind
She looks for a future
But none will she find

Her heart rendered worthless
It's shattered in two
One beat lay silent
The other askew

Her lover now sleeps
In a field of stone
As she's cursed to walk
This world all alone

She ran through fields of daisies
Chasing her *** of gold
On the tail of every rainbow
She was only six years old

"Someday I'm gonna catch one"
She always used to say
I didn't have the heart to tell her
That soon she'd pass away

Stricken with cancer at the age of three
She lived life full and tall
I've questioned God so many times
Why take one so very small?

She fought hard those final days
It happened in the spring
She never found her *** of gold
That the rainbows always bring

We Buried her in those daisy fields
Deep beneath the ground
We marked it with a wooden cross
Where my gold can still be found

Woe, unto this heart of men
This mortal soul, I fear is weak
I question God, is this sin?
Bold I was, now humbled and meek

Forsaken by the breath of life
My lungs betray my need to breathe
My heart is pierced by an unseen knife
A foe, my mind cannot perceive

My dreams held captive by enchanted smiles
My hunger, a thing of the past
My sleep now stolen by these wicked trials
A torment, that's unsurpassed

What curse is this that leaves me maim,
And renders my body weak?
Does this demon have a name,
That paints my future bleak?

Alas, this wound will never heal
It festers within a crippled soul
'Tis love that's robbed me of my will
For I no longer have control

The cool breath of fall
Frees the leaves from their prison
Floating to their death

Touch not the heart that doth not beat for you
Plant not the seed of sin that grows to lust
David and Bathsheba already knew
The fire that burned within would ****** trust

Keep not hidden this flame that tempts thy soul
Cast out the embers that cause thee to fail
Why keep a flame that thou cannot control?
Doth not the embers spread that lead to hell?

Temptation comes in many hidden forms
The forbidden fruit grows on many trees
Why cause the winds to blow that bring life's storms?
Rather be content with the gentle breeze

Let not the eyes condemn thy very soul
Cast out thy lust and keep thy body whole

Love is something we're born with
Hate is something we're taught
Love is something we look for
While hate can never be sought

Love doesn't takes any effort at all
But hate takes a lot of work
Love makes you feel good inside
While hate makes you feel like a ****

Love is something that always brings peace
While hate only causes war
Love will always be welcomed
But hate we will always ignore

Love grows freely inside of us
Hate someone plants a seed
Love is part of who we are
Hate is a whole different breed

The only thing they have in common
They're both just a four letter word
Love will always come natural
Hate must be seen and heard

"How do I know who I can trust?"
Said Eve to the garden snake
"You can trust me", the serpent replied
As his forked tongue began to shake

"I'll be your friend and you'll be mine,
And Adam doesn't even have to know"
"Just take one bite, it'll be alright,
And you can tell him I told you so"

Well a worm came out of that apple
Before Eve ever got it to her lips
He said, "What are you doing?, run away,
Don't listen to the snake's evil tips"

Eve was confused by the snake and the worm
And didn't know what to do
So she said, "Eeanie, meni, minie, moe,
I think I'm gonna pick you"

Now we all know who she chose that day
Not the worm, but the serpent instead
She had some protein with her forbidden fruit
When she bit off that poor worms head

Deep inside a secret garden
Beside the wishing stream
Wishes are planted and watered with tears
And grow into a dream

The dreams are plucked by young and old
Each night from the wishing ground
Then returned from whence they came
To the garden where they were found

Sometimes they're picked too early
That's when nightmares are born
Those are the dreams that's cast aside
Their roots then twisted and torn

The wishes are planted in Winter and Fall
And come to life in the Spring
The dreams in the garden have to be picked
To see what magic they bring

Deep inside a secret garden
Beside the wishing stream
Wishes are planted and watered with tears
And grow into a dream

I'm haunted by your memory
A ghost of things long passed
Trapped inside my hollow dreams
A love that didn't last

A spirit that taunts my very being
It will not set me free
Bound by the chains of my regrets
Its echo haunting me

I carry around this broken heart
My reward for misplaced trust
I chose to walk the path of love
But you, the path of lust

The spectre of your lying eyes
Follow where ever I go
Broken promises upon your lips
Piercing my very soul

Still haunted by your memory
No peace for me to find
Tormented by what could have been
This ghost you left behind

What spirit is this that steals my sleep
And haunts me from the past?
'Tis a phantom of a tragedy
That her mournful shadow casts

A restless soul that invades my dreams
While walking to and fro
She bids that I should come to her
As she seeks her Romeo

She wanders through my bedroom door
When I am fast asleep
Awakened by her cries for help
As I listen to her weep

This ghost I fear has evil intent
Though, I cannot see her face
She casts her spell upon my heart
And will not leave this place

Though she beckons me to go with her
I dare not surrender yet
Cursed to be a tortured soul
By the ghost of Juliet

There's a cabin on a hillside
Scattered leaves upon its floor
No curtains for its windows
No hinges for its door

A fireplace made of broken stones
Lined the outer wall
Outside becomes the inside
Painted by the Fall

A table in the corner
Where homemade bread would sit
A broken chair with wounded legs
Its binding, worn and split

Behind the cabin's hollow shell
A cross that marks the past
A tiny grave, that's filled with love
A daughter who had passed

This cabin tells a story
With hidden imagery
Filled with ghosts of yesterday
For all who want to see

I just can't escape my fate
I guess I was born to write
I've joined the realm of rattling chains...( applies oil to chains )
And things that go bump in the night...( bump! )

A different dimension is now my home
And I can even walk through walls...( see? )
I'm cursed to write these funny poems
While walking and haunting your halls... ( trips over chair )

Now, I don't wear a sheet on my head... ( place ghostly moaning sound here )
That's simply not who I am... ( rattles chains! )
I'm something like an apparition
For I'm no longer a man

I dare you to read my poems
As I beckon from the grave... ( boo )
I'll poison you with my funny lines
Til you brains I shall enslave... ( coughs )

I've now become the Ghost Writer
The one you knew has vanished...( Where'd I go? )
So I'll haunt you with my ghostly verse
Til one day I'm finally banished...( The End )

She sits all alone in an empty room
And silently watches it rain
She draws with her finger, a bride and groom
In her breath that's on the pane

Only twelve years old, and already grown
The chemo caused her to age
She'll never grow up and live on her own
She feels like she's trapped in a cage

She searches the window for locks of gold
Her reflection announces her shame
Her hair is all gone, she starts to look old
The cancer alone is the blame

Her breath once more, covers the glass
As a tear escapes to her cheek
She draws with her finger a stone in the grass
Her body keeps growing so weak

With one last breath she closes her eyes
And listens once more to the rain
She doesn't exhale, the little girl dies
Overcome by her horrible pain

A groom stands alone, frozen in glass
His bride was laid in the ground
Beside him stands a stone in the grass
Where the bride on the window is found

The wheat in the fields
Bowing to the harvest wind
It is time to reap

A runaway from the age of fourteen
For three long years she's been alone
One bad decision after another
Has forced her to make it on her own

Wise to the ways of the world
Still, a piece of her is missing
Homesick for what she left behind
A memory, she just keeps dismissing

A little sister, waiting at home
She hasn't seen now in years
The thought of never seeing her again
Suddenly brings her to tears

She had to leave, she had no choice
For she was pregnant, with her first child
Her father just wouldn't understand
A daughter who had been defiled

She couldn't survive with a baby
So she had to give it away
Adopted to a loving family
She hopes to see him someday

She sells all of her belongings
For a ticket to go back home
She's a little apprehensive
For it's the first time she's ever flown

She just can't wait to see her sister
And tell her she's okay
It was time for the plane to leave
She'd be home that very day

Thirty thousand feet in the air
Out her window, she sees a flash
The pilot comes over the intercom
"Buckle your seatbelts, we're going to crash"

She bows her head and says a prayer
As the tears fill up her eyes
The plane comes down in the middle of a forest
Everybody dies

A momentary lapse of reason
Has brought me back to you
Even though I'll always know
The hurt you've put me through

With blinded eyes I come again
My heart won't let me leave
I can't deny the tears I cry
The evidence, on my sleeve

Doubt has now replaced the hope
That made my world worth while
Dread and fear will reappear
And steal away my smile

Like a puppet on a lonely stage
My strings are in your hands
I have no will to even feel
Just following your commands

I'm just going through the motions
Tired and feeling used
I tried today to stay away
But again, my heart refused

Here's another story that I just made up
That just can't wait to be told
About a weary prospector, down on his luck
That gave his life for his gold

He was way up yonder in the hills, they say
Just him and his scrappy old mule
That poor old mule didn't have no teeth
So he'd sit around the camp and drool

Now that prospector, who we'll call Jake
Was as secret as he could be
He didn't like people snooping around
So he wasn't much for company

See, Jake had been on that mountain
For nigh on twenty years
But he never did hit the mother load
With all his sweat and tears

Then, one day he decided to go fishing
A fish pulled him right in the river
He tried to hang on with all of his might
It's hard to do when you shiver

Jake looked up and was headed toward the falls
So he decided he'd better let go
When he dropped that line, he sunk like a rock
And started thrashing to and fro

Now, Jake was a real good swimmer
He was on the prospector's Olympic team
But, everytime his head went under
All he could do was scream

Now Jake had prospected his whole life
But now, he was getting pretty old
He didn't know the reason he was drowning
But his pockets were full of gold

When he figured it out, he had gold fever
And he refused to let it go
All poor old Jake could think about
Was he finally hit the mother load

See, when that old fish had ****** him in
He was dragging him on the bottom
There was gold just laying everywhere
And that's where his pockets got 'em

Poor old Jake drowned that day
Richest man in the world, I think
His old mule was standing on the bank
Drooling, as he watched him sink

They fished his body out of that river
The next morning before dawn
But they found both pockets as empty as could be
It was stolen by a leprechaun

Well, I guess it's time for me to go
I can see as I look at my clocks
But if you really wanna protect your prospector's gold
Then let me suggest Fort Knox

You're like a passing apparition
A mist that's caught in the wind
The breath of the morning fog
That comes to a sudden end

You're a glancing ray of sunshine
That takes my sight away
You're the space that they call twilight
Between the darkness and the day

You're like the anticipation
When two lovers first embrace
Or maybe an embarrassing moment
That colors a person's face

You're like that rush of adrenaline
That's right before you lie
For it only lasts a second
And then it passes by

You're like a bolt of lightning
That flashes before the dawn
You love was only fleeting
And now it's simply gone

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
I'm sure you remember that song
Well that was my grandma who was hit
And again, they got part of it wrong

See, she really was run over by reindeer
But it was nothing like they said
Those deer were driving a milk truck
That left my poor grandma nearly dead

My poor grandma just got done milking
And was putting the cows back in the field
When eight drunk reindeer in a milk truck
Crashed thru the fence and didn't yield

They just kept on going thru the barn yard
Straight thru the creek and down the hill
Grandma looked like a bug on a windshield
With pieces of her wig on that milk truck's grill

Now poor grandma never seen it coming
Cause she was looking the other way
We even found that poor womans glasses
Stuck on a scarecrow near the hay

Well, now my grandma had not been drinking
Like that song had claimed she was
But somehow they try to make it funny
Seems like those city folk always does

Well, that's about as much as I can tell you
Because the lawsuit is still pending
Those reindeer got some north pole lawyer
And we heard he's pretty good at defending

So beware of reindeer driving milktrucks
For they mean to cause your grandma harm
And don't forget try to remind your grandmas
To look both ways when she leaves the barn